Disclaimer: JK Rowling is a genius in her own right. Someone who can unite the old, young and middle-aged to love a singular thing such as Harry Potter and his magical world deserve all credit that can possibly be given. Most of the characters mentioned in this fan fiction as well as most of the places are hers.
In the following chapter only the place Pickleton Alley, lung soothers Lung-a-laytors, the pub Cavalcade Cavern Cave (CCC) and the character Professor Reinman can I claim to be my own.
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
The New DADA: Professor Rineman
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Taste of CH 1: Hogwarts needs a new DADA professor and Headmaster Dumbledore must find someone to take the position. Also Dumbledore discovers something that is truly worrying……….. he is getting older…….
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
CHAPTER 1: The Annoyance of Getting Older
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Dumbledore sighed as hard as he could. For some reason his lungs seemed a bit clogged up this morning. He looked out his tower window and what did he see? An owl. That's right, just another darn owl. It's amazing where people like himself can find inspiration.
Because that scrawny little owl, who had randomly flown up to Dumbledore's window and was randomly identified as Pig, inspired Dumbledore to get out of his extremely large purple bed, take off his extremely woolly socks and actually do something about those lungs of his. He was going to now have to go out to buy those Lung-a-laytors to soothe his lungs.
And while he was at it he might as well shop for a new DADA professor. Hogwarts was running extremely low on the stock of could-be and would-be DADA professors. Only one place to find those weirdos that he'd scraped up for the last few years. There was a lot more where they came from. Barring of course the wonderful Professor Remus Lupin who was a great catch. Too bad he had to turn out to be a werewolf though.
And why not stock up on his store of Lemon Drops……… oooh, he might get a few of those gummy-bear things while he was at it too……..
But first, couldn't go to Pickleton Alley without some sort of disguise. He had to look his best for London as well as avoid that nosey, stomach churning Cornelius Fudge.
Just as well he was the master of Transfiguration……….
And with a pompous twirl of his right index finger there appeared a graceful 30-something year-old man with a bushy infestation of hair covering his whole face. Would have been mistaken for Hagrid if he made himself grow a little taller. Thankfully where he was going no one knew Hagrid.
Seemingly satisfied with the image before his mirror, with a quick flick of his left pinkie, he disappeared.
********
Only to appear an hour later in the Cavalcade Cavern Cave, or the CCC.
"Bats and bears!" He cursed under his breath. "I've got to do something about this taking-a-long time business. I have to figure out a way to stop growing old!"
Only to realise he'd walked out wearing his pyjamas. Being old affected his mind terribly. So he decided to 'borrow' the large shaggy cloak pegged up near the entrance to the CCC before sidling out into the crisp white snow.
********
Professor Snape's appeal to become the next DADA professor materialised on Dumbledore's desk a minute too late. If it had come a minute earlier he would have finally achieved what he wanted. Poor professor, he always got the timing wrong.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Author's Note: Please review because I'm just warming up my typing fingers and am trying to do something different. Instead of packing my story with hardcore emotion (which I love) I'm trying to write one that is different. Maybe I might make the story be told from the different points of views of people at Hogwarts. I'll make some of them emotionally charged and some, as you will have read above, a little loony and well, weird. All constructive criticisms or (for a change) praise (yeay) is appreciated as well as mistakes that you may have found. This has been spell checked so should be okay. Suggestions are also welcomed.