Author's Musings: Heyyy guyss... *hides* sorry I've been kinda...absent. Life, a slightly bruised heart, and just a general lack of feeling inspired that has been really fuxkin annoying has gotten in the way of any kind of writing. I will say that I'm working on an..interesting crossover idea, whether it comes to fruition is still up in the air, but yeah. Also, you all should check my tumblr ( wulfgrl58fics. tumblr. com) cuz i post little headcanons and pic fics and such, stuff that doesn't make it here. OK, well, umm, yeah, here is something a little different from my usual, kind of resulted from the whole "bruised heart" situation, pre-bruising.
Dear Jane
my entire life i wrote off love
love is something for fairy tales and books
love is something other people have
not for me
not the kind of love people write poems and sing songs about
not the kind that brings people to its knees
you bring me to my knees
the thought of you
the idea of you
the flickering concept that you and i could possibly ever become "we"
makes my throat constrict
and my heart skip a beat
I wish you could feel it
the irregular pitter-patter against my chest
of an organ that now only beats for you
i spent so long thinking this kind of feeling was something i would never experience
infatuation
bordering on obsession
My whole life I've been told that I'm only allowed to want one specific type. That the reason I've never been in love is because he just hasn't come along yet. This mystery man who fits this ideal list that my family has forced me to write.
And I gave up. Gave up on finding that perfect man, and opened my mind to the possibility that my heart cannot be won with a list.
But I kept that list in the back of my mind still.
And then you came along, grabbed that list and tore it to pieces right in front of me.
You do not fit a single criteria, yet you are the person I have been waiting for.
The person who has me believing that I am capable of love. Of having romantic feelings. You.
You have turned me into a marshmallow, a sappy, mushy marshmallow, whereas before you I became distant at the mere mention of being in a relationship , now my thoughts instantly turn to you and I smile this big goofy smile and people ask me what is up and all I can say is "oh nothing " when all I want to say is "the most beautiful girl in the world thinks I'm worthy of her" but I would be assuming things and I don't like to do that. Though I hope and pray for a day where I can answer "the most beautiful girl I know is my girlfriend ".
Love,
Maura
A/M: I love reviews super super much, please?