A/N: So... I found this chilling at the very end of my notes app on my phone. It was meant to be for 7DOVP, but, um, I kind of suck. So, I hope you enjoy this. Let me know, drop a review.
She pushed him up against the bedroom door in a surprising show of strength.
He didn't care.
His mind screamed you that it was wrong, so wrong. He heard his mother's words pinball around his brain.
"Never lie to your friends, Andre. They'll always stand by you."
Well, that was before she left, wasn't it?
Who was standing by him now?
He tried to convince himself he didn't care as he unbuttoned her top and stroked the tanned skin it left before him.
He wasn't sure what he thought, really.
It wasn't love.
He knew that.
Love was a horrible, parasitic emotion that fed off all the others, leaving him totally and completely absorbed with the girl he wanted but would never have.
Her hands wandered as much as his did - not hesitating to yank his top off and pepper his chest with kisses.
She didn't love him either.
In fact, she wasn't quite sure what love was - but if it existed, she felt it for another.
Cat wasn't sure how to cope with the awkward (yet strangely loveable) Jewish boy, so she didn't.
She hated herself for it every day.
She saw the boy trying to make his advances in the sweetest, most embarrassing ways possible.
She just didn't know how to how to accept them, for fear of him not accepting her.
When it wasn't love, you didn't have to accept.
And that was just fine for Cat and Andre. There was a mutual not-accepting between the two.
They both didn't accept the way she would cry after they finished in bed, and they both didn't accept the way he would begin her name with a Tor- and change it to a Cat.
They didn't accept that they had to sneak around, because they hated it. When they would meet up, they both didn't accept the hatred on each other's faces. They didn't hate each other, they just hated what they were doing.
And they didn't even know why they were doing it. It wasn't like it felt... Correct in any way. It felt all incorrect. Like trying to piece a puzzle together in the wrong order.
It's like two wrongs don't make a right.
Two broken people don't make a whole person.
It was like a temporary bandaid, really. When they were together, they could stop feeling so shit about themselves just for a little while.
When they were together, they could scrunch up their eyes so tight that they couldn't open them until the end if they wanted to, and they could almost feel the ghosting hands of their desired lovers across their skin.
It was so full of lust, and sadness, and hopelessness, and emptiness that all the wrong in it just fell into the endless black cavern of despair they were both feeling.
His mom had been the one to hold him together.
Then she left and he fell apart.
She never really was completely there - but since her parents and brother moved away, she lost the small, thin thread of reality she was hanging in to with all her might completely.
It was almost like she didn't know what she was doing with Andre.
Or, at least she didn't know what she was doing with Andre was wrong.
But, if he looked into her eyes for long enough, he saw that flicker of understanding that she hid so well underneath the childish act.
He hated seeing that. It made everything real.
They were both just trying to hide behind a dark façade of ignorance that they put there to protect their feelings, when it was really only hurting them more.
He would never be with Tori. She was too bright for him, too shiny. Too new. He would tarnish that. He would scratch her shiny surface - and who knew what was underneath? He couldn't risk that. He wouldn't risk that.
She would never be with Robbie. He deserved to be able to walk down the halls with someone and not get weird stares. She couldn't do that. She saw them. The pitying glances. And she didn't want Robbie to be the one that had to deal with them. She couldn't put him through that. He wouldn't out him through that.
He roughly threw her onto the bed as if she weighed nothing.
She didn't care.