"Mom! The freak has a letter!" Dudley shouted, pointing his chubby finger at Harry. The boy in question winced, preparing himself for the inevitable scolding from his relatives. Uncle Vernon, as big as a whale, immediately walked up to Harry, took the letter from the boy and began to inspect it closely.

"What do we have here?" Vernon mumbled, opening the letter and reading it out loud.

"Dear Mr Potter, I am Bwanbale Cash-Money, the Headmaster of the Uagadou School of Magic in Uganda. I want to make an offer to you. If you enroll in our fine establishment, I'll give you 50 million pounds," Vernon read, first with anger, now with excitement.

"Well, boy," he said and smiled at Harry. "It seems like you found yourself a new school."

"Welcome to Uganda," said an older boy who greeted Harry at the apparition point. Harry took a look around and couldn't help but be amazed by what he saw. He wasn't sure if going to Uganda to study was a good idea. On one hand, he could finally escape from his relatives, but on the other, he always thought Uganda was a third-world country. What he saw now was as far from puberty as you can get.

They were inside a big hall, all seemingly made of gold, shining brightly and enveloping the inside in a golden glow. The few wizards that were hanging out around here were all dressed in luxurious robes, made from materials that Harry couldn't even recognize. He felt his face grow red with embarrassment as he looked at his attire. He was wearing old Dudley's clothes, still too big for his slim frame, making him look quite pathetic.

The older boy must have noticed Harry's embarrassment, as his eyes lingered on Harry's outfit. He shook his head and sighed, making Harry's face even redder than it was before.

"My name's Brian, I'll be your guide today," the boy said, extending his hand to Harry.

Harry smiled shyly. "I'm Harry, nice to meet you," he said, trying to sound more confident.

The boys shook hands and Brian motioned for Harry to follow. The pair left the golden building and emerged onto a crowded street. There were shops and restaurants everywhere, and Harry couldn't help but be amazed by the splendor of it all. He stood there for a moment, stunned, before Brian shook his shoulder gently.

"Enjoying the view, Harry?" He grinned and Harry snapped out of his amazement. "We'll go to school soon, but first things first, we have to do something about your outfit," he said and took Harry in the direction of a luxurious looking boutique.

"Why are my clothes important?" Harry asked but the older boy only glared at him and sighed. "I mean, won't we be wearing school robes anyway?"

Brian looked scandalized. "School robes?" he voiced, utterly shocked. "Then how would you show off your wealth?"

Harry looked confused. "Why would I want to show off my wealth? Isn't this a school?"

Brian couldn't quite believe his ears. "Yes, that's the point! It's a school so you need to look amazing every single day!" the older boy exclaimed passionately and even Harry seemed ready to be convinced. "School life is a constant competition. You need to have good grades, but most importantly, you have to look good in the photo shoots," he said as they entered the shop.

"Photo shoots?" Harry asked, utterly confused by all this.

Brian nodded, his attention now on the various robes displayed inside of the boutique. "Every single week, there is a photo shoot at our school. But we never know the exact date, that's why we need to dress to impress everyday. One bad photo could ruin your career, Harry."

Harry wasn't entirely convinced, but he admitted some nice clothes could be useful. He couldn't exactly fit in wearing Dudley's cast-offs. "Well," Harry said and Brian looked at him. "Let's buy something nice then."

Brian clapped his hands excitedly. "Now that's what I'm talking about!"

"Welcome to Uagadou School of Magic, Harry," said the Headmaster, Mr. Cash-Money as he and the confused boy stood at the centre of the Greatest Hall. There were lots of students sitting inside, all of them dressed in absolutely peculiar outfits that would surely scandalize the Dursleys. Harry felt unease and hoped that this "sorting ceremony" (as the Headmaster called it) would be over soon. Mr. Cash-Money, maybe feeling his nervousness, decided it was time to finally begin.

"As you all know, every new student has to be sorted into one of the ten Houses. I won't bother with their names as that would make my speech far too long and boring." After saying this, the Headmaster frowned as he took a second to ponder something. "Actually, me saying all that is probably taking even more time than simply listing their names, huh. Well, anyway, you all know what to do, so just vote!"

At that, a small paper appeared in front of every student. They all took their time to show off their absurdly expensive quills, and started to write something when they noticed nobody was truly paying attention to the quills.

Harry, still confused about the whole thing, glanced at the Headmaster who was still standing beside him. "Sir, what are they doing?" he asked, hoping to finally hear what this ceremony was even about.

The Headmaster smiled at him warmly, showing him a full display of diamond teeth. "They're judging your looks, Harry," he explained. "They have to rate you, your attractiveness. Then you'll be assigned into one of the ten Houses based on your score."

Harry instantly tried to make himself look taller and ran his hand through his hair, but he decided it probably didn't help much. His hair just didn't cooperate. Suddenly, the papers disappeared and the Headmaster grabbed a note out of thin air. Harry decided he rather liked this whole magic thing.

Mr. Cash-Money cleared his throat and read the note. "Harry Potter, you've received an average score of 6.52. This means you're now a member of the Fairly Good Looking But Something Is Missing House! Congratulations!"

Harry sighed. "It's probably my hair," he mumbled as his new House members cheered.

Harry was sitting inside a classroom, his head filled with possibilities. What would his first class at a magical school be like? He couldn't help but feel excitement as he glanced at his housemates. They always took the classes with a different random House because the Headmaster wanted to promote inter-house friendship or something.

"It sucks," a girl sitting next to Harry whispered and he looked at her confusedly.

"What?" he asked, not really knowing what she was getting at. He made some friendly small-talk with some of his housemates, but most of them were still unknown to Harry, this girl being one of them.

"We share this class with the Absolutely Magical How Can Someone Even Be This Beautiful Oh My God House," she explained. "And what's even worse, the teacher is their Head of the House, so he'll surely favour them."

"Oh," Harry said eloquently. "Yeah, I guess this sucks," he added, not entirely convinced. After all, how could learning magic ever suck?

At this moment, the golden doors opened, and the most bizarre-clothed man Harry had ever seen entered. Harry thought he would never be surprised by any outfit again after witnessing the students' clothes, but this was something else. Seriously, what even was that?

The man in question walked up to the front of the classroom and flashed them a smile, his teeth almost blinding Harry with their whiteness.

"My name is Gilderoy Lockhart…"

A/N: This was written for the third round of the Houses Competition, year 4.

House: Gryffindor

Year: 2

Category: Standard

Prompt: [Setting] Uagadou School of Magic (Uganda)

Word Count: 1272