Gale Hawthorne POV

Rejection. Rejection was the only thing that seared through me the minute I walked into her house. After I had left for District Two, I realized that I made the wrong choice, that I should be back with my Katnip, trying to sort out the mess I'd made. For some reason, I had some crazy hope that maybe, just maybe, from the first day she'd kissed him, it was all an act. So I'd kissed her, too. I had seen the confusion in her eyes, and knew that she could have been mine if I'd stayed. If the rebellion hadn't gone the way it had.

Halfway to my destination, I turned around, came running back, realizing my mistake. I wanted to make things right. But here I stand, in her entryway, in full view of a passionate kiss between her and Peeta. The baker's son, my worst enemy. Yet I couldn't hate him for making her happy, so I turned around and ran. I opened the door and slammed it behind me, not caring if they heard; if it broke the kiss that pained me to look at. Mistakenly, I had entered her house, thinking it was like old times.

Obviously, it wasn't.

I ran until I couldn't stop my lungs from heaving. I collapsed on the ground, taking a second to catch my breath and survey my surroundings. Ironically, it was the Meadow. I laughed bitterly. The Meadow, the place where all of my hopes had been raised and my dreams of a happy District Twelve had been crushed. The place where I had brought all of the survivors to wait, to keep surviving. And yet here I stood, absolutely sure that I was going to die from the pain in my chest that just kept growing, aiming to overtake my whole being, my whole existence.

She was the reason for my existence, and therefore, without her, I was nothing. I felt like nothing, I was trash, I was used. She made me think that she loved me, so I gave her all my love, then she turned around and threw my love in the trash for him.

I heard the light footsteps of a hunter behind me, but I dared not turn around for fear that my rage would overcome me. I didn't have to turn around, she came over to me. The way she sat down, so at ease, so natural here in the forest reminded me of the Katnip I had loved. She was Katniss now, his Katniss. No longer could she be my Katnip.

"Gale," she whispered gently, placing her worn hand on my arm. Her face was full of regret, full of longing. "I-"

"Don't." I said harshly. The words kept spilling out from there, and there was nothing I could do to hold them back. "Don't think that you can make it better, Katniss. You can't. I've seen it now; and there's no going back. Did you think that you could fool me? Live a double life? Hunt with me in the mornings and kiss your baker boy in the afternoon? Tend to your children at night? His children? No, Katniss, you can't. He's won your heart, I can see that."

She bit her lip as tears welled in her eyes. Strangely enough, I didn't regret what I had said. I didn't regret hurting her. She wasn't mine now, and she would never be. I planned on returning to District Two anyways, she wouldn't haunt me there.

"Gale," she whispered once again. I realized that I still loved the way she said my name. "Gale, I'm sorry. I really am. I'm just so confused right now…"

And somehow, I found myself reaching out my arms to her and pulling her into my embrace. We fit perfectly together, like two pieces of a puzzle. My anger was gone, replaced by the desire to make her feel better. "No, Katnip. I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have said those things, I didn't really mean them."

She looked up at me, her cheeks red and her face flushed from crying. "Really?"

"Yes, really." And without thinking, I took her head gently in my hands and kissed her. As I pulled away, I smiled. "You make me crazy, Katnip. Angry one moment, happy the next. What am I going to do with you?"

She sighed. "I don't know, Gale." Once more, she leaned her head on my shoulder. I stroked her hair, comforting her about what she didn't want to admit. She was unsure, and Katniss would never be unsure. Katniss was the Mockingjay, not a small girl in the forest. But Katnip, Katnip was that girl in the forest. And I could tell she was torn between two worlds.

"You know, Katniss, waiting longer to decide never makes it easier."

She didn't respond, but simply sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. As she did, I noticed the faint smell of scented shampoo, and almost snorted. But I figured that she had enough on her mind without me teasing her about her hair. I was on her mind, and that reassured me.

I stood up, and she looked up at me. "Where are you going?"

"Katnip, it's got to be at least eleven at night. If you want to have some mental sanity when making a decision, you should get some sleep." I held out my hand, and she took it, laughing softly as she, too, stood.

"Goodnight, Gale." she said, kissing me on the cheek. "Love you. I'll tell Peeta you said-" Katniss broke off. "Well, goodnight." She walked away, a considerably lighter tone to her step.

I watched her in the slowly brightening moonlight. I watched her unbraided hair sway; her hands fly about as she spun once, how she smiled so softly, free of her cares for a moment in this magical time of night we call dusk. It took me a few moments to finally respond to her, but in those few moments she had slipped from my grasp, back to the place she calls home with her baker boy.

"But is it enough?" I whispered, finally answering her question in the silence. I was glad she had left, that there was no one there. Because no one was there to see me cry over her, my Katnip, who I was almost sure was gone from me forever.

What she didn't know was everything I would do for her. I would catch a grenade for her; throw my hand on a blade for her. I'd jump in front of a train for her, heck; I would do anything for her. I would go through all this pain, even take a bullet straight through my brain. I would die for my Katnip, but would she do the same?

All I could hope for was that baker boy would do something wrong, and she would choose me.

So I held on to that faint hope, my light in the darkness.