A/N: Please... indulge me, it's sad... it's how I feel... so please... It's the feeling of a one-sided love affair... the feeling of someone in love but the person they love doesn't love them back... this is it... I think...
Disclaimer: I don't own SM...
Just Tell Me That You Can't...
You knew that you could make or break me... You knew that you are the only reason that I can truly be happy... the only person who could turn my world upside-down... the only person in this god-forsaken world who could make my gloomy day a happy one... You of all people, knew that... but then, you never did anything about it... you just left me hanging, like you always did... you left me with my hopes up of how we could be together... of how eventually, you would come into my arms and never let go... and I don't know what came over me to be so stupid, and downright dumb to just go with it all along... I knew you were kind... that was after all one of the things I loved about you... but then again, you should have been kinder... kind enough to tell me that you do not love me, that you could never, and will never do... You could have said that you cared for me, but you didn't... you could've at least pretended that you cared but you cannot find it in yourself to even care me... I would've understood... really... i would have... but no... you didn't do any of those things... you didn't mind me getting all heartbroken beyond repair, did you? I guess you didn't, because instead, you left me hanging, you left me hanging with high hopes... high hopes that one day, someday... you could really love me back...
You know, when you enter the room, my face lights up, it's like I'm a kid all excited about having a new pair of shoes... it's silly, really... and then, all of a sudden my throat becomes dry, and I can't utter a single thing... and after all that, my smile fades away only to be replaced by a look so serious one would think I'm a judge amidst a very tricky case... people always tease me about that, you know? About how I can be all bubbly for one moment and then when you show up, it's like I'm a totally different person... maybe that was one of the several bad things about me being in love with you... you turn me into a different person... a person whom I don't have any idea of...
ave I told you that I spent my nights pretending, dreaming that I am in your loving arms? Yep... I always find myself pretending that you whisper sweet nothings into my ears at night... pretending that you love me... and at one point in time, I thought that if this is the only way that I could say that you are mine, and mine alone, I said that I would gladly wish for myself to be asleep forever, so that I could hold you in my arms...yes, i did say that... it's absurd... yes, I know it is, everyone knows it is... It's pathetic... yes, it is too... but can you really blame me? You never paid any attention to me in the past... you never did, and you never will... could you blame me for wishing to be asleep forever if that's the only way I could hold onto you? If that's the only way that you could say that you love me? Tell me, can you blame me? Can you blame my heart for wanting you??? for loving you? can you???
All you had to tell me was you can't... that was all it would take for me to stop this foolishness of mine... so, why don't you tell me already? Please? For my sanity? Tell me... tell me that you could never, will never love me back and I will stop, as hard as it is, I will stop... please... Just tell me that you can't...