Hi bleachers. This is my gazilliumpdeedumpteenth time I've atempted to make a multi-chaptered and...
fun fact : I've never finished one ever.
Just to note, this will probably be the longest chapter and I bet you there will be a very large time interval before each chapter is made. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Mom won't let me buy them because she says my smile is already white.

He fell apart seeing her like this.

Kurosaki Ichigo had, countless of times, saved Rukia. He had faced battles thought impossible, reached ideas too awesome to be real, and had even kissed death, becoming a hollow to save her. Whether he knew it or not, Ichigo had secretly committed himself to protecting this girl from anything that came her way. But there was nothing he could do right now. There were no battles to face, no words to say. The power and strength he had gained had ultimately become void. For once, Ichigo could do nothing to save her.

His energy had surged outward for the reason of hating him. He was the one who did this to Rukia; the one who had reached into her body, ate her from the inside out, and caused her to hysterically push away anybody who wanted to help her.

Rukia collapsed on the floor, screaming her heart out at the cold ground.

And all he could do was watch.

Ichigo had suddenly hated the one, Abarai Renji.

----------------

"Hoi, Kurosaki."

Ichigo was in the school library during lunch, he didn't feel like eating, so he had substituted his time outside with the time reading. He looked up to see his red-headed friend.

"Nnn. What's up?"

The lieutenant shifted his weight to one side and tucked his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. He looked mildly uncomfortable, but gnawed out a smile within his tatooed head. For a minute, to Ichigo, the situation looked like Renji was going to propose. He immediately shook the idea firmly out of his head and buried himself back to his manga.

"Sit in a chair, people don't want to see your ass all high up."

"I'd rather I stand." Renji surpressed a violent reaction into a small twitch in his left eyebrow.

"Fine."

Ichigo took a glimpse at the Marlboro pack loosely showing from Renji's sweatshirt pocket.

"Not trying to be a pansy or anything, but if the principal saw you with that, you'd die."

"O-oh, yea. I know. It's empty," Renji slipped it out of his pocket and took a look at it. " I quit..."

"When?"

"Like, yesterday I guess. I decided to used all of them until they were gone. "

"Gee whiz, aren't you proud?"

"Shut up, don't talk out of place when you know I'm totally better than you at anything." He gave no room for Ichigo to comment as he asked, "Where's Rukia?"

"Che. I see her way too much. I gave her to Inoue." Ichigo went back into his book. "Can you leave now? The bell's gonna ring."

And Renji left.

Just like that.

Terrible.

----------------

Inoue Orihime watched as Rukia tapped her tennis ball meekly against the wall. Her eyes sparkled as she laughed.

"Kuchiki-San! You must hit the ball harder if you want it to come back. Here, let me show you."

Orihime gently took the racket from Rukia and tossed the ball over her head. She hit the ball with a solid amount of strength and loosened her form for the next hit. Her hair twirled around her body as she twisted her torso and hit the ball firmly again. She was an amazing sports player, and showed absolutely no effort. Rukia smiled and quietly sat on the bench next to her and Orihime's empty bentos.

A few minutes later the full-figured girl turned when she heard a small gasp from the bench and turned to Rukia, concerned. "Kuchiki-San, is it a hollow?"

"Nn? Oh, no. I feel Ren-" Rukia was interrupted by the bell claiming lunch was over. Orihime's eyes widened and stuffed Rukia's racket into the tennis bag and ran off. She called after her friend. "Gomenesai, Rukia! I have a test that I haven't studied for! I have to get to class early!"

"It's okay! I'll clean up the things here." She gave a wry laugh and picked up the bentos from the bench. Slowly heading to the trash can, Rukia felt a riatsu behind her.

"Renji. I haven't seen you in ages." She didn't turn around. But felt the smile take over the boy's face.

"Most of our classes are so different... I took a look at the student rank list." Renji continued in a mocking voice, "I'm very disappointed that the daughter of the noble Kuchiki Clan is such an average student in a school of only mortals. Shame ain't it?"

"Hey, maybe that's just my cover." Rukia replied. He chuckled and Rukia continued. "I have to get to class."

"Can you skip?"

"Not really."

"Oh." Renji's smile slowly faded and observed Rukia was strong, focused eyes. Rukia had taken noticed, and asked with much concern.

"Renji, are you okay??"

The two-minute bell rang and Rukia's violet eyes dilated. Before Renji was about to say no, Rukia ran off, hurrying to class. "I can't be late," she called.

"I see."

That was the end of their last conversation. It hardly was even worthy to be called a conversation. There was no passion, no meaty information, no color or emotion that had been reached into their body and let out. It was simply a light, dull conversation shared by two teenagers that could have said much more. And that was what Rukia had regretted the most about the whole situation.

Wait. No.

It wasn't.

Rukia regretted something even more. Rukia had, now guiltily admitted, gradually pushed her best friend away from her life. Meeting new people the first time she had entered Karakura, Rukia had created strong bonds with new characters; one in particular. Maybe it was the affect of being so earth-bounded for such a long time, but Rukia's heart seemed to limit him out. She slowly by slowly nudged time spent with Renji for other things. And soon, his invitations for her were completely ignored. It must of hurt for Renji, she thought. Rukia knew that Renji was never open to most people, and the only person living that he would tell his troubles to was Rukia. She felt stupid that she had only come to this term now.

And then Rukia realized the whole reason this had happened:

that she, the lifeline from him to the rest of the world, abandoned him;

that she, starting a new life in the living world, forgot to include him;

that she, choosing to solve other people's problems besides Renji's, ignored him;

and that she, Kuchuki Rukia, had shunned Renji enough to a death.

Rukia came to an equation of what led to Renji's suicidal decision. And there, in front of his burial, amidst shinigami that couldn't relate to her feeling, realized...

She had killed her best friend.

The death of a shinigami by suicide always had a certain scent in Seiretei. It was pleasant, but made you feel heavy, as if you were ashamed to be in the presence of such a glorious scent. And although is was such a content feeling, it was able to burden you as you walked around.

Rukia, violet eyes wide, was absolutely stolen of spirit.

She had absolutely no feeling to express Renji's death.

So she had absolutely no feeling to express at all.

----------------

Pedals seemed to fly in the air among the white dressed shinigami walking around busily. It had been a few hours after the burial of lieutenant Abarai Renji, and people had seem to continue on with life as if nothing had happened. But the death of Renji held a burden with many people.

Ichigo, hands firmly stuffed in his pockets, looked outward on to the Seireitei courtyard. Orihime, who had finished her chat with Ishida and Chad, came slowly towards her classmate. "Kurosaki-kun..." The beautiful girl had planned on what she was going to say, but her voice faded when she saw his amber eyes smolder. She reluctantly continued, "We're heading home now. It's late, you know. We should... we shou-"

"Please go on without me, Inoue-san. I'm staying for a while longer."

Orihime noted mentally that he did not say, "little while longer."

"Hai."

"Tell Chad that when gets home, to call my family and tell them that I'm sleeping over his house."

Orihime, not knowing how else to answer, just nodded and left. She had no idea how to handle Ichigo. And even more, she had no idea how to handle him when something like this happened. Orihime knew that she wasn't the person Kurosaki-kun was closest to. And when she thought about the person who was, her heart skipped a beat.

How? How was Kuchiki-san able to get so close to Ichigo in the small time they had known each other? And why was Orihime, trying to break his wall for years, not even able to make a dent in his life?

Rukia would have been able to convince him to come home.

In fact, Rukia could and had seeped into everyone. And Orihime still had trouble trying to make an effort with just one person. How did Rukia do all this? What would she be able to say? Was it the way she looked at you? The way she spoke so that you would be able to quote every sentence she said?

How did Rukia seem to understand everybody's problems? Rukia knew how to break walls and immediately find out what the person needed. And for Ichigo, Rukia didn't just understand him, she changed his life forever, just by entering into the picture. Orihime felt a pang of jealousy as she headed towards her other two friends. Orihime knew that they all needed Rukia.

"Is he coming?" Ishida asked, but knew the answer. Orihime shook her head.

The three left, present when the pedals twirled around and around in the air.

"Kurosaki-kun..."

----------------

Hands still in pockets, Kurosaki was leaning against the wall, scanning the courtyard for Rukia. She was behind her brother, staring dumbly at the back of his cloak. She looked like a small child, very tiny and innocent-looking. Kuchiki Byakuya was talking with a few other captains, Soi Fon-Taichou, Kurostuchi-Taichou, and Hisagi-Taichou. When they walked away, he spotted Ichigo across the courtyard.

"Ichigo, come here."

The human headed to Byakuya, glancing at Rukia for a moment. He took notice that she had not reacted to his name, which he usually loved looking out for.

"Do you remember where my office was?" The captain spoke.

"Hnn." Ichigo nodded coolly. Byakuya placed both of his hands on his sister's shoulders and gently pushed her towards Ichigo's arms. Ichigo, surprised, took her.

"Take her to my office, she's not able to lead herself right now. Hold her." Byakuya placed his hand on her head but spoke to Ichigo. "I need to talk to the General about who will take Abarai's place. I need a lieutenant at these times."

"Yea."

Ichigo dismissed himself and took Rukia's hand to drag her to her brother's office.

----------------

Walking with nothing to say, Ichigo looked at Rukia, who was not looking at anything. Loosing her resemblance of a child, she began to seem more like a rag doll. Dull and withdrawn, she had to be led everywhere, staring at nothing.

Rukia had no expression, and it wasn't that she was hiding them. It was that she had none. Rukia was completely blank.

Ichigo entered the office with her. He slid the door closed and sat her down on the couch in front of Kuchiki's office desk. As he was thinking about leaving her there and going home, he forced to tell himself that Rukia was in no condition to be left alone for any minute. So he turned back and sat cross-legged on the floor in front of her.

He debated whether or not she was aware what was going on. He stared into her eyes, thinking that maybe he could find her in those irises and pull her out. But they looked so deep that all he saw was pure violet.

"Unh..."

He jolted backwards in surprise, so excited and anxious she had made a sound. "R-Rukia..." Ichigo slowly stood up waiting for the girl to say more.

"Where is Nee-Sama?"

"He is talking with Yamamoto."

There was an interval of a silent seconds

"...Souka."

There was more silence, and Ichigo prayed desperately that Rukia would say something quick. He was afraid that if she didn't keep in contact with anybody, she would get lost in the memories she had been thawing out of the past, and they wouldn't be able to find her. Talking was the only sign of contact she had with the world right now. And it was such a touble finding her out of those deep colored eyes.

"Are you well, Rukia?"

Ichigo waited as Rukia pressed the back of her hand to her mouth.

"Yes. Arigatou."

The fifteen-year-old boy hesitated as he decided to leave, taking little steps to the door.

"I'll see you later then."

Rukia suddenly turned to Ichigo, latching eye to eye. She looked surprise, and then analyzed him for a long while. Eventually, she whispered, in the same tone she could have used as if she had figured out a brilliant plan.

"Yea."

Ehh, my first fanfiction in two years. Can you believe? Yea. I actually think it's a little dry. I need JUIIIIIICCEEEE!! Oh well. Review in any type of way you want. Flames are well-appreciated. So is criticism. Thanks!