Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or Narnia. They belong to C.S. Lewis.
It should have been better than this.
Coming back to England was quite the shock, and that night the siblings kept each other company. Earlier they had talked with the Professor, who had been some help. Yet his story of having gone to Narnia did not entirely comfort the Pevensies, because it didn't take away from the fact that they were no longer in Narnia.
Peter paced the bedroom, muttering to himself and occasionally glancing over at his siblings, almost as if to see that they were still awake.
Susan was sitting on one of the beds with Lucy, looking down at the blanket and leaning against her sister. She looked saddened by everything.
Edmund was on the other bed, watching Peter walk back and forth with a thoughtful but sombre expression and not saying a word.
Lucy alternatively glanced at all of her siblings. She honestly had no idea what to do, but she knew she didn't want to be sad. She missed Narnia more than anything, but she wasn't sure if being upset would solve any of their problems.
Suddenly Peter stopped in the middle of the room and turned to his siblings. "Why on earth would Aslan have us become kings and queens of a country, have us bring it into a golden age, only to tear us out without warning?"
"Perhaps Narnia didn't need us anymore," Edmund suggested. "Or we didn't need Narnia."
"Narnia not need us?" Peter repeated, his voice hollow. "Who do you think is going to take our place?"
"There were a lot of perfectly respectable humans in Narnia who could have taken our place."
Peter ran a hand through his hair and sighed. It was odd, seeing him only thirteen years old. They were all so used to seeing him older. "Why would we not need Narnia?"
"Because we need Aslan," Lucy answered. Her voice was soft and her eyes were wide. She sounded extremely certain of what she said, but she seemed uncertain about how her siblings would receive it. "Narnia isn't what we needed so much as we needed Him, you know."
"I'm not sure about that," Susan said. "Narnia mattered a lot. The land, the people…How could you say we didn't need it?"
"Narnia didn't make us kings and queens," Lucy pointed out. "Aslan did. He showed us how we could be great through Narnia."
"And Narnia didn't save me, nice a land as it is," Edmund added. "Aslan saved me."
Peter's stare went from Lucy to Edmund and back again. He smiled. "You two are so much wiser than your years."
"Actually, we are as wise as our years," Lucy corrected with a wry smile. "Don't let our appearances fool you."
"This is going to be a problem," Susan said, looking around at all of them. "We all look so young, and we're adults. We can't be like this in front of everyone. The Professor understands, but I don't think our parents and teachers and anyone else will."
"True," Peter said. He shook his head and his smile disappeared. "I don't relish the idea of having to act younger than I really am."
"Perhaps," said Susan, with a hint of uncertainty, "we would do well to forget what happened."
All three of her siblings stared at her disbelievingly. Only Lucy was able to articulate a response, and it was, "How could you say such a thing?"
"I don't know," Susan said, looking distressed. "I just think it would be easier. I know that isn't what we ought to do, but we can't keep on dwelling on our being kings and queens in Narnia when we're just children here."
"We can't forget who we are," Lucy insisted. "We still are kings and queens, even if no one else knows it and even if we aren't in Narnia anymore. I don't think Aslan would want us to forget and become regular children. We gained something in Narnia, and I think it would be best if we kept that something here as well."
"Still," Edmund said, "that isn't going to make things any easier. Although," he attempted a smile, "it will be quite the challenge. And we do like challenges." He and Peter exchanged shaky grins, trying to make light of a dark situation.
"Do you think we'll go back?" Susan asked.
"Yes," Lucy answered without a moment's hesitation. "I don't think Aslan would send us away forever without warning us. It isn't like Him."
"Then it seems we have something to look forward to," Edmund said.
The conversation came to a halt at this point. It seemed as though the siblings had nothing more to say, or couldn't think of anything more to say that wouldn't wreck the temporary hope they had gained. Each of them felt suddenly very tired and they noticed it was late. Peter and Edmund said goodnight to their sisters and retreated to their room on the other side of the hallway.
It wasn't until the lights were off and Edmund's breathing was beginning to even out that Peter found something else to say.
"I wish it was better than this."
He wasn't sure what he was talking about. He had thought, in the past, that if they ever returned to England it would have been a smoother transition; they would have been warned, they would have prepared. A part of him also wished that England, as a place, was better. He knew Aslan was more present in Narnia than in England, and he found that Lucy was right. Aslan was what made Narnia a better place. He missed Aslan here.
Peter could only hope their return to Narnia (if they even returned) would be better than this.