Letter and Voices From The Past

A small one shot

Toby/Spencer mainly , Alex/Spencer(Though I don't support this couple.)

Spencers POV

"Give it back." Darren screamed trying to get his phone from Rosetta.

"Guys stop it." My husband Alex says to our children. I was bouncing our son AJ on my lap , we were currently eating out because this is my fathers favorite restaurant and we were attending his 50th birthday. We decided to go out together as a family.

Currently I am sitting between my sister Melissa and my son Darren.

Melissa was here with her daughter Annie . The nine of us were enjoying a nice family meal , minus the kids fighting.

"How is work Spencer?" My father asked since we haven't talked in a week all that much since he and mom went out of town to Foxwoods , they got back earlier today.

"Work is going fine. Don't worry mom no big cases came in while you were gone." I said smiling. After high school I decided to go to law school and join my mothers practice . We were at the country club talking with a client when Alex and I ran into each other. I was 25 and a single mother to a 3 year old Darren at the time and it was a simple defense case.

Alex and I talked for a while and then he asked me if we could catch up over dinner some time. I accepted his offer and then before I knew it 2 years later we were walking down the aisle together. My wedding was everything I ever wanted , I wore a Cinderella style dress. Melissa was my maid of honor. Aria , Hanna , and Emily were bridesmaids wearing simple golden dresses. My father walked me down the aisle. I got married in the town church...

'I love you Spencer.' those words flashed in my mind for a quick second and I looked around to see if the voice I heard was there.

"Spencer are you okay?" Alex asked noticed I was kind of distraught. Then my family looked at me and I playfully laughed.

"Yeah I am fine , AJ here kept me up last night." I said and kissed my sons cheek.

"I offered to take him." Alex said in a 'You know I am right' tone.

'Let me take him , you look exhausted' I heard the voice replay in my mind again. I knew I heard it this time , Toby's voice was clear as a bell.

"Mom are you alright?" My son Darren asked. I looked at his face and all I saw was myself except when you saw the eyes. He definitely has his father eyes.

"Yeah just a little tired. " I gave him quick kiss on the nose. Though he may be only 13 Darren is definitely his fathers child and I had no objections to that.

"Maybe you should go home and take a nap . I would rather have that then you fall asleep during cake." My father suggested and I nodded.

"Sure besides it is AJ's feeding time anyway." I told my family and gave Alex a quick kiss on the cheek.

I got out of the restaurant and drove for a little bit since AJ started crying.

' Do you want me to take Darren for a walk. Maybe the fresh air will help him sleep?' The voice said again and I looked around and didn't see anything.

"Mommy is going crazy AJ." I said softly and then I noticed I drove by Toby's old house. I stopped and parked. "Maybe mommy should say hi." I said quietly and picked up AJ out of the back.

I quickly walked up the pathway to the front steps. I lightly knocked on the door and Mrs. Marshall opened the door.

"Spencer what are you doing here? Who is this little cutie?" She asked when she saw Aj. "He is definitely not little Darren." She smiled.

"This is my son Alex." I said and AJ looked at her smiling.

"Oh come in!" She invited me in and I stepped inside. "I heard that you are married. How wonderful." She said and I remembered the last time I was in this house. Darren was the 1 year old instead of AJ .

"Spencer!" I heard Jenna and she came up to me smiling. Jenna got eye surgery since we last saw each other and her eyes were almost as good as new.

"Hey Jenna , your looking good." I said politely.

"Thank you , so are you. " She said politely as well.

"Well I just wanted to stop and say hi real quick. I live about 30 minutes from here and was heading back home." I smiled at Jenna and Mrs. Marshall and began to turn away.

"He sent us a letter to give you a little while back. I will go get it." Jenna said leaving the room .

"How far back? " I asked Mrs. Marshall.

"A day before he killed himself. He came home and said that he loved us. Then he told us to give you this letter and left. I wanted to give the letter to you at the funeral , but you never showed up." She said and my breath stood still.

Flashback

"I told you mom , Alex and I want to host Thanksgiving. " I said frustrated and then there was a knock on the door. "Mom someone is here , I will call you back." I hung up and opened the door to see Emily standing there sobbing.

"Spencer something happened." She said as soon as she saw my face.

"What is it Em? Did you and Maya get into a fight?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Toby was found last night." she said and my world crumbled. Alex and I have not even been dating for two years and now Toby is back. Trying to get me and Darren back after 3 years of not one word or cent from him.

"Oh ... well thanks for telling me." I said angrily and she sobbed more and I realized something was wrong.

"He shot himself in a motel close to the old church." She said and my breath stopped and then I cried into Emily.

"Mommy whats wrong?" Darren innocently asked me.

"Nothing baby , an old friend of mommy's went to heaven." I said hugging him

End of Flashback

Jenna entered the room again holding a small envelope. I shakily took the note. I soon left after and hurried home. I put AJ to bed and I sat in my bath tub reading the letter over and over again.

Dear Spencer,

For me to say this is a little bit weird. I have missed you and Darren for the past few years. I wish I got to see you guys again before I do what I plan to do. It was wrong to wake up one morning and leave you alone with our 2 year old son , taking all the money in the coffee can and everything I could fit in my motorcycle. I loved you Spencer , I loved Darren . Though there was things I never told you , that you will never know that killed me to keep from you everyday. The years with you were the best I have ever experienced. Then that night we got unofficially married in that small bar in New Hampshire was my favorite memory . The way you looked in ripped jeans and my top was stunning. Though we were only 17 and naive.

I will always love you and Darren , even after I die.

Love , Toby

I started sobbing , the tears were spilling on to the paper. I wish I got to say goodbye and give him one last kiss before he left that night. I wish he didn't leave. I wish that he visited me that night instead of his family , yet all those things did happen.

I submerged my head underwater and closed my eyes, a picture of Toby becoming clearer.

'You can't do this to your family.' I heard Toby's voice again.

I hoisted myself up and got out of the water. Silently I changed into my pajamas crying , then as I fell asleep anyone could that I was crying because of the stains on my cheeks.

'I will always love you , no matter if we are 17 or 71 I will always be there for you.' I remembered his vow the night in the bar and with one last tear I was finally set free into my dreams , the only place where I can see Toby again.

I cried not going to lie... dont care if you like this . I just got a quick idea :)