Stupid Bet

Disclaimer: I do not own Disgaea 1 and D2. That belongs to Nippon Ichi.

Summary: Never make a bet with the ladies or they'll make you do something ridiculous.

Pairing: None

Rated: K+

Genre: Humor and Family (and that's stretching it)

Warning: Gender bender (and that comes with the unfortunate things such as boobies), swearing and unintentional OOC

For the Disgaea 30 Day Challenge (Day 1 is Laharl, Etna and Flonne). I'm not doing all of them FYI.

Why did he have some annoying vassals that could actually beat him at something if they put their mind to it? Why was he in the Dark Assembly asking for this magic bill to be past? Why were these demons approving of this disaster?

So Laharl wanted to promote himself even more in the Netherworld. Parades wasn't enough for the little Overlord so he wanted to go back to making those statues and this time, they would be made to his likeness instead of Etna's crappy design. Etna honestly didn't want to do it though because she had something more important to do. Laharl didn't want to hear it and the two ended up bickering that ended up in Flonne suggesting they make a bet and whoever won got to do whatever they wanted. Laharl thought he would win whatever it was since Etna was his vassal but something had to go wrong.

Apparently Flonne spent her hel on a Sii U and then bought the new racing game Mario Kart 8. It was popular in the human world and Flonne was a fan of this series (what wasn't Flonne a fan of?) The minute she bought it, she dragged Sicily to play against her and when one person wasn't enough, Flonne stole Xenolith away from Etna. The three haven't come out of that room ever since except when Xenolith left to get the girls some food. The entire time he kept a straight face and Etna wondered if spending time with those two otakus was torture or was he actually enjoying it.

Regardless the bet was Laharl and Etna playing a single round on Rainbow Road in Mario Kart 8. Whoever beat the other would win…and Sicily and Xenolith ended up playing sides to influence the outcome. Sufficient to say, Laharl wanted to kick them both out of his castle after losing.

Between falling off the road to being hit by shells of all types, the game was designed to make Laharl lose even if he knew how to play the game. They didn't set any rules except who was in the lead so it was okay to hinder or help the players. The Overlord just assumed Xenolith was ordered to help Etna and camp in the back since he wasn't going to win anyway. Why did the mystery box keep getting a lightning bolt? Every time Laharl was jumping over a gap, the lightning bolt would hit and most of the time he didn't make the jump. Now in this game, its easier to get back into the game once you fell off but it still didn't change the fact that everyone pushed you out of the way during that process.

Of course Xenolith moved eventually when he got the star or bullet bill and whenever that happened, he literally knocked over all the other people (yeah they were playing online with others. Laharl could have sworn that he saw a familiar name on that list).

Then you got Sicily who was trying to help her brother but she was having so much fun that she often bumped into him before speeding off with a mushroom in hand. Laharl was alone in this game and once Etna made it to the finish line after her older brother decided to get ahead of everyone and hit Laharl with the starman, it was over.

"Xenolith, what the hell!" The bluenette cursed.

Again he kept his stoic expression as Etna chuckled.

"Good job big brother." She replied in a snarky tone.

He didn't respond…probably because he was trying to keep his smirk in check. No way was he enjoying beating up on little kids that played the game.

"Dammit Etna! You cheated! You had your brother help you out!"

"You had your sister help you out too."

"She was useless!"

Sicily pouted when Laharl called her that.

"Laharl, you shouldn't call Sicily useless. She tried her best!"

Flonne was going to be the first one to step in to defend Sicily's honor in kart racing.

"Besides, a loss is a loss and Etna won."

Etna smirked seeing how Laharl wanted to back out at that moment. When Etna wanted something, she always got it and it was always something incredibly stupid or incredibly embarrassing or both…

"So Prince…this is what I want you to do…"

The stupid thing Etna wanted him to do was to bring back the cute Laharl during that epidemic when he was transformed into a girl and Etna gained purple hair. That magic was still lingering in the Netherworld and was collected by a few selective demons. So once the bill was past to use that magic, then they had to go find that demon and have him or her cast the spell that would only last on two conditions. The bill to use the magic to turn back was one way or to set a date on how long they had to remain in that form.

Etna wanted Laharl to stay as a girl for at least a day. The redhead wanted to envy Laharl's chest to give her a justification to beat him up as a girl (not like she already did that anyway but she wanted something to be mad about especially after Laharl dragged her back after the Veldime incident). There was another reason though. Xenolith missed out on the shenanigans that occurred while he was too busy kidnapping angels. Despite believing that Laharl was the Overlord and Sicily was his younger sister easily, he did not believe that the power of the Netherworld could cause such a disturbing occurrence.

Once that bill was past and they got the magic though, he was proven wrong. Etna was disappointed that even with Laharl's "disgusting" appearance that Xenolith still kept his poker face. Was there anything that allowed him to drop the façade?

Almost immediately after becoming a girl again, the demons in the Netherworld castle swarm Laharl demanding his autograph amongst as well as making sexual innuendos his way. Some of the demons were so senile, they didn't realize Laharl-chan was the Overlord they swore to serve and protect (but not that often).

"Uhh…this is so annoying! Flonne, get them away from me!"

Flonne didn't want to. Like Etna she glared at the gigantic bosoms that attached themselves on Laharl's body. Every time he made some sort of movement, they jiggled earning another cheer from the perverted demons.

"…I don't want to."

"Oh come on! Sicily!"

"Coming big bro-"

Etna and Flonne wouldn't let Sicily help either. Sicily did not understand why they were so angry at the concept of having a small chest. Whatever happened to petite pride?

"Sorry big brother!"

"Dammit!"

Looking around though, it seemed that more demons got into the castle once word spread about how their lovely idol was back and it wouldn't take long until they surrounded the busty Overlord. No matter how many times he cursed and told them to back off followed by punching them out of the castle, they still came back.

"…There are too many demons." Xenolith stated the obvious.

While it was obvious that too many demons were coming in, Etna noticed the tone her older brother was using. She may not know much about him despite how long he's been in the castle, but she picked up that he doesn't like it when too many demons are in one place. It wasn't really claustrophobia but at the same time, Etna could understand that being alone for so long could make you uncomfortable. Still…it was annoying how she still didn't get a reaction from him…

"Hey Prince! We'll help you out! You'll just have to follow my orders for the rest of the day until it wears off!"

"Fool! When you word it like that, this will never wear off! And no, I will not let you take my spot as the Overlord!"

"Oh darn…"

More punching and kicking the random demons out and it wouldn't be long until they started to dog pile the Overlord for some fun. It wasn't a pleasant sight to watch from a distance.

"God dammit, get off! I'm your damn Overlord! Why can't you recognize that?!"

"Maybe we should help Laharl…" The fallen angel mumbled. "I can't see him anymore now."

"Prince, if you beg for help, then I'll have you do anything that doesn't concern taking your spot!"

She was still going for it…

"Is this really the time for this Etna?"

While the normal demons were one thing, when dragons and rifle demons started coming in, maybe it was about time to close the doors.

"I think our Overlord has attracted every demon possible…"

Etna groaned seeing it wasn't just male demons that were jumping onto the pile, but there were succubus, nekomata and the sea angels there as well. What was coming out of his body?! Was it safe?

"…Xenolith, get rid of all the demons…even the ones that live here."

"Understood."

The girls watched as Etna's older brother was gone in a flash charging through the mob and with one attack usually sent them flying outside the castle. He wasn't even going to use his full strength anymore but he put on an entertaining show even with the stronger demons. There was at least one pause during the attack followed by a yelp from Laharl. Etna wondered what happened but she wouldn't get her answer once the two joined together to kick the remaining demons out. They cried and scream their idol but Laharl wanted none of it.

"Prinnies, lock the door!"

"You got it dood!"

The Prinnies were the only ones that didn't jump on Laharl, but that was probably for the best. If they did, they would have blown up and would have to work even harder under Etna and since she was watching, the temptation would have to wait. They gathered together to force the door shut even as the demons of the castle were calling out to the Overlord to not shut them out too. It was only temporary though, but hearing some scratch on the door was downright obnoxious.

Etna giggled seeing as how she got the Overlord worked up. She could still get him to do something for him-

"Dammit! Go away you pervert!"

"…It was an accident."

The girls went over to the bluenette and noticed how obviously flustered he was. He wouldn't put his sword away even after the threat was gone.

"Yeah right! You took advantage of the chaos to do that! I thought you had more self control!"

"It was an accident."

An evil cat smile appeared on Etna's face as she suddenly clung to her brother making him flinch instantly.

"Big brother, what did you do to our Princess?" She hummed. "Did you rile her up?"

This was followed by an agitated sigh from her older brother. Well someone wasn't taking the joke well.

"Xenolith…you didn't did you?" Sicily had to ask.

"Xenolith…"

"It was an accident." He was this close to raising his voice but no one was going to listen to him now. Putting his sword away he turned to leave. "…If you need me for anything Etna, you know where to look."

"Umm but I did not tell you to…"

The older demon shut her (and everyone) out at this point as he (kind of sort of) stormed off (probably to Etna's hidden library where there was absolute quiet. At least she got a reaction out of him, but…

"Etna, he's under your watch. Make sure he doesn't get anymore grabs on me afterward."

Etna kept snickering at the thought of her older brother being a pervert. Only when he does something accidentally does he apparently get flustered. Too bad she didn't see his expression.

"Sorry Prince."

"Yeah you're not sorry." Laharl grumbled. "And now I'm hungry. Sicily, let's go. You're going to make me a snack."

Sicily happily complied as she trotted after her older brother who was still rambling on about how stupid demons get when they look at his chest. Flonne would join them shortly but…

"Etna, I know you made the bet more to get a reaction out of Xenolith more than Laharl, but try not to fight with him too much. He seemed really upset."

"What? It's probably just a guy thing anyway. He probably never touched anyone before and it just happened to be someone underage."

"Etna…that probably isn't helping."

Etna rolled her eyes knowing she would have to make it up to the redhead eventually. Once Flonne went off, the young succubus went straight to the library. She noticed that Xenolith was sitting with his back turned leaving himself wide open if she snuck up behind him. That was what she intended to do…but he got her first when something dusty fell on her head and she ended up letting her presence be known when she opened the door.

"What the? Not the oldest trick in the book!"

The older demon didn't turn around even after the successful prank. The longer he stayed with Etna, the longer he did pick up on some of her not so pleasant habits and unlike Etna, he got away with it because no one would expect him of pulling it off.

Coughing and shaking the dust off, she closed the door so no one would see her in that state.

"…Since you won't pass the bill to show off your purple hair, I'll just see for myself what you look like now is what you were."

Growling, Etna went over to Xenolith and shook the dust in his general direction getting it on his black coat. Naturally this resulted in him pushing her away.

"…So you really did touch them?"

"It was an accident."

The response was getting faster and faster every time it was asked and the faster he responded, the more apparent that he was guilty of it.

"Was it really an accident?"

"It was an…yes it was."

So you corrected yourself. Etna thought to herself with a smirk as she sat down next to him. He didn't want to be close to her with the obvious dust in her hair. "I find that hard to believe. You analyze the battle better than any of us, so I find it hard you would miss something as big as that…ugly chest."

"Your envy is showing."

"And so is your lust!"

No way was she going to apologize to her big brother now. He can go to hell for insinuating that she was jealous of her prince having a larger chest.

"…Give it 500 more years and you'll probably have at least an average size."

"Oh…wait…what do you mean probably? And I don't want to wait that long!"

The only light in the library were a few candles. The candles flickered at the moment Xenolith probably dropped his façade to roll his eyes in annoyance but once the light became slanted enough to see his face, it was still the same stoic expression.

"But why are you such in denial, unless…"

"…Drop it."

He was on the verge of raising his voice again. Etna would probably have to ask another time, but…

"Fine. I'll let it slide for now. Just play that game with me again before Flonne and Sicily hog it. I want to beat you this time instead of you helping me. I don't like it when you camp out and just let everyone beat you."

"If I play, then you'll lose and then start crying."

"Oh no you did not just…Xenolith! Get out of here! We're playing! And if you even look at Laharl's chest when he gets back into the room, I'll have your tail!"

These sibling moments were becoming more frequent after Etna lost her powers. For the rest of day, the siblings would be playing with the Sii-U until Laharl's group came in to finish what they started. The deal that the two made would be forgotten until it came time to change him back to his original gender.

But when that happened the next day, the whole Dark Assembly resisted and Xenolith also voted against it for whatever reason met it…

Laharl did not take this reveal to well when it was rejected. The assembly did not care about being beaten by the beautiful Overlord. Once he kicked them around a few times by himself, they happily passed the bill. In contrast, Etna was not going to let Xenolith forget what he did and this time he didn't have the excuse that it was an accident (even if he protested that Etna told him to vote against Laharl. No one was going to believe him at this point.)

Laharl learned though that you don't make a stupid bet with his vassals especially manipulative ones like Etna. He was this close to remaining a girl forever if that bill didn't pass and he sure as hell wasn't going to be a woman again as long as he lived!

Me: Done with 3778 words.

Li: You want that game?

Me: Hell yeah but I got no money! This story is totally not promoting Mario Kart 8!...But of course I'm waiting for Smash Brothers too…notes!

1. I changed the name of the Wii U to the Sii U because of how the brand names are changed for each system such as Mao's PSP being the Slay Station Portable. Just as the bun for the Wii is "Wii would like to play" the Sii would be "Sii U later".

2. The five all have their own playing style based on the average Mario Kart player.

Laharl would be the aggressive person who goes for first place and ends up suffering the consequences of trolls who just want to ruin everything and the players who constantly are fighting for first place but never passing intentionally to avoid the blue shell. Laharl is also the most likely to rage quit.

Etna in contrast is that player who knows to stay behind first place while not passing them up until a blue shell hits them. She's also the type to plan things out when it concerns blue shells. Now that we can destroy the blue shell now though, she can be just as aggressive once she gets the horn.

Flonne is just the player that wants to have fun, but when she's too into it, she'll go into a frenzy and start yelling at the game. At the end of the day, she's glad that it was exciting.

Sicily is the player who leans between not being a good player but is just fine having fun just trying to complete the stage and focus on her accomplishments instead of focusing on the other racers. She pats herself on the back if she does better than the last time.

Xenolith to me would be the player that just stays in the back intentionally to throw the better items like the blue shell or the lightning bolt. Xenolith does not expect to win so he might as well make things hell for everyone else. And he does this with a straight face and only smirks if he gets a reaction from Etna who plans everything out except when the back player is intentionally screwing you over. Still it's just an amusing sight to see someone who is pretty much 27 in human years beating up 13 year olds in a video game.

3. The first time Xenolith groped Laharl it was an accident. He stretched out his hand like he does in his sprite but ended up touching him by accident. Yeah nothing came of it except Laharl thinking he was a pervert. The second time is up to interpretation but it's not out of Xenolith's character to obey Etna and then get accused for something he didn't do later. (And gameplay wise, your allies for some strange reason will vote against you even at 99% love. Thanks Fenrich). Etna is obviously the sin of envy with how her cameos are usually about how envious she gets of a characters breast size more than her anger or lust. Xenolith I rather joke about him being lust (even if I see him more as sloth given his inability to come clean). When I do the Xenolith/Etna one shot for the Disgaea challenge, I'll probably elaborate on why he doesn't like conversations like this (even if its obvious that he's such a gentleman).

4. I can imagine that overtime if Xenolith wasn't turned into a Prinny (either he's an Un-Prinny or returned back to normal for some reason) that he and Etna would have it easy to just form their relationship again. Etna left rather quickly between D2 and Disgaea 2 making it hard to establish anything but after Disgaea 2 and beyond, they can easily fall into a pattern. Etna is a troll, so Xenolith would probably catch on but because he's so honest, its rather hard for him to follow through with being a troll unless it concerns Etna and even then he probably thinks he's stepping on eggshells and is careful on what he does (while at this point Etna wouldn't care).

Longer than expected (but that's how it always ends up), but I'll probably end up writing for Axel (but I don't know what). This is just a failed attempt at comedy (even though all Disgaea stories I write tend to be serious) but reviews are appreciates. Ja ne!