Philip sighed into Lukas' mouth, pressing his lips against his again before leaning back into the bed as Lukas trailed kisses along his neck.
Philips hands slid up to grip the blonde's hips, fingers searching for the hem of his shirt to slip his hands up to press against the skin of Lukas' back. But as soon as his fingers brushed the others ribs Lukas flinched away, hands quickly brushing Philips off him.
Lukas took hold of Philips wrists and pinned them to the bed as he kissed his once more, and Philip couldn't say he didn't like it but something was off.
"Lukas."
"Hmmm." Philip lost his breath again as Lukas' mouth moved over his throat, teeth grazing his skin in that maddening way of his, but he needed to concentrate.
"Lukas, stop."
Lukas sighed, frustrated, and sat back, still holding Philip down as he leant over him, faces close together.
Philip raised his eyebrows and wriggled his wrists like "are you gonna let me go or what?"
Lukas made an 'Oh' sound and let go, sitting back on his haunches grumpily at the ended make out session.
"What?"
Philip reached for his shirt, frowning at him, concerned.
"What's wrong with you? You flinched like- "
His fingers had only brushed against the fabric of his shirt before Lukas jumped back, brushing Philips hands away again. Philip did not miss the way that Lukas winced at the sudden movements. Philips frown deepened.
"Are you hurt? Did you fall off your bike or something?"
Lukas wouldn't look at him, gaze flitting everywhere but his face as he answered.
"Yeah I fell off, it's just a few bruises. It's fine."
Philip wasn't buying it. He watched Lukas' face carefully, silently, until Lukas looked at him.
"What?!"
"You know I can tell when you're lying right? I thought you said you'd never lie to me."
Philip could see the moment Lukas shut himself away, his face turned from guilt and pain to a stone, unfeeling and cold.
He got up from the bed and walked out, leaving the other boy sitting alone.
"Whatever Philip."
…..
Lukas was back to normal the next day, acting as if nothing had happened, but Philip hadn't forgotten.
Lukas met Philip in the barn at Helen and Gabe's, with a bottle of whiskey he'd gotten from a kid at school.
Lukas was drinking more than Philip and that was Philips doing. Lukas would take a few swigs from the bottle, making faces at the awful tasting liquor, and would always forget to pass it to Philip unless he reminded him. So, he let him forget.
He took a few drinks himself and he would never force Lukas to drink, he just let Lukas forget he was more drunk than him.
It wasn't long before Lukas was grabbing Philip and kissing him, tasting heavily of the whiskey as his drunk clumsy hands wove fingers into Philips hair.
Philip tried to see under Lukas' shirt but the blonde kept mumbling no's and pulling his shirt back down as soon as Philip got a hold of it. Philip gave up and decided to just ask him about it once he was sober, but Lukas was suddenly sitting back, looking upset.
"I'm sorry Philip."
Philip frowned, searching Lukas' face as his blue eyes misted over.
"For what?"
"I'm sorry I hit you all those times. I was just freaking out about all of this and… I didn't want anyone to know."
Philip rubbed a hand down the boy's arm, trying to comfort him as he started to cry.
"It's okay, I forgive you."
But Lukas shook his head.
"No, I… I can't believe I hit you. I'm so sorry, Philip, I'll never hurt you again. I promise."
His eyes were full of tears as he played with Philips hair, brushing the curls back from his eyes and pecking kisses all over his face with his drunk clumsy mouth.
Philip let Lukas fret over him, still not understanding what was happening.
"It's okay, I'm not mad at you. Anymore."
Lukas pressed a sloppy kiss to Philips mouth before flopping down on the hay, laying on his back and staring up at the barn ceiling. He took Philips hand in his and started playing with his fingers.
"I just don't want to be like my dad."
Philip shook his head, wiping away the tears on Lukas' cheeks with gentle fingers. He still didn't understand he thought he may have had more of that whiskey than he thought.
"What are you talking about?"
Lukas didn't say anything, just looked at Philip. And then he understood. His eyes widened as he watched Lukas in the hay.
"Lukas, does your dad...? Did he hit you?"
The blonde looked away, tears trailing down his temples.
"Is he the one that hurt you?"
Philip leant forward and gripped the hem of Lukas' shirt. Lukas grabbed Philips wrist to stop him but it was half hearted. He started up at the ceiling before letting the other boy go, hand dropping to the floor, and allowing him to look.
There were bruises under the shirt and Philip immediately felt sober. Patches of colour were spread over his ribs, some yellowed, older, and others were the purple blue of fresh hurts.
Philip sucked in a breath and watched Lukas' damp face as he pressed careful fingers to the bones. Lukas winced and squirmed but didn't protest, his limbs were too heavy anyway.
"I think you have a broken rib. And this one's probably cracked. Did you see a doctor?"
Lukas shook his head, still staring up at the ceiling. Philip hadn't expected him to say yes. He knew what it was like, having to hide injuries. But his had always come from his mother's boyfriends and they never stayed long.
They'd hit his mum a few times but she'd let them stay for the drugs they brought home, but they were gone as soon as they ever touched Philip. Sometimes Philip would even hide it from his mum, if the boyfriend was the only one bringing any food home and they had no other options.
But to have to endure it from your only parent and hide it from everyone? Philip couldn't imagine the loneliness of that.
He felt this awful rage boil in his chest at the thought of Bo hurting Lukas. He lay on the ground beside the blonde and propped himself up on his elbow as he carded a hand through Lukas' hair.
"We should tell Helen."
Lukas met his eyes quickly, panicked.
"No! You can't, she'll take me away from him and I'll have to live with some strangers. I'd never see you again. He's my only family."
Philip quickly reassured him, knowing what it was like to be taken away from the only parent you'd ever known. His mother wasn't anything like Lukas' dad but he knew everyone thought so. Yes, she made bad choices but she never hurt him. He didn't want to do that to Lukas. And he didn't want to be separated from him.
"Okay, it's all right, I won't tell. But you have to promise me that if he does it again, or if you don't feel safe, you'll call me. I'll come over or you can come stay with me here. We don't have to tell Gabe and Helen anything but I can keep you safe. Promise me."
Lukas nodded and pressed his forehead into Philips hand as a que that he wanted Philip to keep patting his hair.
"Okay. He only does it when he drinks anyway. And it's my fault. I got a B on my last English essay. I would have studied more but, you know, the whole murder thing made it hard to concentrate. He was mad about me lying and stuff too. He loves me, he does, and he always feels bad about it afterwards, I can tell. It's just the alcohol that makes him bad."
Philip frowned, more than a little upset that Lukas thought he could ever deserve to be hit by his own father.
"You know he's not allowed to hit you, right? No matter what you do? Is this why you've been so worried about people finding out about us?"
Lukas just nodded but didn't say anything about the first part.
Philip felt something in his heart break, as he looked at this boy, and realized why it had been so hard for Lukas to accept what he felt for Philip and what Philip felt for him. He had been taught that control and fear was love. He had never known the softness of it without the hurt. But he was learning, with Philip, he was learning that love was soft and unconditional. It didn't come with requirements or ultimatums. He was also learning that he deserved it.
But Philip didn't think Lukas knew that he was changing, or that we was teaching Philip those things too.
Lukas sighed and then smiled, looking up at Philip, pulling their clasped hands to sit on his chest.
"One day though, it won't matter. We can finish school and get our own place. Or I can go on tour with my biking circuit and you could come with me."
Philip smiled and bent down to kiss the drunk boy.
"Yeah, some day."
And with that Lukas was happy again, wanting to cuddle in the hay and fall asleep with his arms around Philip.
Philip had woken up the next morning, wrapped in Lukas as the blonde whispered kisses into his skin. Good morning kisses and cuddles in the hay as the suns light filled the barn lit Philips heart on fire and he had never felt happier in his life.
Lukas kissed him goodbye and biked back to his place before his dad woke up and noticed him gone. And that's when Philip remembered their conversation. He couldn't do nothing. He couldn't let Lukas go back to a house he was afraid to live in.
So, after school he went to that house, knowing Lukas was out training on his bike, and knocked on the door.
Bo answered, his expression immediately turning sour when he saw who it was.
"I thought I'd told you to stay away from my boy."
Philip couldn't help but be intimidated by this man but he remembered the bruises on Lukas' chest, the broken ribs, the sadness in his eyes, and held that anger inside him and used it as courage.
"I know what you did to Lukas."
The man squinted his eyes and went to close the door but Philip slammed his hand down on the wood and forced it back open. He looked straight into the eyes of this monster and refused to back down.
"The bruises? Yeah, he wouldn't tell me where they were from but I knew it was you."
He wanted to protect Lukas as much as he could and so he didn't say anything about Lukas telling him the truth, knowing that could often make the situation worse.
"Did you know you broke some of his ribs? What's it like to feel your only child's bones break under your hands?"
Bo's eyes widened though he tried to look angry but Philip could tell he was scared. The rage still burned through his chest and it lit fire in his eyes as he continued, voice raised.
"It's usually the alcohol that makes you do it right? You drink a little and then a little more and your kids making you angry over something small and then suddenly your son is cowering under you, begging his own father to stop hitting him!"
Philip was shouting now, every ounce of hatred that he had for this man pouring out at once.
Bo's voice shook, though he tried to disguise it.
"What happens in this house is none of your business-"
Philip interrupted, his voice commanding attention.
"No, I think it is. Because I care about Lukas, apparently more than you ever will so if I see another mark on him, if you even so much as touch him again I will go straight to the Sheriff and tell her everything. You know the Sheriff, my foster mother? Yeah, she really likes Lukas so you better stop the drinking and become the best approximation of a decent parent as you can manage or you'll never see Lukas again."
Bo looked Philip up and down, disgust evident in the curl of his lip.
"If they take Lukas away you'll never see him again either."
Philip knew this but he held his chin high and started the man down.
"Yes. But I care about him enough to do anything to keep him safe."
Philip reveled in the fear and defeat in the monster's eyes and let go of the door.
"Lukas gets home in about an hour. I'd get rid of that whiskey in the cabinet before then if I were you."
…..
Philip texted Lukas that night, as he lay in bed, heart still thumping rapidly from the encounter with the elder Waldenbeck.
Hey, you good? U safe at home?
Lukas replied quickly, phone screen lighting up Philips room as he smiled at the txt.
Yeah dad was acting all nice I was kinda worried he'd been drinking but the bottles gone from the cupboard. Weird. But good.
Philip smiled at his screen again, closing his messages to look at his lock screen; Lukas smiling at the camera, his eyes scrunched as he laughed, while Philip kissed his cheek.
Yeah weird.