Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. The song is "Muskrat Love" by Captain & Tennille.
A/N: So, I can say that I'm definitely happy with the reviews these stories have been getting. I love all of you and all the things you have to say. This is the last story in this "series" I have planned for right now but if anyone has any ideas then feel free to send them in. As promised, this story is about Marissa and Ryan; I hope it makes everyone smile at least a little, because that's the purpose. So, keep up those great reviews, thanks a lot!
Ever since she was a little girl, Marissa Cooper had found herself dependant on a little midnight snack. It had started when she was four years old and her father had sat up with her one night after she'd had a nightmare, splitting a piece of chocolate cake with her and it had developed into a nightly comforting ritual. And now, halfway to Tijuana, Marissa found that she needed comfort more then anything else right now.
Silently, she slipped off the stained, foldout mattress, being careful not to wakeup Ryan, who was being the perfect gentleman and sticking to his side of the bed. Seth and Summer were asleep as well, sharing the only actual bed in the motel, with Summer sprawled out as usual, taking up the entire mattress.
No one stirred when she got up and Marissa grabbed her purse off the chipped coffee table, heading for the door. The vending machines were a few doors down from their own and she figured she could get there and back before anyone even thought about waking up.
Marissa slipped out of the room and headed down the concrete hallway, which looked out into the dark parking lot. She wondered what time it was, since the streetlamps were off but she had left her watch back in the motel room. Marissa figured it must be late, since there was hardly any traffic and all the adjoining rooms were silent as well.
The trio of vending machines came into view and Marissa was reminded of her conversation with Ryan hours earlier when they had both pretended that the biggest concern on their minds had been whether to get Ding-Dongs or Cheese Sticks. There had been so much she had wanted to say to him but none of it had come out.
Marissa sighed. She wished that the biggest concern on her mind had to do with Ryan and Cheese Sticks but there was so much more that she had to worry about now. Her parents were getting a divorce and her father wasn't even going to be at the house when she got back from Mexico. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she tried to push those thoughts away, looking at the cache of food behind the glass wall of the vending machine. Marissa didn't want to think about how things were going to change now that her father was going to be gone; no more late night trips to the kitchen, eating Julie Cooper's cookies and cream ice cream and promising not to tell. No more lazy Saturday mornings sitting on the couch eating soggy cereal and watching the same Road Runner and Coyote cartoon they had both seen some many times before. No more time just being daddy's little girl.
Tears dropped down her cheeks and Marissa didn't even bother to wipe them away. How could this happen? She was supposed to have the perfect life. How had things turned out this way?
"I thought you didn't like Ding-Dongs." Ryan's sudden appearance and voice caused Marissa to jump and drop her purse. She sniffed, wiping at her tears but she didn't look up at him. "What are you doing out here?"
Marissa bent to retrieve her purse. "I was just getting something to eat." She muttered, standing and looking at him. She knew right away that Ryan could tell that she had been crying, especially since she couldn't seem to stop the tears that still trickled past her eyelids and onto her cheeks.
Ryan looked concerned. "Marissa, what's the matter?" He questioned, stepping closer to her. "Are you all right?"
"No, I'm not." Marissa sniffed, wiping away her tears but unable to brush away her pain. "But I don't want to talk about it."
Ryan didn't seem to get her verbal message. "Is it about your father?" He asked and Marissa looked down at the ground. "I know what it's like to lose a dad but at least your dad is still going to be around."
Marissa couldn't look at the bright side like Ryan seemed to want her to do. "Ryan, I'm not ready to talk about it now."
Ryan sighed and actually managed a slight smile. "I bet I can make you smile Marissa." He said suddenly and Marissa was almost caught off guard by his words. What a random thing to say at one in the morning standing outside a Mexican motel with tears streaming down her cheeks.
"I don't think so." Marissa sniffed, wiping at her eyes again. She didn't feel much like smiling right now...or ever again for that matter.
Ryan took a step closer to her and for a moment, Marissa thought that he was going to kiss her. But instead of kissing her -which she did have to admit would make her feel better- Ryan starting singing, very poorly and off-key but singing nonetheless. Marissa recognized the song right away as one of those silly little songs that her father had often sung her to sleep with when she was a little girl.
"Muskrat, Muskrat candle light." Ryan attempted to sing, his deep voice seeming to fumble over the notes. "Doing the town and doing it right in the evening."
Marissa stared at him with wide eyes; she would have never thought that Ryan, the tough kid from Chino, would be capable of singing "Muskrat Love." Yet here he was, serenading her by the vending machines and Marissa couldn't help but see the romance in the situation.
"Muskrat Suzie and Muskrat Sam do the jitterbug in Muskrat Land." Ryan continued, wiggling his eyebrows to complete the humorous picture, trying to get Marissa to smile like he had promised to do.
Just like it always had when she had been a kid, the thought of two muskrats doing the jitterbug and a nightclub filled with other muskrats got to Marissa and a smile spread across her face. Ryan stopped singing and grinned as well. "See, I told you I could make you smile."
Marissa rolled her eyes. "Well, you are standing beside a vending machine singing about muskrats in a wife-beater so that really just completed the picture." She relented. "Besides, can you imagine two little muskrats dancing together?" She smiled again.
Ryan looked like he was trying to imagine the picture that had made Marissa laugh. "Well, I don't actually know what a muskrat looks like." He informed her. "But if they look anything like the rats that used to live in our trashcans then I guess it would be pretty funny."
Marissa nodded but the picture had worn off and she was reminded once again of another thing that was going to change now that her father was going to be moving out of the house; though Jimmy Cooper had stopped singing her to sleep -or she had stopped letting him- when she was seven, that thought that he wasn't going to be able to was even to make her heart break again. Marissa sniffed and more tears slipped out of her eyes and onto her cheeks.
"So I guess my song wasn't that funny." Ryan said once he saw that Marissa had started to cry again.
"No, it's not that." Marissa assured him, sniffing and wiping her eyes. "It's just that my father used to sing that song when my sister and I were little."
Ryan frowned. "Marissa, I had no idea." He took another step toward her. "If I had known...I'm sorry."
Marissa shook her head. "It's not your fault." She wiped at her eyes again. "You really did help a lot, Ryan. Thanks. I don't know many other guys that would sing 'Muskrat Love' for me just to make me smile."
Ryan rested his hand on her shoulder and Marissa surprised herself by leaning her head against his chest, it just seemed so natural. "It's no problem." He assured her, pulling her a little closer to him. "Looks like muskrat love." He continued, trying to hit a semi-high note but his voice cracked before he could get halfway there.
Marissa smiled and shut her eyes, trying not to admit to herself how nice and safe it felt being against Ryan's chest. For that moment, she honestly believed that he would keep anything bad from happening to her ever again. Ryan said her name but she didn't move, didn't open her eyes, didn't want to remember all the things that would be waiting for her when she did.
Finally, Ryan pulled away from her and Marissa opened her eyes, a little shocked and hurt by his actions, looking up at him. "I think we should go back into the room." He muttered, looking down at the ground to avoid seeing the emotion in her eyes.
"Why?" Marissa questioned, though she felt a little foolish for asking. Why not? It was the middle of the night and they were standing outside in front of vending machines; it seemed like the smart thing to do to go inside. But Marissa didn't want to do the smart thing, didn't want to leave this moment.
Ryan looked at her. "Before I do something that I shouldn't." He answered, looking in her eyes for a moment.
Marissa leaned closer to him. "Like this?" She kissed him lightly and Ryan pulled away before she had the chance to deepen the kiss.
"Marissa..." Ryan seemed to be fighting for an excuse, anything to keep him from giving in to something that would turn into trouble later. "What about Luke?" He muttered finally.
"Luke didn't sing 'Muskrat Love' to me to make me smile." Marissa answered and leaned forward again. This time Ryan didn't have any excuses and their lips met and he didn't do anything to stop it. Marissa wrapped her arms around his waist and he threaded his fingers through her hair and the moment seemed so perfect that she never wanted it to end. Being with Luke had never been this perfect, this complete and Marissa felt like she was getting her first kiss.
When the kiss was finally broken, Ryan and Marissa locked eyes for a moment, as though unsure of what was supposed to happen next. Finally, a slow grin spread across Ryan's lips and he whispered, "Doing the jitterbug in Muskrat Land." Marissa smiled as well and swatted him lightly on the shoulder.
"You sure do know how to ruin the moment, Ryan Atwood." She muttered but she didn't feel as though the moment had been ruined. She leaned her head against his chest again, a smile still on her face.
Ryan made her lift her head again. "Well, we'll have to do something about that then." He whispered and kissed her again. Marissa closed her eyes and let everything float away again.
This is how it's supposed to be, she thought to herself. Perfect, love is supposed to be perfect. She hadn't felt that way with Luke, not even when they had slept together. But things were different with Ryan; he made her feel different, made her feel like everything was going to be perfect no matter what. And Marissa knew that he would always make her feel that way, whether she was with Luke or not. Why couldn't things always be this perfect? Why did things have to be so complicated; why couldn't they just be together?
Finally, the kiss was broken again and Ryan looked at her. "We should get back to the room, it's getting late." Marissa nodded in agreement. It was getting late and in spite of everything -or perhaps because of it- she was exhausted.
Marissa's quest for a midnight snack forgotten, Ryan and Marissa headed back toward their motel room, hand in hand.