It was funny how a single statement - made to be simple and quickly understood - could open up a whirlwind of emotions and send his mind reeling. It wasn't meant to be offensive, nor was it supposed to perplex him for over half the night. It was a sudden thing, only even mentioned because of the situation at hand. It was said with good intentions and merely some sound advice, but it hit him like a slap across the face, and boy did it sting. How dare she say that he didn't have such a quality.
"Hiwatari, I think you should try to be more sensitive."
Really, more sensitive? He was plenty sensitive, always careful to not upset people, and quickly adjust any situation that would do so. Ever since Krad disappeared, he'd been working on his people skills and found that they were drawn to his kindness and charming ways. So how was he not sensitive?
So he confronted her about it, making sure that she would clarify exactly what she meant. She couldn't have said it without reason, right? Maybe she was just mistaken.
He cornered her at her locker one day after school and let his sapphire orbs search her brown ones for answers. She stared at him confusedly and innocently, wondering what he could possibly want from her. She made no motion of being uncomfortable and she refused to speak until he did. She seemed perfectly willing to stand there all day if she had to, waiting for him to do what he came to do. Why she wasn't in a hurry to head home like all the other students was beyond him. She could have met up with her sister and walked home, taken the cable car, and be sitting cozily on her bed by now.
After deciding that he wasn't getting anywhere by staring her down, he took the logical approach, and began asking her questions. What did you mean? Why did you say that? How did you come to that conclusion? It all means the same thing. He only succeeded in confusing her more, though, because she had no idea what he was talking about. She tried to search his eyes for answers now, but she was also getting nowhere. She watched as a few loose strands of his hair fell and tried hiding his piercing eyes. She appeared to be almost hypnotized by everything about him. His hair falling, his eyes glistening, and his presence in general.
He knew she expected him to explain himself, so he brought up the event that led to his lack of sleep and chaotic state of mind. Her eyes lit up, showing that she remembered what he was talking about. He reminded her of what she had said to him and she burst out in a fit of giggles because of the serious look on his face and the tone of his voice. She could see the bags under his eyes and took note of his slightly disheveled appearance and thought it to be hilarious that that's what caused it all.
She tucked some of her own brunette locks behind her ear, turned and shut her locker, and began walking off down the hall. She moved slow and gave him a look that said 'follow me.' He made his way beside her and looked at her expectantly to explain herself, but she said nothing. She remained silent until they reached the gate at the front of the school. She could tell that her lack of talking made him extremely antsy and provoked his curious nature. It was rather amusing to watch his eyes flicker back and forth between wonder and eagerness. It really drove him that bonkers.
"I don't know why you're so worked up about it. It was just a comment; I didn't mean to trouble you with it."
Of course he knew that, she never meant to do anything to throw people off. There was no ill will, malice, or bad intentions behind what she said, but it didn't change the fact that it drove him near insane. All he wanted was some peace of mind, some reassurance that he was progressing, rather than taking steps backwards. Without Krad, he was free to be around people and actually talk with them and befriend them. He got to be the person Daisuke always knew he was and he made sure to let that person shine and come out. He talked more, smiled, ate lunch with people, and even tried to hang out every once in awhile. It was all still a big shock for his senses and nerves, but he was taking baby-steps.
But if what she said was true, wouldn't that mean he was regressing? He had only ever been nice to people he had to be or to those whom he could tolerate. He wasn't afraid to be brutally honest, reject someone, or insult those he deemed it necessary. No, he wasn't afraid to do those things, but now that he didn't have to, he did everything he could to keep his mouth shut. He made sure not to offend anyone, tiptoe around delicate issues, and sugarcoat the truth to spare someone's feelings. So, again, how was he not sensitive?
"I know that, Miss Harada, but I'm curious as to why you said it. What did I do or say to make you think that way?"
She looked at him with a rather awkward gaze. It was like she was trying to see right through him into his very soul. Her chocolate eyes were so intense and focused that he thought she would bore holes through his skin. She was only trying to comprehend what he was saying, confused as to why he would let such a petty thing bother him. She lightly pressed a finger to her lips and let her eyes look up into the evening sky. She was trying to figure out the best way to explain it to him.
"Well, the situation called for sensitivity, not just kindness. That boy was really scared and you made his fear seem pathetic. Sure, you didn't say anything mean, but it translated to 'don't-worry-about-it,-you're-overreacting.' You might've been polite but you weren't sensitive."
There was a difference? He looked dumbstruck as she stood there, satisfied with her response. She smiled and nodded, finding this to be resolved. She started walking down the sidewalk, but it wasn't long before he caught up with her and gently grabbed her arm. She turned around, curious as to what he wanted now. His face held the same expression as he searched her eyes for the second time that day. What did she mean that he was polite but not sensitive? She tried leaving him even more confused than he already was!
"That doesn't make any sense. I didn't undermine his fear; I reassured him that everything would be alright."
"How so? You told him it was a silly thing to get worked up about and that everything would be fine. It didn't sound reassuring, it sounded like you were looking down on him. A lot of it had to do with your tone of voice, but you didn't use the right words to comfort him."
Didn't use the right words? How much more confusing could she get? He told the kid everything would be fine and he was right. He turned out just fine, didn't he? There was no reason to get worked up over something as silly as a test. He had studied for it and it was his best subject. So what exactly did he say wrong?
She saw the ever deepening confused look on his face and sighed. She put her hand over his and hinted for him to let go of her arm. He blushed, but quickly complied with her wishes, embarrassed that he had still been holding on. She smiled and moved more hair out of her face, while silently preparing the best way to explain everything to him. For a smart kid, he got confused easily.
"Look, when someone's afraid, you don't undermine their fears by telling them that it's a petty thing to worry about. Different things scare different people. And second of all, you have to make sure that your voice is calm and soothing. If you're going to do one or the other, at least make sure you don't do both at the same time. Some people aren't as touchy about their feelings as others, so sometime's it's O.K. to say things like that or they don't read too much into your tone."
O.K., O.K., this was making some sense. Tone of voice is still a little cold, but his word choice was fine. She still needed to clarify that.
"I guess the best way for me to say this is to get technical with you. Being polite means that you have manners, but being sensitive means that you can identify how people are feeling and react to it. If you're just being polite, you'll do what you did - you just try and be nice. If you want to be sensitive, you need to know how people are feeling, and react accordingly. If someone is angry, you don't politely tell them to calm down; you ask them what's wrong and try to help them fix the situation. If someone is sad, you sit with them, let them cry, talk, and just be there for them. You don't just tell them everything will be O.K. It might sound confusing, but that little difference makes a big one when you're dealing with others."
How did she do that? She'd managed to confuse him more than he'd ever been in his entire life in less than twenty-four hours. However... she made sense. There was a difference between politeness and sensitivity and even though he already had a college education and had been commander of the police force, he still had a lot to learn. Not just about sensitivity, but life in general. There were so many things he still needed to experience and there were many more life lessons for him to learn.
"I don't know how you did it, Miss Harada, but you've made me think more today than I ever have. But you've made a valid point and I'll be sure to work on that. Of course, I don't think it's something I can do on my own."
She smiled brightly at him and walked over to the crosswalk. She hit the button and waited for the light to change.
"Well if you ever want my help, you know where to find me, Hiwatari."
"Satoshi."
"Huh?"
"I have a feeling I'm going to need a lot of help, Miss Harada. We're going to be spending lots of time together, so we might as well get on a first name basis."
"Risa."
He blinked curiously at her, but smiled when he saw the light in her eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes that always made him stop and wonder. Her silky brunette hair that always framed her face perfectly. Her delicate pink lips that appeared to be soft as rose petals that always sparked a sense of curiosity to stem from him. Her creamy skin that made her glow in the sunlight always made him want to stand next to her, just to see if he could catch some of her radiance. Oh, yes, he was most definitely going to need lots of her help.
"A/N: I'm so addicted to this couple. I've got a couple stories about them on my page, but I always seem to find ideas to write about with them. I'm hopeless. Anyway, you can blame my new addiction for this story. There is a marvelous genius on YouTube named Alex Goot, who does magnificent cover songs, but he's got a few original ones, and I've fallen in love with his song "Sensitivity." I'm even contemplating making a video for these two with that song. I already made one of them with his song "Pretty Eyes." Like I said, I'm hopeless. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this story, yes Hiwatari was supposed to be out of character because this takes place after the anime, and I'd love it if you left a review."
