I Won't Bring You Flowers Anymore, You Never Did
"If I had to make a choice, I would always choose you"
Soft tears trickled down, running like a river down flustered cheeks before hitting the floor that had since formed into small puddles of the wooden floor. Tucked into the furthest part of his room Vi-sion sat against the corner face hidden in his hands as he sobbed uncontrollably.
"Why? Why?" he cried, he sobbed, all those tears running from his sapphire blue eyes, looking into his lap his eyes scanned the picture on his lap, those soft curls of brown, those innocent brown eyes, and warming smile that glowed brighter than the sun. He fell in love the first time he saw those eyes and that smile. Bringing him small gifts and admiration,
"So what the hell did you hurt me!?" gripping tightly on the frame he narrowed his blue eyes that now surged like a typhoon, a storm of emotion. With a crash the glass shattered to pieces against the sky blue wall. Vi-sion stood up and began stomping around the room
"I gave you may heart!" he smash another picture
"I brought you flowers!" he through the vase against the mirror shattering the glass onto the floor
"I made you food! Helped you with homework, remembered all your piano recitals, I loved you! I loved you, you bastard!" he screamed grabbing anything and everything that reminded him of the one he once loved. All the small mementoes' pictures and dairy pages professing his love and placing it all in the garbage,
"No matter what I do you always choose him…"
"I burn it all! Every last thing!" he narrowed his eyes at the pile and grabbed a pack of matches from his dresser drawer,
"Vi-sion are you…Vi-sion!?" a voice said, looking to the side he saw a tall figure with long light curly violet hair, "What have a told you?" they scolded
"If you want to burn something in spit you do it outside!" they said
"Sorry" he apologized
"Good boy" they said, "Dinner will be ready in a minute" with that they left the boy to his devices
The Next day,
All around the school students were abuzz with talk and chatter, mostly because Saturday was the St. Valentine's Day dance. Students went around asking one another to be their dates,
"Good morning" Serge greeted as he entered the classroom to see his two friends Karl and Pascal
"Morning" they said, as he went to talk to the two males he noticed something, a certain someone's desk was missing,
"Huh?" he blinked, "That's strange?"
"What's Strange?" Karl asked
"Vi-sion is usually here by this time" he said looking at his watch
"Maybe he's running late"
Only a few moments later Vi-sion walked into the classroom, books in hand and eyes closed.
"Oh there you are" Serge said noticing the boy walk in, "We were just talking about you and…" Vi-sion made no sound passing by the gypsy boy. Serge blinked, confused as he watched the blue haired boy place his books on his desk and took his seat.
"Well that was…interesting" Pascal removing himself from his book
"That was strange, I've never seen Vi-sion just pass Serge without saying anything" Karl added confused and shocked
"Alright class please take your seat and let's begin" the teacher said as the students took their seats and began the lesson, thought throughout the entire lessen Serge couldn't help looking towards the side to where Vi-sion sat and couldn't help but wonder what was wrong. Was he upset? Usually at this time Vi-sion would hug him in the morning and be talking to him none stop, but he just passed him by. Now he was actually paying attention to the lesson, no winks, air kisses, not even a glance,
As the bell rang to end class, Vi-sion quickly grabbed his books and headed out of room. Not a sound or word to anyone. It continued like that, class after class, Vi-sion wouldn't spare Serge not a glance or a single word. He didn't bring him lunch; he didn't sit with him during study time, wherever Serge was Vi-sion would walk away.
At his locker the blunette was putting his books away,
"Hey Vi-sion?" a voice said, silence, "Are you okay?" the owner of the voice asked, but still received no answer, Serge's smile fell as the silence continued
"Vi-sion is something wrong? Are you upset?" he asked voice worry, closing his locker Vi-sion didn't even glance at Serge before turning and walking the other way.
"Vi-sion?", Serge began walking after the other who quickened his pace everytime the other got close, Serge kept calling the others name over and over, but he would continue to ignore him.
"Vi-sion!" he grabbed the others arm, with a jerk Vi-sion turned around, blue eyes that once used to look at him like a calm sea, now raged like a typhoon ready to drawn who ever looked inside,
"Why aren't you talking to me?" he said obviously upset by the others silent treatment, "All day you've barely even looked at me or spoken a single word to me, now tell me what's wrong" Vi-sion only glared at the other, his cheeks puffed out
"Go. To. Hell" he hissed wrenching his arms out of the other's hand as he stared at the other in shock,
"Vi-sion!?"
"No! Leave me the hell alone!" he yelled further shocking the other
"But…"
"Just, don't talk to me anymore!" with that he stormed off leaving the other in the hallway confused. What happened to make the blue haired boy so mad at him. As the week continued it was all the same, Vi-sion wouldn't say a word to Serge, he didn't give him small presents, follow him around, in general he avoided to Serge completely. It was Thursday now, lunch time, forgoing lunch Vi-sion decided to go to the school's library, he wanted to be alone. Sitting on the floor of one of the isles blue eyes scanned through the book in his laps,
"Surprised to find you here" a voice said, looking to the side he spotted a familiar face of Karl standing next to him,
"Is there something I can help you with?" he said eyes never leaving his book, "I'm just a little surprised" he started taking a seat next to the other, "Usually at this time you would be giving Serge one of your daily homemade lunches" he said
"Hm, I'm not his mother, he can get his own lunch" he rebutted still focusing on his lunch
"That's actually one of the things I wanted to talk to you about" he stated, "You've been rather…distant lately" he said
"Oh I haven't noticed" his voice lined with sarcasm
"You also seem to avoid Serge a lot now, which is strange because you usually always cling to him" he said
"Your point"
"I don't mean to get in others business, but if something's bothering you should talk to someone about it" he said, Vi-sion just looked at his book, "Think about" he said before rising up and walking out of the isle leaving the other.
As the school day ended Vi-sion grabbed his back pack from his locker, placing it on his back he closed the metal and began his walk down the hall. Stopping at one of classrooms, Vi-sion had gotten a note from his professor saying he wanted to meet with him after class, he swore if this was another talk he was going to scream. Opening the door he found the room empty, the note said 3:30, but it was only ten after three so he had a good twenty minutes to spare.
"This better not be a trick" he was not in the mood for jokes, the door clicked signaling it was opened, "finally" he thought as the door opened, but it wasn't the teacher who opened it. No it was last person he needed to see…
"Vi-sion?", Serge said surprised to see the other
"Serge…" he was about to say something, biting his lip he decided to forgo it
"Um…what are you doing here?" he asked as Vi-sion looked off to the side, "I got a not saying Professor Watts wanted to see me" he said
"I got a note to, weird" he said, but sighed when Vi-sion didn't acknowledge him
"You…um look well, I haven't seen you in awhile" he trying to break the awkwardness in the room, with another sigh he sat in one of the chairs to wait for the teacher. Time seemed to move slowly as the two sat in silence. Looking to the clock regularly, it showed it was 3: 40, but still no teacher.
"I wonder what's holding Professor Watt's?", Serge thought noting
"He better hurry up, I have things to do" Vi-sion said tapping his fingers on the desk, time ticked by and it was now ten minutes to four,
"That's it" Vi-sion said suddenly raising and heading for the door, "I'm going home"
"What about the teacher?"
"That's what he gets for being late" with that Vi-sion prepared to leave when suddenly he noticed something strange, "What's wrong?"
"This door" he kept turning on the door knob which stuck, "It's locked!"
"Huh?" Serge walked over to the door knob grabbing it, he twisted finding it was truly locked,
"Hello?" Serge began knocking on the door hoping someone would hear them and let them out
"Great" he scoffed moving from the door, "Locked in this stupid room!" Vi-sion said irritated someone enjoyed toying and making his life miserable.
"Maybe we should call someone" Serge said, "Do you have your phone?" he asked, surely they wouldn't ignore given the present situation.
"This doesn't mean I'm speaking to you" he stated, "It's in my locker" he said crushing the brunettes plan.
"I guess we just wait until someone comes" he sighed sitting on a desk top
As the minutes passed, the room was deadly quietly as the two students waited for someone to come and let them out. The two were rows apart, Vi-sion was again reading as Serge looked from the clock to the blue haired student who refused to even glance at him. He thought maybe they would have time to speak with each other, but that plan soon shot down real quick. Suddenly a grumbling noise filled the room,
"What was that?" Vi-sion inquired as the sound continued
"Huh?" he felt his stomach a light blush forming on his face, "I forgot I didn't eat lunch today" he smiled, it was true, he had been so used to the bluenette bringing him lunch he never brought lunch money. The grumbling noise continued until Vi-sion had had enough. Reaching into his bag he pulled out a nicely wrapped box before walking over to the boy and pushing it into his hands.
"Huh? What's this?" Serge said looking at the box
"What does it look like, it's a lunch box" he said not looking at the other, "I keep making two by mistake And that noise is annoying me, just shut up and eat it" he said before turning around and sat back at his desk. Serge looked down at the lunch and then the other,
"Thank you!" he said before opening the lunch and began eating, it was delicious.
It was now five o'clock and the two again were quite. Serge rested his head against the desk bored from all the quite,
"It'll be dark soon" he said looking at the clock, "We might be stuck here for the night, my parents will be so worried and Gilbert will scold me" he sighed, looking back he noticed Vi-sion was now laying on the teachers desk,
"What are you doing?" he asked, though he knew the boy wasn't speaking to him it was a long shot, "I'm going to sleep, I'm tired" he mumbled lying to face the chalk board.
'Is being with me so bad?'
Serge sighed, he had had enough, with a huff he moved from the desk and was now facing Vi-sion who was still facing away from him,
"Vi-sion, turn around" he said with a demanding voice, "I mean it, we are going to have a conversation and you're going to tell me what's wrong with you?" , he said but Vi-sion only scoffed keeping his back towards the other, with a growl he grabbed the others over only to gasp as he cheek suddenly stung
"Keep your hands off me!" Vi-sion yelled those raging eyes glaring at him, Serge clutched his cheek, and shocked the boy had never once put a hand on him, not like this.
"Why are you acting like this!?"
"Like you give a damn!" he yelled
"I'm serious! Tell me what did I do to make me so angry at me" blue eyes looked off to the side, "Tell me!" he demanded
"You wanna know so bad!" he yelled, "I tired!" he said
"I so damn tired! I'm tired of making you lunch, I'm tired of smiling to you, I'm tired of dreaming of you, wanting you, loving you and knowing the fact that I can't have you!" he yelled
"Do you get it now! I love you! I love you, you inconsiderate bastard!" he could feel hot tears running down his cheeks as he spoke, his heart felt clenched and his throat raw from yelling. Serge just stood there trying to take everything in, this boy, he loved him?
"Vi-sion…I…didn't…"
"Don't you dare"
"What?"
"Don't you dare say that you didn't know!" he growled leering through tear filled eyes, "you know at this point I really don't fucking care if you knew, I don't care that you don't love me…" well that wasn't true, "I know you think I'm annoying that you talk about me with your friends, laughing as I tried so hard to make you make" he sniffled
"But I…"
"You laughed at me, me when I just tried to show you love and what do you do…" his voice almost cracked as he leaned against the small bookshelf in the room, fingers tracing the hard cover books, "You give all your love to that. You gave Cocteau everything"
Then it clicked, Vi-sion wasn't jealous, he was sad, heartbroken was the better word having spent all his time devoted to making Serge happy all for it to get thrown back in his face,
"Vi-son, I…I'm sorry" he said with a small tone, suddenly he docked as something flew past his head,
"Sorry? Sorry!" he yelled grabbing another book stacking them in his hands, "For what laughing behind my back" he threw a book at the boy
"Ignoring my love, breaking my heart, giving your love to someone else! Your sorry, don't give me your damn pity!" he continued to through the books at Serge who had ducked behind one of the desk, "Vi-sion calm down" Serge cried trying not to get hit by the barrage of books
"Don't tell me to calm down!" he yelled throwing the last book listening as it bounced off the wall and fell to the floor to join its friends.
Labored breathes filled the room as the boy breathed heavily looking around to see the damage in the room, "Where did he go?" he seethed picking up another book, if he had to he would knock the other over the head with…
'The complete works of Shakespeare' he read the title, as he neared the desk, he gasped as something grabbed him from around the waist,
"Let me go! Let me go!" he demanded, taking the other he forced him on the desk as he struggled
"I said let me go!" he yelled raising the book prepared to strike the other,
"That's enough!" smack! Blue eyes blinked eyes wide as he released the book in his hand to tumble on the floor. He had struck, in a fit of adrenaline and anger Serge had smacked other across the cheek. Slowly he turned to look up at the gypsy student, his breath was labored and there was a pained look in his eye as though he might cry,
"Serge" he breathed
"I'm sorry" he muttered, "I don't want you to be mad at me, I know you loved me and I'm sorry I broke your heart but they're my feelings! Damn it" he groaned, "I can't help who I fall in love with, I can't help that I have feelings for him just like you have feelings for me. So please…stop being angry, don't hate me" he cried, his head falling as tears escaped, a few drops falling on the others face. Fingers went up, cupping the others face to wipe away the tears as they leaked forth.
"Serge" he breathed again holding the others face, he hated to see him cry. A few hours later they were finally 'rescue' a janitor having heard all the noise had come and found them, though he was taken aback seeing the two and their 'position'
It was the night of the Valentine's Day dance, the gymnasium was decorated and music and lights streamed around the hall as students and some faculty danced and laughed. On the roof Vi-sion sat alone dressed in his black suit with a blue blouse and bow tie. He didn't what possessed him to come here tonight he would rather be at home really. He had no date and wanted no date either it would only make him feel empty. Looking up he saw the moon, full and vibrant, surrounded by billions upon billions of stars.
He had often compared Serge to the moon, so different always changing but never losing his glow. And he was a star, trying so desperately to be close to his moon shining brighter than others but still dim in the moons eyes. He laughed at the thought now and found it ironic spending all this time trying to be Serge's only star.
Even if he hated to admit it he was right, Serge had the right to love who he wanted, to give his heart to anyone he wanted. Though the other parts still pained that Serge wouldn't even think of him in that sense. Didn't he deserve just one piece of his heart, a small fraction that showed there was hope that maybe he would love him someday, even just for a second. What felt worse was that his love was given to someone who didn't even seem to care for their well-being let alone existence always snipping, yelling, tricking, and belittling the others kind nature it seemed almost ironically cruel that that is what he wanted.
"Vis-ion?" a voice called, looking back the blue haired boy spotted him, Serge standing near the door that led to the roof, "They said they saw you come up here, don't you want to go to the dance?" he asked as Vi-sion just shrugged shaking his head,
"Not really, going alone to a date for love seems pointless" he said before turning back to the sky, "Shouldn't you be back down there with your date? He's probably worried about you" he said trying to hide the bitterness in his voice
"He'll be fine for a few minutes without me, he's independent like that" he said walking to sit next to the other boy,
'That's why you love him' he sighed bitterly, but continued to look at the sky his only friend for tonight
"Are you okay, Vi-sion?" he asked, though he knew after their last meeting the boy was not alright, back on talking terms heartbreak had changed the blue haired boy.
"I guess" he sighed again
"The stars look so pretty tonight and the moons full" Serge said as he looked up at the night sky, soon the roof returned to its silence, now more awkward than ever. The lights in the gym suddenly began soft as the music slowed down and became softer indicating a couple's dance. As the soft music played chocolate brown eyes kept glancing back at the blue haired boy before standing up slowly,
'Guess he's going back to the one he loves, am I that bitter' he thought
"Vi-sion?" looking to the side blue eyes blinked for a second, then again, then again, hand extended Serge gave a small smile before saying, "Would you like to dance Vi-sion?" it was polite, like a gentleman asking a young lady to dance who had been sitting all night. That's how Vi-sion pity, his hand slowly raised in hesitation. Should he take the others hand?
His hand stopped a ways from the other, crawly back, it was just pity and that's the one thing he would never allow was someone to pity him. It was the only shred of dignity he had after all the years of pawning and falling over himself for the others affection, he shouldn't throw it away for a simple dance that would mean nothing in the end, absolutely nothing.
Seeing the others saddened face, warm hands took the others and before he knew it Vi-sion felt himself pulled against the other, gently if not sudden. As the music continued to play, the two danced and sway with the soft tones and notes.
'Well what else did he have to lose' he thought to himself as he dance with the other, though it felt like one of those dances at a strict religious school and there was a nun keeping the dances at arm's length.
'How long was this going to continue?' his heart felt heavy, weak almost as they continued their very awkward dance, halfway in somehow they had gotten closer and closer, until Vi-sion head rested against Serge's chest, not from intimacy of the dance, but because he was tired, emotionally. With moon and stars above and the lunar lights reflecting down on them it was the absolute definition of romantic, something many would dream about. But this dream was Vi-sion's nightmare, a pure torture of a lie of what he wished about, but once the final note was played they would part and Serge would go running into the arms of the one he really loved. Maybe he should join a nunnery and become celibate, he had read a few stories about woman scorned by love they became nuns unable to grasp with their heartbreak and never wanting to love again. And he knew he could pull off those full body robes.
Finally the song ended and the dance resumed as normal, not before dates exchanged short kisses and a few hugs.
"You can let me go now, the music stopped" he said head still hanging low, though when he tried to pull away he felt the hands holding remain, tightening even, "Hey did you hear me? You can let go?" he said, but still the others hands held onto him refusing to let him go. As he looked up he noticed something, Serge, he was crying?
Why was he crying? It confused him, what did he have to be sad about
"Serge…" he started looking up at the other, brown eyes filled with tears that flowed like a waterfall down his cheeks,
"I sorry" he sniffled wiping some of the tears away, "I wanted to make you feel better and I'm making a mess of myself" he said a small blush on his face. He wanted to make him feel better?
"Idiot" Vi-sion shook his head, "I told you don't have to pity me" he said with a serious tone and Serge shook his head
"It's not pity" he said, "I know you're still upset and I wanted you to feel better" he said
"Well you did your boycott duty, now go back to the dance with your friends and beloved" he said,
"Why are you acting like this?" he said noting the others attitude, "I'm trying to spend time with you and your acting like a child" he said as Vi-sion scoffed prying the others arms off him.
"Now you listen to me Battour" if someone uses your last name you were in trouble, "I didn't ask you to come up here, I was fine just sitting up here alone!" he almost yelled, "You didn't come up here for me, you came up here to pity me and help your guilt!" he accused
"That's not true! I came up here to make you feel better"
"Better? Better! How is this making me feel better" he said, "Are you so damn daft, listen to me! I love you, love! Not like, but L.O.V.E love! So tell me how does someone 'feel better' when the person they spent half their life loving and giving affection too, but who decided to love someone who didn't even bat a wink or sign of interest to their existence and then comes up to them and asks them to dance and then calls them a kid because they had an attitude!" he yelled trying to drill it into their thick head, "If you want to make me feel better than go back down stairs and leave me the hell alone! Go away! Away I say!" he yelled, gasping as his throat felt raw from yelling so much, Serge just stood there as the other finished their rant.
"Is that…is that what you really want" he asked as he looked at the boy, with a huff he turned his back to the other giving them their answer, "Alright if that's what you really want I'll leave and I won't bother you anymore" he said and was about to turn but stop halfway to look back at the other before heading back downstairs to the party. Once the door closed Vi-sion looked back and sighed , so this was it…
~The End~