The idea

by Thesofiaidea

Have you ever had an idea that wont leave your mind, an idea that is always present, haunting you everyday and you can not sleep or think in anything else? Something has grown inside you.

It just started as a tiny idea, a clumsy and small thought, like a seed that is carried away in the wind and happens to land inside you. Somehow someone said something or you saw it on the streets, maybe it was not supposed to hit you and the idea was not for you, it was for someone else.

Slowly the seed begins to grow, you did not watered it, you did not take care of it and certainly you did not want it inside you, because once it starts to grow its roots it is no turning back. You will try to avoid it and pretend it is not happening. But the point is you can not fell the idea because it will only grow again and again, every time stronger. You can not do anything else than watch it grow, and when the branches of that small clumsy idea, are wrapping you, holding you so tight that you can not move, you can not think, you can not breathe, you finally turn your head up, not wanting to, but knowing that there is no escape of that big idea that has set roots, you find yourself surrendering to it.

To the idea that THAT is not good enough. That the choices you had made are not good enough, the things that you had done along the way were not as the way they were suppose to be, that the words you had said were wrong, were a lie, you surrender to the idea that you wish you had made things differently.

Finally when you give up in that late night, when you can not sleep, when you try to close your eyes but the dreams do not come, and the clock keeps ticking, unstoppable, every second louder, tick, tick, tick, you promise yourself that the next day you will change, things will change. Because in your mind there is no escape of the thought that has grown so big, you can not imagine continuing to live your life as the way you had. The next day you will be true, you will do what you want to do and choose what you want to choose. You repeat your promise over and over again, you imagine the days that will follow this revolution that is going on inside your head and you can see the images as bright as day, you can almost touch the feeling that is going to change you. You will not wake up the next day and look in the mirror the defeated person you have become, you will face the bag under your eyes, your colorless skin, the tiredness, and as you look straight in to those eyes you will remember about what you thought last night.

Lying in your bed in the night, on your last thought before you finally fall asleep you promise, you promise you will not forget and you will change the next morning.

The idea has taken over you.

Hi, so this is my first short story, I hope you liked it (I really do). English is not my first language so excuse me for the mistakes you may find (I hope not). I will be so grateful if you can let me know what you think or the mistakes you had found. Thank you for reading me and I hope that the idea will also grow on you.