She hates herself.

[7x06] : Drabble. Regina's centric. "She can't do that. She can't be the monster of the story again, be the Evil Queen again. But she has to do it, she has no other choice. And she hates herself for doing that."

She woke up, and it hurt.

Oh my god, how it hurt.

The pain she feels is terrible.

Remembering is terrible, truly, especially when she saw Drizella's smile.

Especially when she remembered everything.

Which means the worst.

Henry is her son, and Lucy is really her grand-daughter.

(That's good part of it.)

And she is Regina Mills, the one who used to be the Evil Queen.

Who will be, again, if she follows Drizella's plan.

Roni was right from the beginning, in the end, and unlike Regina who tried to help Drizella, she never trusted Ivy.

She wished she never remembered.

Because she knows what will happen.

She exactly knows the consequences of the curse being broken, and it kills her.

She can't do that. She can't be the monster of the story again, be the Evil Queen again.

But she must.

She had to be as she was before, to destroy the happy endings, and stop the curse from being broken.

She doesn't want it, oh no.

But she has to do it, she has no other choice.

She doesn't want to do that again, to destroy Henry, and break him, and stop him from being happy, as she kind of did when she tried to make him believe that he was crazy.

She talks to him then, and she sees what she always wanted to see on him, even when she was just Roni.

Happiness.

She doesn't tell him the truth, and she lies, and it's terrible, truly.

She is going to become the monster of the story again, even if the true evil monster here is Drizella.

She decides not to act against the curse, because she can do nothing else.

She smiles to him, fakes, just pretends that everything is normal, and that nothing strange happened during the day.

She doesn't tell him he is her son, and that his true love is Jacinda, that is to say Cinderella, that Lucy is his daughter.

That they are his family – that she is his family.

And she hates herself for doing that.