A/N: It was supposed to be a Christmas short but it spun into something completely outta control but I posted it anyway. My own personal way of getting back into writing gear! Anyways, happy holidays!
Warning: This story is heavy on the cheese!
Disclaimer: Original Characters, settings, etc. belong to Richelle Mead. Plot is my own.
Rose hummed as she finished hanging the last of the decorations around the house.
She'd never really been much of a Christmas lover, other than the fact that it meant a vacation away from the academy with Lissa and her family and sneaking spiked eggnog when she was younger. Her tolerance for the holidays diminished even more after the tragedy that was Spokane. Since then, the holidays were just another day on the calendar, just one more colorful than most.
But for the last couple of years, Christmas had felt less of a routine day and more of an actual holiday. When she'd spent Christmas with Lissa's family, they welcomed her with open arms but she still felt like an intruder, an outsider pitifully taken in despite Lissa putting her best foot forward to include her in. And on the rare opportunity that she'd stay on campus for the holidays, opting out of imposing on the Dragomirs' holiday plans, she felt alone.
In the last couple of years, with all of the new additions to her ragtag clan of friends and relatives, she's actually felt apart of a family. She had something to look forward to when it came to the holidays and, though she'd never admit it aloud, she loved every minute of it.
"How many of those do you plan on hanging?"
"As many as it takes to cover all the ceilings and doorways," Rose answered from her spot on the step stool she was standing on. "So...I'm thinking somewhere in the thousands," she answered jokingly.
"Rose," Dimitri laughingly scolded from where he was leaning against the doorway, watching her hang yet another mistletoe.
"What? Too much?"
"Just a bit. All these mistletoe should make for an interesting dinner party."
"It certainly won't be boring," she agreed.
She started to step down from the step stool. Its unsteady legs wobbled under the sudden shift in weight but not even a inkling of fear coursed through her as Dimitri stepped forward and was quick to catch her in a low dip as though they'd been dancing.
"It'd be a shame to spend another Christmas in the hospital," he admonished, easily righting her position in one fluid motion. He straightened himself up, bringing Rose right along with him until their bodies were pressed chest to chest.
"I wasn't worried," she shrugged. "Besides, last Christmas wasn't my fault. You'd think Fire-boy would know better than to try to flambe during the holidays when all of us are drunk."
"You were the only one drunk," he reminded her chuckling.
"Anyway," she sighed, changing the subject. Though it seemed impossible, she anchored herself even closer to Dimitri, stretched on her toes and with her arms wrapped securely around his neck. "You protected me from myself then and I knew you'd protect me now. Also from myself," she added, smiling. "There seems to be a pattern."
"The patter is your incapability in keeping yourself out of harms way."
She shrugged, pecking him on the lips. "Again, you'll always be there to protect me, so I'm not worried."
She started to pull out of his arms but he reeled her back in against his chest, hugging her in such a cozy tranquil hug that she hoped he wouldn't let her go anytime soon. If ever. This was the type of hug that he gave her before they went their separate ways on an extended period of guardian duties for their charges. It was also the type of hug that he gave her when they were reunited.
Since they had been lucky enough to spend the last couple of weeks together, it was easy for Rose to tell which version of the hug this was. She returned the gesture, matching his strength as much as she could, wrapping her arms around his back like a vice, pressing her face against the sweet, spicy scent that lingered on his clothes.
He felt good. In fact, good wasn't adequate enough to describe Dimitri at all.
He felt like home.
If it hadn't been for the brief knock on their front door followed by Lissa calling out to them as she let herself and the others in, Rose imagined that they would have stayed embraced forever. There was no better place that she'd like to spend her time than in Dimitri's arms. With work and people dropping in and out of their court apartment, it was pretty rare she was able to do so, however.
"What's the longest that we've ever been completely alone?" she murmured against his shirt, her words muffled.
"Never long enough," he sighed against her hair. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, sending the usual fiery tingles through her body, before loosening his grip around her just enough to maneuver themselves from their bedroom in the back of the apartment to join their friends waiting for their arrival in the living room.
"You can say that again," she muttered trying to shake off the aftereffects that Dimitri kisses induced, the sensation lingering on her skin.
She sighed but tried to brighten herself up with the bright thought that she finally had the family she always wanted for Christmas. Sure she wanted alone time with Dimitri before they were separated again but she knew she be grateful for having the time with she could, more than most guardians in lesser positions got with their loved ones, and the special family she had. She couldn't help feeling sad at the thought that Dimitri would be leaving in a couple of hours to help on a special assignment with a handful of other guardians halfway around the world while she stayed behind to guard Lissa. And she also couldn't help feeling guilty for not appreciating the time she had with the family that most people didn't have.
There was no winning. Maybe the holidays sucked after-all.
Dimitri gave her hand a quick squeeze before they joined their friends in a Christmas Eve celebration that was becoming annual. The look in his eyes mirrored her own and she knew he was thinking about their plight as much as she was. They shared a soft, brief smile, accepting that their wasn't much that could be done for the little, yet welcome, intrusions into their personal time, silently promising that they'd make it up to each other when they could.
"It was nice to see someone else get drunk and make a fool of themselves for a change," Rose said, grinning afterward at the new memories she had of Sydney poorly dancing and singing karaoke.
Poor Declan looked so confused and equally horrified at the sight of his usually very proper mother doing the running man on the coffee table. Rose laughed to herself, knowing this was a Christmas Eve that Syd wasn't doing to be able to live down for a while.
"It was definitely...unexpected," Dimitri agreed.
They scrubbed the last of the dishes, laughing quietly to each other as they replayed the night's exciting and family oriented events. The Christmas Eve dinner party had long since ended and Rose was feeling much better than she had when it first started. With the laughter of her friends and family ringing in her ears and the smiles on all of their faces clear in her head, she was grateful to have all the people in her life that she did, and considered herself lucky. She was glad the evening proceeded as planned, even if it meant less time completely alone with Dimitri, she couldn't have wished for a better way to spend Christmas.
She was grateful even more so for the little bit of time that she and Dimitri had left for the rest of the evening before he had to leave. They spoke less now, the apartment was quiet except for the soft billow of the curtains against the open window and the small clatter and tinker of the dishes as they finished cleaning up the kitchen. It was pretty much silent but completely okay. Sure, they didn't talk much but they never really needed to. They'd bump into each other, mostly intentionally, and share a silent smile followed by quick kisses that lingered longer the more often it happened.
Now that they were done, they stood in the living room, surveying that their cleanup was a quick success, and now they could rest. Despite the cool air, they settled outside on their patio, sinking into the soft cushions of their wicker couch and each other's arms while they watched the twinkle of the stars and slow fall of the snow. Dimitri tucked the edge of the throw blanket that they kept outside tighter around Rose's shoulders. He rubbed smooth circles against her jean covered calf as he held her legs propped on his lap.
"Maybe we should go inside," he suggested as she shuddered again.
She shook her head, nuzzling deeper into him. "Just a little longer," she said barely above a whisper.
He tried to lean forward to get a good look in order to see if her eyes were closed or not.
"Are you falling asleep on me?"
"No," she lied, through a yawn.
Dimitri wished he could snuggle down and drift off to sleep himself but he had to leave in less than an hour. He was glad that he had his bag packed ahead of time, glad that he hadn't listened to Rose who had insisted that he had plenty of time to pack since finding out about the trip. He couldn't imagine leaving the perfect spot he was in, even if his nose and cheeks were numb and he was losing feeling in the arm that Rose was wrapped around in. He hated to think of how it would feel when he had to leave soon.
"I'm staying awake," she insisted, knowing he could hear the previous lie in her voice. They went through this every year, trying to stay awake until midnight to watch Christmas Even roll in and every year one or both of them fell asleep, their bodies entangled and curled around each other. This time, it seemed it was Rose's turn to fight the heaviness in her eyes. She was also probably fighting to stay awake to wish him well and see him off when he had to leave as she usually did. The more time that passed, though, the harder the battle was becoming for her heavy lidded eyes. "Just keep talking to me," she insisted, undoubtedly realizing she was losing.
He wanted her to sleep. Sleep was an activity that rarely fit into their busy schedules. These last few weeks had been a fluke, a miracle gift of sorts to make up for the fact that for the first time, they wouldn't be together for the holidays. He wanted her to squeeze in a much sleep as she could, knowing she got even less than him, guarding the queen and all, even if it meant losing some of his time with her but it was worth it.
Rose was and would always be stubborn, though, so, knowing she'd fight sleep until the end, he thought about what he wanted to talk about. In fact, he thought about wanting the sound of Rose's laughter lingering in his mind long after he was gone, so he settled on making her laugh.
"I can't believe Jill made matching couples pajamas for everyone."
Rose burst into laughter right away. She had been close to tears at the priceless look on Christian and Lissa's face when they'd been the first to open their gift set of flannel, brightly patterned pajamas, rhinestones in certain places. She laughed even harder at Sydney and Adrian's silk pair, Mikhail and Sonya's yellow, and hers and Dimitri's. Jill hadn't been the least bit offended, even laughing with her once Adrian and Christian had even convinced to try theirs on.
"They were pretty amazing, though. I can't believe she made Abe a suit that bright though. I didn't think he could ever look anymore gaudy than he already dresses but alas, Jillian has proved me wrong. My mom and Daniella looked pretty surprised too."
"Albeit for different reasons," he agreed.
Janine Hathaway looked petrified at the thought of wearing such a nice blouse as the on Jill made for her and Daniella looked horrified at the thought of wearing something without a designer label. She seemed genuinely proud that Jill made everything by hand, though.
"All the gifts were pretty special this year. Yours was my favorite of course. But I may be a bit biased," she admitted. She loosened her hold around Dimitri to tug at the necklace that sat securely around her neck, the ring that dangled from the chain brushing the hollow of her throat with the words "a promise to my love for forever and afterwards" engraved on the light gold band.
"I'm glad you like it." He wrapped his hand around hers so that they could both admire the ring he'd quietly given her while everyone had been distracted with gifts. "But I have another gift for you that you'll like even more."
She sigh contentedly, settling her face against the warmth of his neck. "I don't think we have time for that kind of gift, Comrade. Unless you can be quick."
She felt the vibrations of his soft laughter before he started speaking again. "I wasn't talking about that," he said around a few more chuckles. "And by the way, I can always be quick with you. It's lasting with you wrapped around me that's the problem," he adds, whispering the last part in her ear. Rose shivers from his words and immediately sits up, planting her lips on his.
"Maybe we have a little time then," she suggests.
Before he can stop her, and not really trying to, she's straddling his lap in one swift move, her hands locked around his neck, brushing the ends of his hair, her mouth moving in a perfectly soft, warm and moist synchronization with his. His hands are already locked in her long tresses, pushing against her to get her body even closer to his if possible. The snow drifts around them, melting on the heat of each of their bodies. It feels like a perfect eternity has passed before Dimitri remembers he has something to give her, something to make her feel a little less lost when he leaves.
With great reluctance and show of his strength, he pulls himself away from her soft tenderness. Their foreheads rest against each other briefly before Rose is gently nibbling on his very sensitive skin, slowly peppering light kisses on his face while he tried to calm himself down enough to focus and talk.
"Believe me, if I could spend every second with you like this..." his words trailed off, unable to finish the thought, especially with Rose's gentle, heat inducing touches.
"You still have a little time until you have to go," she pointed out. "We can make pretty amazing memories to keep us occupied while you're gone. It's the usual way we send each other off," she reminded him.
He almost gave in to her distracting lips again, losing himself in the hypnotizing motion of her touch against his but he used a strength he didn't even know he had and held her steady, keeping her from moving or getting any more handsy than she already was.
He struggled to fish in his pocket for his phone, especially with Rose on his lap but she made no attempts to move and make it easier for him and he certainly didn't want her any further away from him now that he was reminded of her the affects of her touch. He finally pulled it out, swiping through his phone until he settled on one website in particular. He managed to settle Rose sideways across his lap in a less...seductive position, so that she could see for herself what he was trying to show her.
"...map of the world..." she read the title quietly aloud. She sat stone still for a long moment her eyes running over the website page that was easy to pick any location of the world with a swift touch of a finger. "Comrade, what is this?"
"I thought that we could go away for a while when I get back. I know that we don't know how long exactly this trip will take but whenever I do get back I thought that we should go somewhere. I already talked to Lissa and Hans about it. Christian's fine with Mikhail as substitute guardian for a while, for whenever he leaves court. Janine said she'd be willing to cover for your place in watch Lissa. It's all settled. We just have to pick where."
Immediately a memory appeared at the forefront of Rose's mind, a hot, humid day when she'd sat side by side the man she thought she'd never have her happily ever after with. Or as close to happily ever after as people with their life professions were capable of reaching. A musty library that temporarily shielded them from the weight and worries of the world outside while on the run and a heavy book settled between them where daydreamed of days and adventures spent anywhere but the nightmare they'd been in then. All they had to do was pick where.
"How long will we be away?"
"That's the best part. I was told that it's very likely that I'll be back by the end of January. Remember that Lissa plans on staying at court for-"
"Three months to catch up on the work she missed while finishing school," Rose finished for him excitedly. "Three months! Just you and me? No one else? Anywhere we want to go?"
"That's the plan," he nodded, his smile growing wide as the prospects of what they could and where they could go for three months ran through Rose's mind, her excitement growing as the seconds passed. Faster that he thought capable, she was suddenly hugging him, clutched onto his body like a magnet that he never wanted to be separated from.
"Where should we go! Should we stay continental? Can we afford to travel international? We have enough saved up, right? And we can stay in cozy cabins or maybe camping because even though I didn't think I'd like it, it was certainly fun last time being trapped in a tent with you. But no digging a hole in the ground as a bathroom. We stay near the closest thing to modern plumbing that we can find and then we can...or we can...ah! There just so much we can do!"
The possibilities were seemingly endless in her eyes and he didn't think it feasible, but he loved her even more in that moment, knowing that there was someone in the world so elated, light up like the Christmas tree that sat in their living room from the inside out, at just the idea of being with him, spending precious moments of her life with him.
He wanted to tell her, to interrupt her jabber with his proclamation, his discovery that he loves her more than he ever thought possible and that he's lucky to have someone who clearly loves him as much as he does her. She was just too darn cute though and his mind was too jumbled with the possibilities just as hers was. So he settled for the best display of affection he could think of.
He kissed her.
It wasn't just a simple kiss or one of the heated passionate kisses that set the ends of her toes curling and her body on fire. He smothered away her words, whatever they were, immediately blowing them away from her mind with the sincerity of the kiss. He held her face in his hands, brushing away her unruly strands blowing in the cool air while he stroked his lips with hers. There was a soft, barely audible pop, as they pulled apart. If that kiss didn't convey how much they meant to one another, the promising look in their eyes said it all.
It turns out that there had barely been enough time for the other kind of gift that Rose had mistaken Dimitri's surprise for before he left.
Even if there had been, Dimitri imagined that they would have made time, no matter the circumstance. They'd both been raised with the belief that duty came before a personal life. Dimitri had lived by that honorable code most of his life, willing to throw his life on the line for the sake of others without questioning it or thinking twice. He'd always be that type of person, willing to die so that others could live.
Not even Rose could change that.
What she did change for him was notion that duty came before all else. Yes, he would always be willing to give his life so that moroi or even his fellow guardian could avoid death but now...he had someone who would greatly feel repercussions of his demise. Yes, he had his family back home in Baia and the surrogate family that he'd found here with his friends and adopted siblings at court. He was socially aware enough to know that they'd feel loss and mourn if he were to ever "die" again but he also knew he'd be leaving one person in particular if he was so hasty in throwing himself into a path of danger.
Their entire lives revolved around protecting others from danger but willingly putting himself into situations that increased his odds of dying, sent a wave of fear through Dimitri that he'd never experienced before. Fear that he'd never live long enough to see the family that he settled into as well as the one that he was born into grow. He was scared of the prospect of missing out on a future with Rose, the one person in the world who was his completely opposite and yet understood him all the same, similar in the most minuscule of ways. His biggest worry was leaving her alone.
He knew she was stronger than most, that more likely than not she'd recover in one way or another if he were to ever perish but he's experienced the feeling of dark, hopeless loss at the possibility of being without her more than once now and he could only imagine that she felt the same way any time he left to help on raids or rescue assignments. She'd almost died right in his arms after taking a bullet for the queen and it was a nightmare he wouldn't wish upon his worst enemy, watching the life drain out of the eyes of the person you love most.
So, these days, knowing that there were people at home waiting for him, he treaded extra carefully while he was away. There were three thoughts keeping him going now: Rose's laugh, the memories that they made before she sent him off with the rest of the small caravan of guardians leaving, and the possibilities of the three month vacation waiting for him when he got back.
Which was why he fought the urge to immediately call her when it was announced by one of the other guardians in charge of the assignment that they were done and would be on the next flight home. All he had to do was get there, grateful he made another safe trip, he focused on one person in particular waiting for his return, thinking only of the possibilities and the future ahead. There'd be more assignments, more time they'd have to spend time apart, but each time, they'd be waiting for one another to return.
Rose was running on a similar autopilot, her thoughts flitting to Dimitri each time she had a free moment from her guardian duties. Even during her duties she wasn't entirely focused and that was unacceptable because it meant that Lissa wasn't getting the one hundred percent protection she needed and deserved.
"Well then I guess it's a good thing that I have a hundred back up guardians to protect me if you ever screw up because you're spacing out," Lissa had joked, when Rose voiced her own annoyance with herself.
"Hey, I'm the bad-ass protagonists in our life story. I'm the one that has to save the day but I won't fulfill my bad-ass protagonist duties if I'm over here spacing out. What the hell is the matter with me?" She groaned, face planting onto the couch in Lissa's office. "I never thought I'd be this type of girl," she muffled into the couch cushions much to the amusement of her friend. "I feel like one of those heroines that pines away for her man off at war while she stays home in despair. I didn't think I'd be so attached to a guy that I can't think straight. I thought I'd be the cool hit it and quit type, leaving men crying in my wake, begging for me," she described, dramatically, rolling onto her back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling as though confessing her darkest confessions to her therapist.
"We're gonna talk about your assassin fantasy later but let's focus on what's important. Dimitri isn't just some guy," Lissa reminded her as she skimmed through paperwork on her desk. "He's...your soulmate. I know that's the cheesiest thing I have ever said but when anyone sees you two in the same room together...even when you're not in the same room but you're talking about one another and the look that comes across your face or his face just lights up and...it's weird to describe but you're soulmates!" Lissa exclaimed. "And I think it's time you realized that."
The scary part was that Rose had realized this a long time ago. It was just that she didn't know what to do now that she was aware of just how much she was capable of loving someone else, of loving Dimitri.
She sat up on the couch and met the dancing emerald eyes of her best friend. She was smiling like a Cheshire cat.
"Why are you smiling?"
"Because..." she trailed off, leafing through unopened mail that had been piling up. "I had the same epiphany slash emotional overload breakdown that you're having right now. Remember?"
Rose shook her head. "I think I'd remember if you looked as bad as I'm sure I've looked the last month."
"True. I'm not as dramatic as you," she teased, eliciting an eye-roll from Rose. She wasn't being dramatic. She was just...feeling more emotions for one person that she ever thought she could and it was overwhelming to say the least.
"But remember when we couldn't make it back from Leigh in time for Christian's big opening night at the restaurant?"
Realization suddenly sank in as Rose remembered. "When you threw all of your law textbooks out the window? That was your meltdown? And you're calling me over-dramatic?" Rose asked, laughing afterward incredulously. "I thought you were just frustrated with finals again. I don't know if you realize this or not but you have a bad habit of book throwing when you're stressed."
"Okay fine, you and I are equally melodramatic but the point is that I had one of my mini meltdowns only this time it was different, because I couldn't be with Christian. I hadn't seen him in a couple of weeks and I started realizing that even when I wasn't with him I was thinking about him and thinking about being with him and consumed almost every spot in my mind until I told him," she explained. The papers on her desk were completely forgotten now as she seemingly recalled past pleasant memories.
"So you told him you were cuckcoo cocoa puffs for him and..." Rose prompted wanting to know how Lissa's other half had reacted to such a declaration.
"And then he proposed."
"That's why he proposed?! Are you saying Dimitri and I need to get married?"
"What? No? Remember what I said about your over-dramatics? Well this is you jumping to dramatics to the extreme! Calm down!"
Rose was already starting to to hyperventilate at the thought. She and Dimitri had barely ever discussed marriage but the idea that this strong current of emotional turmoil could only be cured by nuptials sent a cold streak of fear down her spine. Lissa was in front of her in an instant, patting her back and reminding her that she needed to maintain the small task of breathing in order to keep living.
"What I'm saying is that you guys need to talk. Maybe discuss that you guys are feeling the same way for each other, which you clearly are, and then talk about your future, you know? You guys have known for almost a decade now that you can have kids, that a normal life together is that far out of reach. It won't be picture perfect but it's possible. You guys just need to talk about it."
"Talk about the future?" Rose asked once she was a little bit calmer, only wincing once when thinking about Lissa's mention of kids. "What future?"
This was it. It occurred to her then that this was one of her worries, a worry that was fighting it's way to the forefront of her mind, that maybe, just maybe she wouldn't have a future with Dimitri. They had agreed a long time ago to just live day by day and treasure each as though it was their last and all that jazz. But there was always this fear that living day by day wouldn't mean much if one of them could be killed or die in an instant. It was only an inkling of a feeling but it was enough that Rose worried it'd consume her until she wouldn't know what to do about it anymore.
A small reassurance was all she needed to make it go away. A kiss like the one she and Dimitri had shared the night he left would suffice but she doubted that it'd be the same or that Lissa would even be willing to even if it mean easing Rose's worries away.
What if there was no future with Dimitri?
Their lives revolved around their willingness to give them up to protect others.
What if she never got her as close to a happy ending as possible ending?
Lissa's brow furrowed as the fears tumbled over in Rose's head. Maybe she was confused because she didn't understand. Anyone was capable of dying at any given moment but some, dhampirs especially, were more likely to because of their place in the vampire world.
"We're guardians," Rose started to explain. "It's practically expected of us to die before our time. Don't get me wrong," she continued, interrupting Lissa before she speak. "I know that times are changing, especially the last couple of years and that moroi have been fighting right alongside guardians but it's going to be a long time, an entirely different generation after us before the majority of people realize that dhampirs deserve to have lives to. Especially with their loved ones. Until then, we're expected to fight, to the death if necessary. And that scares me," she admitted. "I've almost died countless times, died twice! And I lost Dimitri once. What if our luck runs out and the next time one of us dies, there's no coming back?"
Lissa looked at a loss. The one woman in their society who always had something to say about everything, was stunned into silence.
"I don't mean to get all political and preachy. In fact, I'm not even sure how we got to talking about death but-"
"You love Dimitri," Lissa interrupted.
"Of course," Rose answered immediately, despite being taken off guard by the sudden question. "More than I can describe."
"He loves you."
"I know he does," she agreed, trying to see where Lissa was going with this.
"Your big fear here is that now that you're realize how much you mean to each other, it'll all be taken away in an instant."
Was that it? Was that the base of Rose's fears? Now that Lissa had said it aloud, it sure seemed right?
She didn't want to lose one of the greatest things in life she could have ever hoped for.
"We've lost a lot, Liss," Rose pointed out. "And I'm not...I'm not always a good person."
"Rose..."
"No really," Rose pushed on. "I used to be a bitch at the academy, especially before the accident and we both know it. I just don't want to be punished anymore for it. With if the universe is messing with me and is going to take Dimitri away now that I know how much he loves me?"
"I don't think it works like that."
"Then how does it work?" Rose asked, her voice cracking. For the first time in all of their friendship, Rose sounded like a scared child instead of the strong of adult she always evoked, even as a kid. Lissa settled herself on the couch beside Rose wrapping a secure arm around her shoulders. For the first time in their lives, Rose was going to Lissa for some serious answers to some big questions.
And Lissa didn't have them.
"I think...I think that's part of the adventure. No one really knows the future. That's why we fall back on faith and hope and even fortunetelling. Because we're looking for answers but ultimately...we just have to wait it out. I think you and Dimitri had it right. We just have to make the best of what we have while we have it as much as we can."
It was an exact answer that Rose was despairing over but it was enough of an answer to comfort her until Dimitri came home.
"So you're gonna talk to him?" Lissa pressed when Rose hadn't spoken in a while.
"Yes. We're gonna talk. Maybe have sex first but we'll definitely talk."
Lissa laughed, shoving her friend playfully away and tossing pillows at her. She was glad that Rose's little crisis was over. She had to admit, though, that she'd been a little wrong before in her speech though in saying that no one could one hundred percent predict the future because she knew without a doubt and hundred percent certainty that Dimitri and Rose were going to be just fine.
"June thirtieth. Five years ago. When we were in Baia, at that frozen lake you showed me, do you remember?" Rose asked. Her voice was hesitant, reluctant to disturb the quiet tranquility that had settled in their bedroom after spending the last couple of hours entangled in and around each other's bodies. Since their semi-spontaneous vacation started, they couldn't seem to quite get enough of one another. They satisfied each other without a doubt but there was always a crave for more and again until they were both left breathless and panting, with their bodies still connected and panting, blanketed by a thin layer of sweat and the warmth of one another.
They were a day into their vacation and Rose was already dreading having to ever go back to reality. The moment she had spotted Dimitri in one of the parking garages, unloading his duffel after a surprisingly short trip, she knew she had to take Lissa's advice and talk to him. But she decided that it could wait until their vacation started, after their reacquainted themselves. So here they were, a day into vacation in a small cabin on the sands of a secluded beach in the southwest and she was finally ready, if only to give their bodies a break, to talk
Dimitri didn't seem to mind Rose breaking the silence in the least. He laughed softly, the reverberations of his voice gently humming in Rose's ear when she had her head rested on his chest.
"When you slipped and land rear first in the snow? Of course I remember."
She smacked at his chest playfully but he only nuzzled the top of her head in retaliation, pressing a gentle kiss down before speaking again. "I remember but why do you bring it up."
"When we went to that small back house on your mother's land, to dry off and warm up?"
"It reminded us of the cabin back at the academy."
"We seem to have a thing for cabins," she mused. "Do you remember what you asked me at the cabin in Baia?"
Dimitri was quiet for a long time. In fact, a little too long. Rose sat up to read his face and she could see he was thinking, trying to decipher why she was bringing up the one time he'd seriously proposed. She hadn't turned him down flat. She told him she want to be older when she got married. He understood and all was well, as long as the promise of some sort of future was between them.
She sat up completely, easing herself out of his embrace and sliding off of his body so that she could talk to him face to face. His eyes flickered down once or twice to her chest so she knew that she had to cover up for this conversation even if it was flattering and cute that her body was capable of distracting him after all these years. She tucked the sheet around herself and he helped her, making sure she was warm and secure before sitting up himself, realizing how serious this conversation was becoming.
"I asked you to marry me."
She nodded. "Yeah and I told you I had wanted to wait and, being the amazing man that you are, you waited and waited and waited and you'd probably wait for forever for me."
He nodded immediately and Rose smiled, grateful to know that she knew him as well as she thought she did.
And then she started explaining.
"I'd wait for you too, just so you know."
"I know, Roza."
Roza.
That's all she needed to hear to become a nice pile of Rose goop on the bed. She refrained from doing so and simply shuddered. Dimitri fought a small smile at the affect he had on her before he became serious again. They usual danced around conversations like this, reaffirmations about their love for one another whenever they were reunited but something was different this time. There was something in the nervous way she suddenly couldn't seem to sit still or focus on him for too long.
"Roza, What's going on?"
She stiffened, looking alarmed for a second before relaxing. "Nothing bad, I promise. In fact it's good," she assured him. "I just...I really missed you when you left this time. I don't know why it was different this time but it was. I mean, I couldn't stop thinking about you and about us for even a second and that scared me because it was a lot...I mean I missed you a lot that it actually felt like it was consuming me-"
"I missed you too," he reassured her.
She smiled at his admission. "I know you did. I know you love me as much as I love you and I started thinking about that and what happens now that we now that and...I don't know I just started thinking about the future and then I hyperventilated at marriage and over-dramatics, Liss brought up kids and...it was just...it was hard when you were away and now that you're back I think we should talk. About all that stuff."
Dimitri was frozen, unmoving even the slightest inch except for the breathing and even that was minimal. Rose was sure he was trying to puzzle together her incoherent sentences, a habit she'd been picking up the more time she spent with Jill. It didn't take him long though to backtrack through her words and fit all her pieces together.
"I think we should too," he agreed. "But I think we should do this with clothes on because you're pretty distracting even with the sheet around you," he smiled, leaning forward to meet her in a kiss.
They both rolled out of the comfortable bed and cleaned themselves up in a nice shower together. They dressed in warm clothes to keep off the ending day's chill and the sea breeze before settling themselves on the patio that faced the hypnotic waves of the ocean. Dimitri came out with two hot chocolates, passing one to Rose as she twirled the ring necklace he had given her around her neck.
"That's a promise ring, you know."
She nodded, sipping her hot drink before setting down.
"I know. Even with the engraving, it took me longer than I'm willing to admit to realize that but I figured it out that it wasn't just a promise that you'd love me. You were promising much more too."
He nodded, lifting her legs onto his lap. "I meant to give this ring to you when I proposed the first time but I didn't have it one me and now I'm glad I didn't."
"Because I turned you down," she grimaced at the thought of any pain she may have caused him.
"No. Because it wasn't the right time. And I wanted the ring to have the promise sealed on it."
"I'm glad you waited to give it to me."
"Me too," he agreed as they both looked at the ring that was one of the few physical manifestations of their promises to each other.
"Maybe we should get you a ring to," she suggested, meeting his warm gaze.
A heartbeat passed before he said anything.
"Maybe...once you're ready, we will."
"And if I told you that I was ready now..."
"If that's the case, then, after we talk...we'll get one?" he suggested and she smiled so brightly he thought his heart would burst from his chest.
He had that feeling again, of being so completely certain of the life he had with someone who loved him with such conviction in the world, it was almost suffocating but in an oddly good way. He thought about what she'd said before, though, of the future and marriage and kids and hyperventilating and he knew they needed to talk just as she had realized it to.
He wondered when it happened, when she changed so much from the rebellious Rose Hathaway who was willing to fight with any and everyone just because she could into the even stronger woman in front of him. Whenever it happened, he was sad to only suddenly realize it because the woman before him was pretty amazing. Now all he had to do was make sure he never let her go.
They talked. Fears were tossed around, admissions with made, and promises were solidified with the vows they spoke to one another on the warm sands of the beach the next day, witnessed by a local preacher and his wife.
It wasn't perfect but it was enough.
They had both come to a few startling, yet satisfying conclusions...
That they could only live each moment loving each other and making it the best moments that they could, that despite fears and over-dramatics and hyperventilating that they married because it felt right but more importantly it was what they wanted. Rose had been scared at just the thought, yes, but once she talked everything out with Dimitri, hashing and flushing out the root of those fears, she brought herself to the realization that whether or not she made an official tie to Dimitri in the eyes of the law and deities she wasn't sure she believed him, she knew she wanted him and to be with him as long as life would let her. Dimitri came to a similar realization in seeing that whether or not Rose wanted to marry him, he'd still uphold his promise to not only wait for her but more importantly be with her.
It had been almost a decade since the wedding, another decade since they started their lives together, and he still couldn't seem to let her go. Nor did he want to.
He held her close whenever he could and the best part was that just as often and just as tightly, throughout all of the difficulties, fears, separations, pain, losses, gains, and new lives brought into their family, she held him right back.