Only Me and You
The darkness of the room was what welcomed Leah when she opened her eyes that morning. It wasn't surprising since it was still very early, the sun had barely risen from the horizon. Everyone in the house would most probably be soundly asleep at this hour. She would have been, too, if only she hadn't woken up. But it's a good thing she had.
She removed the blanket wrapped around her body and set it aside, then slowly, she sat up on her bed. She brushed the strands of hair that matted on her slightly damp forehead. Her other hand she put on her chest, feeling the fast beating of her heart against it.
She looked at her surroundings – whatever her eyes could make out in the darkness – and sighed heavily, relieved to find herself back in the four walls of her bedroom. It was just a dream, she repeated in her head. She shut her eyes tightly as her breathe came in ragged. A very bad dream.
When she was calm enough from the initial fear after waking up, the memory of her dream came flooding her mind. The images were so fresh and vivid and she could feel the horror of it washing through her system again. She tried to concentrate but the dream really scared the wits out of her. She suddenly felt cold inside and out. Her body was slightly trembling too. She didn't want to think about it but it bothered her so much, the content of her dream was just too hard to ignore.
She looked at the clock on her nightstand, it read 4:37 AM. It was very early to go out of bed and she was dead tired physically, not to mention the emotional exhaustion she felt because of her dream. But she didn't want to go back to sleep, for fear that her bad dream will continue where it left off. She lied back down on her bed, not bothering to pull the covers, but instead of closing her eyes, she let her mind drift off to her dream. It made her extremely uncomfortable, but ironically, she wanted to think more of it.
Never once, in the whole time she had known Sam, did it occur to her that she would be separated from him. From when they were nine, they had been each other's enemy, neighbor, crush, classmate, playmate, partner-in-crime, best friend, love interest. They had done everything together; played together, go to school together, laughed together, go to Prom together, cried together, made dreams and promises together. The beginning of her life wasn't the day she was born. It was when Sam had first walked into her life. So for Leah, her whole life basically had Sam in it. He was a routine, a part of her that can't be taken away. Not by anyone. She didn't think that part of her life would be changed, ever.
Which led to her being so caught off guard and fearful about dreaming of Sam with another woman. The woman had no identity in her dream, but she would definitely know if it's her, and she knew it wasn't. They were laughing in her dream, cuddled up to each other, while she looked on. She could've ran to them and yank Sam away from the unknown girl, but she didn't. Now that she's awake, she wished she did snatch Sam away, but then again, after thinking more into the dream, she had a feeling that the Leah in the dream can't do it. She didn't know why, but she was suddenly certain that in the dream, she just couldn't do something like that. It was like, the scene in front of her was something that is just right.
Her arms automatically wrapped around herself as her body curled up slightly on her bed.
Then as the dream progressed, the two weren't laughing anymore, instead, they were smiling while gazing tenderly at each other's eyes. They seemed to be communicating through their eyes, but they seemed to understand each other better than anyone else could. They looked good together too. There was something about them she can't seem to put a finger on. She couldn't even describe what it was. It was like seeing the word Destiny come to life.
Her heart ached at the thought, and it seemed she wasn't breathing enough air into her lungs although she was breathing really heavily. A strange fear crept its way to her system. It was something very close to feeling unsure. It was a new thing for Leah, considering her life was beautiful and protected, and everything seemed so certain. Everything is well, and nothing seems to go wrong. And then this dream happens, making her feel fear and uncertainty for the first time. She knew it was an overreaction, it was just a dream. It's just that, for years, Sam was hers and hers only, they were happy and in love, so to see him in the arms of someone else, even if it's just a dream, she can't help but be greatly shaken.
She pulled the pillow from under her head and hugged it tightly to herself, as if crushing the pillow in her arms will give her comfort and ease the pain in her heart. Her face crumpled as she cried her heart out, silently. For the first time in her life, in her beautiful, worry-free life, Leah felt alone and scared. Losing Sam never crossed her life before, and it doesn't seem to happen anywhere in the future, but now that she knows it's possible, it became her greatest fear. She doesn't know what to do if she'll lose him. Maybe she'll lose herself too. Maybe she'll die; emotionally, definitely; physically, likely, due to excessive emotional pain. She doesn't want to imagine what life would be then, if ever there will be life after.
She decided to stop rewinding the dream in her head. It hurts too much to think. It didn't even happen in real life. The image of Sam came into her mind, and again, her heart constricted at the new pain that enveloped her heart. Her Sam… He is hers, he had given his whole self to her, and just the same, she was his. They belong to each other. There's no other place they'd rather be, except in each other's arms. There's no way that can change so abruptly… or ever, right?
"My heart is always yours, Leah."
"I will always be beside you, Leah."
"I love you, Lee-Lee!"
"We'll always be, until the end. Let's promise that now, here, together, and to each other, so it has better chances of coming true."
"It is you, Leah. Always… Remember that."
"Don't doubt my love. When you do, always remember what I have always been telling you, 'I love you.' If you feel yourself doubting, just come back to those words, even if you don't believe them, those words will stay forever…
…So no matter if you doubt, the truth is my love is here to stay. And I will be here… Always, to keep this promise."
Another tear escaped her eyes as she remembered Sam's words for her. They had always been sweet, and assuring. Never once did she doubt his love for her. Sam didn't give her a chance to. Because he had always kept his promise, he had always been there for her, with her.
But what if Sam really does fall in love with someone else? How will she take it? Will she be able to handle it? No way. More important is, can she live through it? And what if he already had, he just doesn't want to tell her because he was afraid of hurting her? On second thoughts, did she really want him to tell her, then watch him walk away, and move on and love somebody else, while she is stuck on the same ground forever? Or will she prefer him not voicing it out, just settling for any desperate attempt to keep him by her side..?
She shook her head frantically to clear off her thoughts. She was surprised at how far her they had taken her, and instantly felt bad. She shouldn't be thinking that way about Sam. He deserves so much more than just a doubt roused in his girlfriend because of some stupid dream. She believes in him, she really does, and she trusts his words. It was just really hard to shake off the nightmare. It was nothing old and familiar to her. The dream gave her a new experience, even though it wasn't real, and gave her new emotions she didn't know what to name, much more how to handle. She was entirely lost, and she didn't know what to make of what was unexpectedly laid for her.
I can't think straight in this state. I need to see Sam.
She decided. She couldn't just assume things. It was her dream, not Sam's. He had nothing to do with it and she has to leave him off the worries it gave her. But she still has to figure things out. She'll see him later. By then, she'll be calm enough to think things through. Besides, she also wants to see him, she really needs him this time. And she needs his assurance now more than ever.
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"… We can also build a house here in La Push, I know you don't want to get truly separated from your family. Neither do I. As much as possible I want you to be close to the people you love. And besides that, I think La Push is a good place to start over, since we grew up here, and together. This place holds every memory we have of each other… And then we will have lots of children! Little Sam's and little Leah's." Sam chuckled softly at the image he'd formed in his head, but the tenderness in his eyes while 'seeing' his future family was more profound. "I think they'll be so cute, considering you're their mother. They'd be so lucky to have you." The expression on his face was soft and he almost looked proud. "We will have a pretty good family, Leah, what do you think? And say, how many kids do you want to have?" Sam turned to her, his face beaming.
Leah blinked twice. "Um, I've always wanted a twin. The rest," she shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. You decide on that."
Sam's grin was wide and he had a glint of mischievousness in his eyes. "I decide, huh? So unless we have twins, we could always try, right?"
Leah rolled her eyes. "But if we get it right the first time, we'll have to stop."
Sam stopped short for a second, then he frowned. But the frown looked almost childish in his mature face that she can't help but laugh. Sam frowned even more, but after a while joined in on her laughter. It took a few more good laughs and some more bantering before they stopped. Sam was still smiling widely as he continued making more plans for their future, while Leah just sat there watching him.
The dream wasn't forgotten, although she tried not to think much into it, but now that she has Sam beside her, the dream had totally resurfaced.
Her eyes roamed around Sam's face as she watched it changed into different expressions, depending on the things he's imagining. She marveled in his presence at the moment, here beside her, in their favorite spot on the top of the cliff, directly above the sea below. And as she watched him, studied his every movement, memorized his every feature, pictured in her mind this scenario with him and seal the moment in her heart, she knew what it meant to her, as what every moment with him did, it was life.
Just like any ordinary day passing, today was a normal day for both of them, nothing special at all. But for Leah, it was a gift in itself. Because Sam was here with her. For years, they had been together like this, and she never thought for once that this setup would change. She had found her one place in this world, by Sam's side. She couldn't imagine herself anywhere else.
Her heart just overfills with her love for him. He is the most important for her. Others might think of her as a carefree, spirited girl who dreams of having a life as free as a bird in the sky. A woman who is not contented with a simple life, but a life full of adventures, risks, and possibilities. She's a fire, burning with so much passion for a world that is both new and challenging. She was that kind of woman. Sam knows that and even supports her in her decisions. For others, she doesn't belong to just La Push, she is out to venture in some other world, a world where her dynamic personality can be at its fullest. But what others, even Sam himself, don't know is that those things are just bonuses for her. She already attained the life she wanted, almost. Her greatest dream is to be with Sam forever. It doesn't even matter where, or how their life is.
Then something just snapped into her. True, her dream was frightening. And at the moment, she was still disturbed by it. Still, it was just a dream, probably her unconscious making her aware of her greatest fear, and telling her she should not be too confident of their unseemingly changing relationship. Even though she was certain that Sam loves her so much, a lot of things can happen, and people can change. Losing Sam seems a far away thing, but possible. And she would not risk it.
Thinking about the dream, she vows to herself that she will do whatever it takes to keep him. No, she won't do anything extraordinary like go out of her way just to please him or make him happy. That would make her concern obvious and instead of keeping the relationship, it might just create problems between them. Besides, Sam loves her already exactly as she is. Instead of changing herself, she'll just try to improve her personality. Little things like being less demanding, more patient and understanding, less accusatory – although she's not really that kind of person, but whatever –, more loving and caring. She'll even level down her pride for him, taking the blame when they fight over things, and apologizing first even if it's not her fault. Anything to save and keep her relationship – even though it's not like her to go to such extreme since it's usually Sam who does that – she'll do it. She will love him, as much as he loves her. Maybe even more. And she won't even say anything about it.
She decided not to tell Sam of her worry. He did nothing to deserve a doubt. He had done everything he could for her, proven her how many times he loves her. And she'll hold on to that promise. She'll believe in him when he said that his love would stay forever. She'll love him too, to the farthest her love can take her. She'd do everything, give everything, for him. She'll only stop, when she stops loving him. Rough translation: Never.
Taking the dream in a new perspective, she now feels a little thankful for the dream. She will not think about it, or try not to. She won't let it control her actions and feelings. But she won't try to forget it, instead she'll keep it in the back of her head, let it become a motivating factor for her to fight for her feelings for him. Her dream is probably a challenge to test her trust for Sam, and how much she loves him to be able to go at such extents to have him stay by her side forever. If that is so, she won't let it ruin anything Sam had earned from her. He loves her, of that she was certain. No other person can take away what they have now. No one can take away Sam from her.
She will fight for him, she would do everything she has to do. Because she just could not lose Sam. Not in this lifetime, probably not ever.
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I just had a dream that you were far away
And that someone else was in your arms today
Though I know it's just a dream
Still my fear is so extreme
Coz I know that dreams can sometimes be so true
And I'd be blue
Then I told myself I'd always stay the same
Even if you hurt me I would take the blame
You are all I'm living for
I would love you even more
I would keep the pain inside my door
It's enough for me that I have come to love you, I see
Because the heart I have could only want you
I just want you to remember
Even if it takes forever
I would wait until the world is through
When all that's left it only me and you…
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A/N: First Twilight fanfic ^^ And it's Sam Leah. Not the most famous Twilight couple, but who cares? I love them! I really think Sam should end up with Leah! I'm not a hater of Meyer or anyone, oops, but there's one, I hate imprinting! I hate imprinting just as much as Jacob did before he imprinted on Nessie.. Imprinting is stupid and sucky and shitty -_- I don't think it's true love at all, I think it's more of destiny. Destiny without a choice. Maybe Sam was meant for Emily, but what can destiny do if a person's heart chooses who it wants to love? Grrr… -_- Stupid imprinting!
Anyway, this fic was inspired by the song Only You and Me by Donna Cruz. If you're not a Filipino, then most likely you won't know it :) It's a pretty old song but I was listening to it just recently and it gave me an idea for Leah's story… But as I've always done on my previous oneshots, I deviated a little from my original plot that's why it doesn't always end up the way I wanted it to. I was planning to insert the lyrics part by part in the story, but I don't know where it would best fit, so I just gave up the idea and just put the whole lyrics below, just for reference… You might want to listen to it, just for inspiration :) And yeah, I really wanted to write happy ending fics for Leah since Meyer didn't give her one, nor the writers of the fanfics I've read… Although I wasn't sure how this fic would turn out, AND obviously, I failed… XD Oneshot? Really? Haha, let's see… Please review! THANKIES! ^^