Welcome one and all to the circus of our minds and the carousel of our hearts, where the music never ends and you wish you'd eaten six less hot dogs!

"You think that's a pretty good line, don't you sweetie?"

I haven't gotten to you yet, Wade…

"No one's here for your sissy ass, though… not bad to either of you."

You're just going to keep interrupting me, aren't you?

"No shit, so get on with it."

Alright, fine. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Deadpool. If you have no idea who that is you've been asleep for the last two month or you might have been dead.

"I love dying, I get to visit that fun place with all the ghouls and my girl."

You know you're hardcore gay in this story, right?

"She says she's making us gay."

"Well, I don't know about you two but I'll fuck anything so what-evs!"

Oh look your friends came to say hello, hello there!

"You two need to shut the hell up, making us look bad. We're totally straight and we just tease. Queer baiting… yep, that's what we do…"

"But if Deadpool.. If we are a polydimensional character where external influences affect our internal state, wouldn't fanfiction and Slash have a say?'

"I'd totally bone Spidey… that's what we're talking about, right?"

Correct, only in this, it's going to be Hawkeye.

"What, why him?"

"Agreed, we are not shipped with him very often."

"Still hot, I'm in."

Bluntly- we're fangirls and we like it. You want a more detailed answer?

"Sure, gotta hear the reasoning behind this shit."

Well that's too bad jack-ass. Enjoy the ride.

In the year 2019 in the city of New York, a battle like no other waged across the lower east side of Manhattan. Earlier that very afternoon, a villain unlike any of his peers dawned his six foot tall rubberized frog costume, tuned his springs, and bounced through the glass of a jewelry store window. Despite the fact that a certain hero, or anti-hero, as many would call him, was standing nearby at a corner taco stand, luck remained on the side of Vincent Patilio that day.

"Damn it you… hold still and just let me shoot you! It'll only take a second, I promise." Wade Wilson honestly didn't care who got away with whatever gems they wanted, or not, wasn't his business. What he did mind was the loss of his favorite taco stand, Tacos Buena Puta. He stared at the broken husks and spilled meat that surrounded the destroyed cart, a whimper on his lips. This had been more than enough to seek revenge on the crook that had killed his beloved Rico's thriving business venture.

"Who the hell is going to stop and let them shoot you, moron?" Leapfrog…

"Literally the worst villain in all of the Marvel canon you could have chosen. Thanks ladies, you're the best. And the taco stand, really?"

Leapfrog felt as though the world had frozen for a brief second as he landed near a fountain in Central Park. He looked around and quickly jumped again, moving out of the way as bullets followed his path. Vincent panted softly, needing a breath and hoping a bit of conversation might buy him some time. "You're nuts, you know that? Don't you care about innocents?"

"Who the hell is innocent in this day and age?"

"Children, maybe?"

"Oh, you haven't played Halo, have you? Those assholes are little devils, and I've met the guy. He'd be so proud."

The frog suited robber scrambled around the fountain, his springs beginning to creak, having a mechanical error at a time like this did not seem very lucky, not in the least. However, as previously stated, the frog was piss drunk in good fortune. Deadpool's guns clicked once, then twice. "Oh, you're out of bullets."

Wade exhaled, giving a shrug as he reached behind his back for his… it was at this moment he realized that he'd only brought his guns. Wearing his katana in a tracksuit was tacky, not to mention mildly uncomfortable. "Fuck."

Vincent seized the moment, kicking out with both the power of his springs and the physical weight of his legs. There was an audible crunch as the merc's ribs snapped and his body was thrown back across the brick courtyard and into a tree. Though he was more of the robber type, only in it for the money, the man in the frog suit did find the sound of Deadpool's body hitting the trunk of a giant oak rather satisfying.

"I would assume this is where the real hero comes in?"
"They could just let the frog get away and then have us go dancing. A one night hook-up… find out it's Bird Boy. Ain't that how yaoi usually goes?"

"I think they're going for more of a relationship. We'll just have to wait and see, so shuddup and watch."

Vincent didn't get very far. Actually, he barely got to the end of the courtyard before his body was engulfed in a large net. The texture wasn't rope, it was sticky and oozed down into cracks wherever it found any. The man struggled and twisted, only making it worse by causing the threads to spread and tighten.

A tall blonde stood near the oak and gave a casual sideways glance, "Really?" was all he said. Not that anything else really needed to be added. The insults applied themselves. Clint meandered towards Wade, taking his time to get there, savoring the painful crackling sound as the merc ripped away from the imprint he'd left in the tree. "Good to see you, Wade."

"Barton…what's my nickname for you today?" Wilson shamelessly laid still while his body healed.

"No idea. Tell me when you think of it."

"Bow Boy… lame. Legolas? Overused…"

Clint rolled his eyes and approached the trapped villain, who had given up the struggle and resorted to trying to chew through the net material. The archer narrowed his eyes and snapped a picture with his cell phone to send to Fury, although for a criminal as harmless as Leapfrog, the NYPD would probably be more likely to handle him. "You're going to jail, Frog Man. Why a frog? You could have at least made it something cool..."

"Katniss? No…" Wade wasn't paying much attention to Clint or Vincent now. Determined to find a cute but slightly insulting nickname for the archer. "Arrow is too on the nose, though he's basically a copy of you right? Oliver is just rich…"

"Ohhh we like rich, let's bang him instead."

"Wrong universe, though I've see some Flash and Arrow slash that's quite nice."

"Both of you shut up! I'm trying to be clever here, you're ruining it!"

"Whiny bitch…"

"Agreed…"

Vincent groaned, giving up on the chewing as well, whatever the stuff was it tasted nasty. "I jump, frogs jump. What's complicated about it? Besides, the suit needed to be big enough to hide the springs. And Toad was taken, though at least I have a decent face."

Wade snorted as his mind snapped back from debating with itself. "Ohhhh, he looks like a sick fuck with that tongue, doesn't he?" Almost fully healed Wilson rolled onto his front and then pulled himself up rolling his still aching shoulders. "Should give him a cookie for that one."

Clint sighed his arms settling into an X across his chest. "Do you have a cookie?"

"No, but now I want one and I wouldn't give it to him."

"Right, anyway, Fury is on his way to pick up Hopper here." Clint nudged Leapfrog with his foot. "Find a good name for me yet? I'm curious."

"Oh yea I did!" Deadpool paused for effect and made his own little drum roll. "Tightass!"

The archer raised a brow wholly confused as he was probably the least uptight member of the Avengers. "Well, at least one thing is normal: you make no sense."

"Trust me, give it about twenty pages…"

Barton just stared at his companion blankly. Sometimes he really did just make no sense at all. "Whatever Wade, you have a job to do." He pointed towards the trail of bullet holes. "Make sure you find every last one of them or I'll shove whatever's left up your ass next time I see you." The archer was visibly annoyed, "You have to stop firing into crowds."

"Stop fussing, I have perfect aim."

"No, I have perfect aim, you have decent aim when you're not… being yourself."

"He hates me, look at that. Exactly how are we going to work around that fact?"

"It's not hate, he's disappointed in us. In you… but why would you care?"

"Yeah, why do you care?"

"Ugh… I hate you both."

"Oh, he hates himself."

"Knew that!"

Wade rubbed his head, whimpering a bit, "Shut the hell up!" He moved, beginning to pick up his bullet and casings.

Clint's face fell a bit and after a long moment he bent down to help, "So, voices not so fun today?"

"You don't have to help me. I don't need your sympathy, Barton."

"What happened to Tightass?"

"You haven't earned it yet…" He popped a bullet from the side of a tree with his dagger and then picked a few off the ground, everything beginning to calm down. "He destroyed Tacos Buena Puta… I loved that place."

Barton groaned. He'd also had a weakness for that particular taco vendor. They always knew just how much sauce to put on. "Poor Rico...look I'm sure he'll get back on his feet in a few weeks. You'll live. Both of you. And after our next mission we'll have tacos to celebrate, deal?"

Wade visibly perked up at the idea, although he wasn't sure why it appealed to him that much… "Next time? Didn't think there'd be a next time." He crouched down to work a few bullets out of the ground and Clint chuckled lowly. Fury hadn't told him yet, then, that they'd be working closely together from here on out...

"Oh yeah, there'll be a next time."