It started with a crash and a boom and various other onomatopoeia that accompany explosions. It wasn't huge, like most of Stark's were, but it was big enough to garner a "What the fuckin' shit?!" out of Darcy.

Not that it really took much for that to happen. Jane started to feel bad taking all of Darcy's hard-earned barista money and got rid of the swear jar after the first week of her internship. Darcy was required to reign it in when she started working for SHIELD after London. It was her first real, professional, paying, office-y job and she didn't want to fuck it up. Of course, Captain America went and blew up her job after only three months. Darcy took a sabbatical after that, if "sabbatical" meant moving back in with her parents and mooching. Luckily, Jane had a connection for her and Darcy was near the end of her rope after two months of her mom repeating neighborhood gossip and lamenting her daughter's lackluster life. Stark Industries might have required Pepper Potts-level professionalism, but working with the Stark himself gave her a lot of leeway.

"What did you do, Lewis?" Tony screamed from his bedroom. "I thought you were dropping off paperwork, not a fucking A-bomb!"

Darcy peered over the back of the sofa. She had managed to spectacularly vault herself over the piece of furniture and was 95% sure she only broke half of her ass.

"I'm not dead. Thanks for asking, jerk!" she yelled back. She stood and looked around the penthouse. There was no damage inside, but she could see some serious weirdness on the other side of the large glass windows.

"Yeah, you're not gonna like this, " she called over her shoulder. "Please get out here so I can memorize your reaction and keep it in my pocket for when I'm sad."

Tony stumbled out of the bedroom with a shirt half on and pants unzipped. He looked at Darcy, then out the window and his jaw fell to the floor. "Oh my god. Why do aliens hate my tower? What have I ever done to them?"

Darcy considered the aircraft that had thoroughly munched its landing (and observed a moment of silence for the awesome jacuzzi.) It didn't look particularly otherworldly, but Darcy would be the first to admit that she knew jack shit about aero-anything. Best to trust Tony on science, if nothing else.
Definitely nothing else.

They stood in the living room and alternated looking at the craft and looking at each other.

"The last time I made first contact, I tazed it. And you're way too abrasive and obnoxious to serve as Earth's ambassador. Should we call someone?" Darcy looked at Tony expectantly. "Better yet, Jarvis, where's Thor?"

"He is currently dining with Dr. Foster on the common residential level," Jarvis quickly replied.

"Call him up, Jarv. Thor can all-speak with whatever it is and keep Tony from getting us killed."

Tony turned to her to say something, scowling, but Darcy quickly slapped her hand over his mouth and dragged him back behind the sofa.

"Shh! Look! It's opening," she whispered. "Don't let it see us. It could have a shrink ray or tentacles or laser guns or calculus questions."

Tony rolled his eyes and licked her hand.

"Ugh, EW. You are disgusting. I am giving you to the alien and encouraging experimentation," she said, wiping her hand on her jeans.

"Well, it looks like just a guy to me," said Tony, pointing outside. "A guy wearing way too much leather for summer and carrying a gun that I want."

Darcy turned her attention back to the ship. The dude climbed out of it and onto the ground. He was wearing a lot of leather - where do they get leather in space? Are there space cows?! - and looked fairly human. She squinted to see his face and groaned. "Goddammit! Why are there so many hot aliens?"

"Preliminary scans show that our visitor is not completely alien and is maintaining a normal body temperature," Jarvis stated.

"Not helping, Jarv."

Leather dude scanned his surroundings and stopped when he spotted Darcy staring over the back of the couch. He waved. She hesitated and waved back.

"Why are you waving at the alien, Lewis?" Tony questioned.

"Because I don't want to be rude to the alien with the gun!" she answered with the most condescending tone she could muster.

The alien walked towards the windows, smiled, and mouthed "Door?" Darcy pointed to it.

"Now you're telling him how get in? Wanna give him my car keys and credit card too?" said Tony, a look of disgust on his face.

She frowned back and tapped his nose with her finger. "Fix your face or it'll stay like that," she said, standing. "He smiled nicely, Tony. Bad aliens don't do that. And he said 'door' so he probably knows English."

Said hot alien found the door and walked into the penthouse.

"Well, your house is awesome. Sorry I broke it," he said. He glanced around the room and put his gun in its holster.

"I know and it happens all the time," Tony said, walking towards the guy and stopping ten feet away. He crossed his arms. "Who and what the hell are you?"

"Star-Lord. Also, your fly's down." Tony zipped it up without breaking his glare.

"Thanks, but I'm gonna need a lot more info. Are you human? Are you a bad guy? I just woke up and need at least ten cups of coffee before I start fighting bad guys."

"I'm mostly human and not a bad guy, usually. Name's Peter Quill," he said.

"Peter's a pretty Earth-y name, but you have a freaking spaceship. What's the deal?" Darcy asked. Peter gave her a once-over and flashed a grin that she figured he would consider charming. She'd call it smarmy and/or dopey. He looked out at his ship and shrugged.

"Yeah, badass, I know. Long story short, I was born here and grew up in space. Now I save people and galaxies. No big deal."

Tony frowned. "And do we need saving?"

"Kinda? Probably?" Peter said, turning back to Tony and tilting his head like a puppy.

"Ever heard of Thanos?"