This fic is dedicated to squirrelyFandom for her birthday, a very happy birthday to you Ash! So here we go then, I'll try to make this good.
Author: Jani
Pairing: Dave x Eridan
Rating: M for sexual themes
Warning: This is boy x boy love, the charaters are somewhat OOC, and it is a rare pairing that doesn't make any sense based on homestuck since I'm aware that these two have just about no interaction. That being said, please don't flame.
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters.
xXx You Found Me xXx
Eridan woke up to the feel of slender fingers tracing circles on his bare stomach lightly, the soft digits colder than his skin, but not by much. As his eyes fluttered open, he caught a glimpse of blond hair out of the corner of his eye. Dave, on the bed next to Eridan, was equally topless but had his shades on nonetheless.
Allowing himself to bask in the gentle feeling of Dave's fingers a little longer, Eridan did nothing more to acknowledge that he was awake. He said nothing to Dave in fact, in hopes that the other would assume he was stll asleep. The blond boy knew Eridan was awake of course; all those years of being raised in the Strider household had heightened Dave's senses considerably.
"Morning Sunshine," Dave murmured, ceasing his finger circling and sitting up. Eridan growled and opened his eyes in response to Dave's taunting words.
"Shut up, Strider," He said, sitting upward as well. Dave smirked; what Eridan had meant to be insulting didn't bother him in the slightest. This was a typical morning for them, first it was quiet, then came the bickering, usually followed by either food, or an activity they mutually enjoyed. Eridan didn't think much of it, they had been together for about a year now. However, something about that day made him contemplative; just one of those days where he felt the need to think about his life and the things going on.
In the past though, when he thought about his life he could always find things he didn't like, things that were wrong. There was Feferi, she had always been there, but as it turned out, while he wanted to advance their relationship, she wanted to take it a step down. Looking back on it though, she didn't really need to cut him out completely like she had. It had hurt. Eridan's image of Feferi was shattered that day; he had never known her to stoop so low. But with time he had gotten over it, she was only one person. No longer his moiral, barely his friend, just someone that he used to know.
The thing that bothered him the most was that it wasn't really just her. No one especially liked him, not that he would ever admit that he needed them to, but she was one of his only friends. Most of the others thought he was annoying, an asshole, psychotic, or even all three. Honestly, maybe he had been. His personality wasn't fully developed, and he was in a way, unfinished. He gaurded himself with a rough outside, coming off as rude to other people most of the time. He was never a nice person. He knew that, and he could accept it. Didn't mean he was proud of it, but he understood that he wasn't Mr. Congeniality.
For awhile, all of that was okay. It didn't matter too much to him what others thought of him. But when Feferi left, after he got over the anger and sadness that occupied his mind, the reality of the situation was a tough pill to swallow. The longer he spent with no one even caring he was there, the heavier weight it was to bear on his mind. It was cold and lonely living like that. He was a person too, right? Didn't he deserve if not love, then something? It wasn't as if he asked to live like this. Sure, the personality thing was his fault, but no one gave him a chance to change. There were worse people out there, so why was it Eridan who was stuck sitting in an empty house feeling like the heavens were laughing at him? Something like, 'Look at that freak. I'd feel bad for him, but his pathetic life is just so funny!'
That was when Dave came along. He was an insufferable prick for sure, a real jackass. He and Eridan would fight and bicker all the time, it was as if they had to have verbal battles until the other died or lost their voice forever. Eridan hated Dave from the start, and it was never like one of those sappy movies where Dave's terrible personality and sick sense of humor would suddenly grow on him. It didn't. Eridan could almost consider him a kismesis if not for the lack of lust. But then at the same time, while Dave was this "cool" guy with lots of friends at his disposal, Eridan had nothing and no one. Bickering with Dave was his salvation. Someone cared enough to fight with him. That was enough then. Dave could fufill that role, be what Eridan needed in his life.
Their odd relationship on that front was the status quo for a long time. A very long time. That is, until the kiss. As was previously stated, there was no gradual, blooming love. Just a kiss from out of nowhere seemingly. Who started it? Hard to say. It just happened. From there, things could've gotten complicated, but Dave was a very uncomplicated guy. Suffice to say they still bickered past then, but at they same time they acted as fuck buddies. Except without the buddies part. By that point they were basically the definition of kismesises, at least until the type of sex changed.
You don't have to love someone to fuck them. Anyone could tell you that. When Eridan and Dave went about it, it was always cold and detached. You could tell that they fit the 'do it because they can' category. Dave always had his shades on, which said a lot. He never showed Eridan his eyes, never said anything sweet or endearing. There was rarely any conversation at all when they did it, with the exception of names being called out occasionally. Not always their names, but names nonetheless.
As it continued though, all of that changed. Eridan was hard pressed to figure out when, but he had an idea of why. He couldn't understand Dave that well then, so he lacked that insight from his arsenal, but he could recall how whatever they were doing, it made him feel wanted. The one everyone didn't care about, wanted in one way or another. He had a use, a purpose. Some kind of reason why he shouldn't just curl up and die. Even if it was hate at first, that's better than indifference. That's better than being ignored. This mindset is what caused the shift. That was Eridan's theory. That is why the sex went from doggy style to missionary, from Eridan being blindfolded to his face being revealed. That was why Dave started to take of his shades, letting his armor down.
They say that your eyes are the windows to your soul. In a way, Dave's shades had always symbolized that his soul wasn't for others to see, protected. So when he began to take them off, Eridan was surprised. Not only surprised, but flattered. This was Dave in all his glory, but not the Dave the world got to see, just Eridan's Dave.
This was where Eridan started counting. Counting the days as days together. Dave lingered around Eridan's house longer and longer, sometimes bringing his stuff in too and leaving it there, until it got to the point where the blond was basically living there, and then officially living there. They still bickered often, but the atmosphere was softened. Neither of them ever mentioned love, but that wasn't necessary.
With Dave living in the same house, Eridan began to pick up on his influence. Sure Dave was no model citizen either, but there were things that could be learned from him. Things that helped Eridan. Subtly, but he was easier to get along with because of it. Today of all days, when he thought about himself he wasn't disappointed. He wouldn't go as far as to say he liked himself, but his life was better, he was better, and it was because of Dave. He had a lot to thank the blond for really, but he wouldn't. He was confident that Dave knew.
If they could always go about mornings like this, then Eridan was okay. He felt like his life would be stable, or at least happy.
And if I keep my silence,
I hope you will understand
That words are only words*
Well, here it is then :) I hope you like it Ash :3
* The last bit of italicized words are from the poem Silent Angel
To everyone else who happens to read this, even if it was a birthday fill, I hope you like it.