Burden
By: Sakura Lena Yuy
Disclaimer: I do not own the character of Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan
Warnings: Trauma, Dark Undertones.
Again.
It had happened again.
Mikasa felt the tears roll down her face and there was a terrible numbness that encased her. The news she received was something she couldn't deal with at the moment. How could she be so careless, how could she let this happen to her again? She cupped her abdomen and the tears began to intensify.
"Not again," she whispered to herself.
The first time Mikasa hadn't known of her pregnancy. She had gone on a recon mission with her squad and took a nasty fall. She had felt a sharp pain and then the bleeding began. The surprise had been minimal and the lost wasn't so painful. Mikasa cried for one night and decided it was for the best. They could always try again.
The second time Mikasa knew of her pregnancy for a month. She made sure to not take any recon missions. She was handling some paperwork for the Lance Corporal while he was away on a mission when she felt a familiar pain and then the bleeding began. She was comforted with the fact that most woman tend to miscarry during their first trimester but the lost was a bit more painful. Mikasa cried for a week and then decided thing happen for a reason. They could always try again.
The third time Mikasa knew of her pregnancy for three months. She took great pains not to push her body. She managed training sessions from afar, stayed off her horse, wrote reports, and sought help whenever she felt things were too strenuous. She was walking down the corridor to the mess hall when the dreaded pain arrived and the bleeding began. She found little comfort this time and anger took over that night her knuckles were bruised and his lip bled. Mikasa cried for a month and then decided they will not try again.
Mikasa wiped the tears from her face and dipped her face deep into her scarf. She walked straight to him to tell him the news she didn't want to bring.
The door looked so large and scary. She had stood in front of this door with the same news over and over again. She knew he would be on the other side waiting for her, full of worry and concern that only she could see in his stoic features. Mikasa knew she didn't need to knock but she did so anyway. When she heard his familiar voice she opened the door.
The Lance Corporal immediately stood up upon seeing her at the doorway. Mikasa instantly saw the dark circles in his eyes as he rushed up to her.
"Sit down," he commanded.
Mikasa shook her head in disagreement.
Levi's face hardened, "Now."
Mikasa sighed and took a seat in the chair that faced his desk. Levi leaned against his desk directly in front of her and looked down at her as she cupped her abdomen once again.
"Again," he sighed.
The tears began to roll down her face once again. "I'm sorry," she pleaded.
"Why are you crying," Levi asked as he tilted her chin so he could look in her eyes, "we still don't know the fate of this one yet."
Mikasa's tears intensified, "I don't want to lose this one too."
Levi wrapped his arms around her and let her cry into his chest. "And even if we do this is not your burden to bear alone."