Voila! All nice and spell-checked! Except for "inofficial". It's supposed to be that way.

Hogwarts Inofficial Rulebook

1: You are not allowed to slip a gold ring on your finger while simultaneously going through the barrier at platform 9 and 3/4 and vanishing from sight.

2: Toads are a bad idea to have on a train.

3: You are not allowed to bring a dementor costume for Halloween.

4: Under no circumstances are you allowed to refer to Voldemort as "Baldy".

5: Even if he is.

5: You are not allowed to replace Voldemort's pet Nagini with a common garter snake.

6: It is a bad idea to challenge a Basilisk to a staring contest. You will lose.

7: You may not slap a saddle on a Hungarian Horntail's back, jump on, and yell "Giddyup, horsey!".

8: Living Shrouds are not cloaks.

9: You may not jump on the back of one of the carriage-pulling thestrals while there are people in the carriage and make the thestral fly.

10: Calling a centaur "Foaly" is probably not a good idea.

11: You are not allowed to propose to Lord Voldemort with the One Ring.

12: You are not to threaten Snape with shampoo.

13: You are not allowed to hang Mrs. Norris from the wall by her ankles with Filch's old torture instruments.

14: Do not confuse Aragorn, Eragon, and Aragog. Ever.

15: Pretending to cut off Nearly Headless Nick's head with the Sword of Gryffindor will not amuse him.

16: Do not ask Professor Lupin why his wolf form has barely any fur.

17: Do not give Professor Lupin a collar as a Christmas or birthday present.

18: Do not walk Gilderoy Lockhart up to a Basilisk and tell him: "Look it straight in the eyes and say 'Cheese'!"

19: Do not approach Professor Lupin with a leash.

20: Do not bring a Twilight vampire to visit Professor Lupin.

21: Do not sprinkle glitter on Draco Malfoy, dye his hair, and call him Edward.

22: Offering Nearly Headless Nick a platter of gourmet food will not amuse him.

23: Do not replace Professor McGonagall's plate of food at breakfast with a can of Fancy Feast.

24: Do not sell Mrs. O'Leary to Hagrid.

25: Do not give Grawp a pet guppy.