A/N: Welcome to the Most Random Fic Eva! A fic that is so random that it'll be weird and…super weird! Let's have a look at the first random thing…

The Most Random Fic Eva!

Chapter 1

Dong Zhuo, Diao Chan and Zhang Liao were peacefully eating dinner. Then…

Don't ya wish your girlfriend was hot like me,

Don't ya wish your girlfriend was a freak like me

Dong Zhuo, Diao Chan and Zhang Liao's mouths dropped open… Yes, Lu Bu had just walked in, in a thong that said 'HOT' on the front, and had just danced to that music in front of them. Yes, while they were eating.

"So what's for dinner?" he asked, like he hadn't just done what he'd just done.

Many miles away…in Florida… Zhang He was swimming with dolphins. Sima Yi had decided to go with Zhang He on this trip…why had he done that?!

"GAY BOY!" Sima Yi shouted – why had he done that? Lu Bu ran past Sima Yi in his hot pants and jumped in the pool with Zhang He, together they swam with dolphins. WTF!? Sima Yi thought.

Meanwhile…at George Greens secondary school…Gan Ning was flicking paper around the classroom.

"Gan Ning!" yelled Mr. Zhang Jiao yelled. "Stop throwing paper!" When he turned to the board Gan Ning flicked one last big ball of paper, it was meant to hit Zhang Jiao, but it hit the jade Buddha next to him. The Buddha wobbled for side to side…CRASH! It fell down and smashed.

"That's it!" Zhang Jiao yelled. "GET OUT!" Gan Ning slumped out. "Now that he's out, let's continue…Ganesha is a Hindu god with- GAN NING! Stop banging on the door!"

"SMILE!" Jiang Wei said. "Fabulous darling! You are gonna be in with the men tonight!" Zhao Yun posed for the next huge poster that would be hanging on the Koei Wall of Fame. "A little to the left, now, a cheeky smile. We all love you boy!" Jiang Wei was snapping away, the poor people who paid for the camera film; it was all wasted by Jiang Wei…

Sun Jian was just sitting in his palace, minding his own business when Kenshin and Shingen walked in.

"Look! It's Sun Jian!" Kenshin screamed.

"Let's get him!" Shingen said. Kenshin and Shingen ran after Sun Jian, their weapons in their hands. They chased him all around the palace until they managed to corner him.

"Sun Jian…" Shingen panted.

"Can we have your autograph?" Kenshin asked.

"Yeah…" Sun Jian said. They put their weapons forward, Sun Jian jumped back. Shingen gave him a pen.

"Sign my fan, just here, please." Shingen said. Sun Jian signed both weapons, then Kenshin and Shingen left. Sun Jian fainted, he thought that they were gonna kill him.

"Hello, what's your name?" Simon Cowell asked.

"I am Zhang Jiao!"

"And what are you going to sing for us today?" asked Sharon.

"Heaven is a Place on Earth."

"Okay, let's see what you got." said Louis.

"OOH! Baby do you know what that's worth! OOH! Heaven is a place on Earth!"

"STOP!" yelled Simon. "You really think that you've got the X-Factor? What on Earth was that?!"

"That was my glorious singing!" Zhang Jiao explained.

"Whatever, Sharon?" Simon said.

"It's gonna have to be a no, I'm sorry." She said.

"It'll be a no from me to." Louis said.

"You're not through to the next round. BYE!" Simon said.

"It's because I'm a Yellow Turban, isn't it!" Zhang Jiao turned around and stormed out.

A/N: Well what do you think? And that was only the first chapter! For anyone who does not know who Kenshin and Shingen are they are characters from the game Samurai Warriors. I'm gonna try and make sure that each chapter has a Wei, Wu, Shu and other scene and that there is at least 500 words to keep you all happy, it could be a while until my next chapter…