KEFKA'S GAY LOVE SHACK
One day, Kefka demolished Tzen, and made a gay bar there. It was
fine for awhile, with regular visitors such as Umaro and Gau, but five
weeks passed, and it was time for Kefka to pay the taxes on his bar.
On a fine afternoon, as Kefka was making some tea for his pet
malboro, Francis, he heard a knock at the door of his tower.
"IRS! I'm here to make you pay your taxes! You're overdue!" the
voice on the other side of the door shouted.
"Imagine that!" Kefka gasped. "The master of this world, having to
pay taxes! I guess there's just no escaping the internal revenue
service, even in a world where it doesn't exist!" He put the pitcher
on the window sill, and answered the door. On the other side, he saw
a lovely man with great abs and pecs. He had long, silver hair, and a
ridiculously long sword stuffed in his belt. Lastly, he had the
"eyes"...the mako eyes. This was an irresistable thing for Kefka (in
fact, the death of Zack was truly induced by Kefka's obscene humping,
not at Sephiroth's blade.)
Kefka immediately ran up to Sephiroth and planted kisses all over
him.
"Eww! Quit it, fag!" Sephiroth screamed, pushing his fruity
adversary away.
"Don't make me cry," Kefka said, as he broke out in tears. "We are
soul mates, Sephiroth, and don't you forget!"
Seven Months Later...
On this fine day, kefka was sitting in his favorite rocking chair,
with Francis at his feet, purring like a kitten. he was watching his
favorite soap opera, All My Espers, and knitting a tentacle cozy for
his faithful malboro. He glanced at the TV, and noticed a man with long
hair, which reminded him of Sephiroth.
"I miss that cute Sephiroth!" Kefka whined.
Just as he heard this, he heard someone knocking on the door of his tower.
"Who is it? Is it you, Sephie?" Kefka asked. Kefka opened the door, and who was on the other side, but Locke Cole, the door-to-door salesthief!
"Call me a doo-to-door treasure hunter, or I'll rip your lungs out, ya damn narrator!", Locke shouted at the narrator.
I'm sorry, noble door-to-door treasue hunter. Anyway...
"Can I interest you in a sex toy?" asked Locke, holding up a blow up doll.
"Yes. You have the one I want." Kefka answered.
"And what one is that?" Locke asked.
"You!" Kefka shouted, grabbing Locke by the shoulders.
Locke puked and ran away.
"Waaaah!" Kefka cried. "Love has left me again! That's it! From this day forward, I vow to find Sephiroth, and make him my own personal playground!"
After searching the world and getting 13 Lv. ups...
"Aah. Nothing like fishing, huh buddy?" Sephiroth asked Cloud as he cast his line.
"Say, can ya hand me a Bud?" Cloud asked. "I promised Tifa I wouldn't drink, but Barrett says I'm whipped.
"That's okay. Red XIII says the same thing about me, and I'm not even married." Sephiroth grunted, handing Cloud a can of beer.
"K'ya ha ha! It looks like Scarlet an' me are the only ones making smart descisions these days!", Heidegger cackled.
"Oh, yeah, like Scarlet ever lets you make any of the descisions!" Cloud said, mocking him. "Why did we bring him along?" he asked Sephiroth.
"I dunno. I'll fix it." Sephiroth answered. "Eat SuperNova, you damn horse!" he shouted, casting SuperNova on Heidegger, killing him instantly. "M'wa ha ha ha!!!"
"Sephie, my hubby!" kefka shouted, jumping into the boat.
Sephiroth fainted and Kefka raped him. When he woke up, he ws strapped to the wall of Kefka's bedroom, between the whips and dildos.
"Prepare to fulfill my wildest dreams, bubby!" Kefka shouted, in his tighty whities.
"Oh my god...I mean Oh My Me! No one deserves this! Not even Al Gore!" sephiroth shouted.
Suddenly, the tower started quaking and the Highwind appeared. Terra, Locke, and Cloud jumped down from the deck.
"Eww! A girl!" Kefka killed Terra. Locke attacked Kefka with "Jump", and Cloud drank Francis' tea.
"Behave, baby!" Kefka mimed Austin Powers.
"Now you quit that, you pansy!" Locke yelled.
"Waaaaah, Ricky! I want Sephiroth!" cried Kefka.
Kefka was frenching Sephiroth when Cid jumped down to help. When Cid saw kefka humping Sephiroth's limp body, his cigarette fell out of his mouth.
"Eww! Shit! That's fucked up!, Cid shouted.
"Ooh, another pretty man!" Kefka chimed.
Cid pulled out his speanr and jammed it into Kefka's chest, causing him to bleed to death.
"That's one less gay this world needs!" Cid said, proudly.
"Well done!" Locke congratulated him.
THE END
for now....
One day, Kefka demolished Tzen, and made a gay bar there. It was
fine for awhile, with regular visitors such as Umaro and Gau, but five
weeks passed, and it was time for Kefka to pay the taxes on his bar.
On a fine afternoon, as Kefka was making some tea for his pet
malboro, Francis, he heard a knock at the door of his tower.
"IRS! I'm here to make you pay your taxes! You're overdue!" the
voice on the other side of the door shouted.
"Imagine that!" Kefka gasped. "The master of this world, having to
pay taxes! I guess there's just no escaping the internal revenue
service, even in a world where it doesn't exist!" He put the pitcher
on the window sill, and answered the door. On the other side, he saw
a lovely man with great abs and pecs. He had long, silver hair, and a
ridiculously long sword stuffed in his belt. Lastly, he had the
"eyes"...the mako eyes. This was an irresistable thing for Kefka (in
fact, the death of Zack was truly induced by Kefka's obscene humping,
not at Sephiroth's blade.)
Kefka immediately ran up to Sephiroth and planted kisses all over
him.
"Eww! Quit it, fag!" Sephiroth screamed, pushing his fruity
adversary away.
"Don't make me cry," Kefka said, as he broke out in tears. "We are
soul mates, Sephiroth, and don't you forget!"
Seven Months Later...
On this fine day, kefka was sitting in his favorite rocking chair,
with Francis at his feet, purring like a kitten. he was watching his
favorite soap opera, All My Espers, and knitting a tentacle cozy for
his faithful malboro. He glanced at the TV, and noticed a man with long
hair, which reminded him of Sephiroth.
"I miss that cute Sephiroth!" Kefka whined.
Just as he heard this, he heard someone knocking on the door of his tower.
"Who is it? Is it you, Sephie?" Kefka asked. Kefka opened the door, and who was on the other side, but Locke Cole, the door-to-door salesthief!
"Call me a doo-to-door treasure hunter, or I'll rip your lungs out, ya damn narrator!", Locke shouted at the narrator.
I'm sorry, noble door-to-door treasue hunter. Anyway...
"Can I interest you in a sex toy?" asked Locke, holding up a blow up doll.
"Yes. You have the one I want." Kefka answered.
"And what one is that?" Locke asked.
"You!" Kefka shouted, grabbing Locke by the shoulders.
Locke puked and ran away.
"Waaaah!" Kefka cried. "Love has left me again! That's it! From this day forward, I vow to find Sephiroth, and make him my own personal playground!"
After searching the world and getting 13 Lv. ups...
"Aah. Nothing like fishing, huh buddy?" Sephiroth asked Cloud as he cast his line.
"Say, can ya hand me a Bud?" Cloud asked. "I promised Tifa I wouldn't drink, but Barrett says I'm whipped.
"That's okay. Red XIII says the same thing about me, and I'm not even married." Sephiroth grunted, handing Cloud a can of beer.
"K'ya ha ha! It looks like Scarlet an' me are the only ones making smart descisions these days!", Heidegger cackled.
"Oh, yeah, like Scarlet ever lets you make any of the descisions!" Cloud said, mocking him. "Why did we bring him along?" he asked Sephiroth.
"I dunno. I'll fix it." Sephiroth answered. "Eat SuperNova, you damn horse!" he shouted, casting SuperNova on Heidegger, killing him instantly. "M'wa ha ha ha!!!"
"Sephie, my hubby!" kefka shouted, jumping into the boat.
Sephiroth fainted and Kefka raped him. When he woke up, he ws strapped to the wall of Kefka's bedroom, between the whips and dildos.
"Prepare to fulfill my wildest dreams, bubby!" Kefka shouted, in his tighty whities.
"Oh my god...I mean Oh My Me! No one deserves this! Not even Al Gore!" sephiroth shouted.
Suddenly, the tower started quaking and the Highwind appeared. Terra, Locke, and Cloud jumped down from the deck.
"Eww! A girl!" Kefka killed Terra. Locke attacked Kefka with "Jump", and Cloud drank Francis' tea.
"Behave, baby!" Kefka mimed Austin Powers.
"Now you quit that, you pansy!" Locke yelled.
"Waaaaah, Ricky! I want Sephiroth!" cried Kefka.
Kefka was frenching Sephiroth when Cid jumped down to help. When Cid saw kefka humping Sephiroth's limp body, his cigarette fell out of his mouth.
"Eww! Shit! That's fucked up!, Cid shouted.
"Ooh, another pretty man!" Kefka chimed.
Cid pulled out his speanr and jammed it into Kefka's chest, causing him to bleed to death.
"That's one less gay this world needs!" Cid said, proudly.
"Well done!" Locke congratulated him.
THE END
for now....