heaven and ale
Disclaimer: I do not own the Simpsons or it's characters.
Chapter 1,
Reverend Lovejoy was worried about his congregation. It seemed like it was thinning down to the most devout, and the Simpsons.
So one day he asked a 'randomly' selected group of Christians to attend a meeting after church. The meeting contained his wife, Helen, Marge Simpson, Ned and his sons (as if he could stop them from attending), Agnes Skinner, and Luann Von Houten
"People, people please. I have asked you here today to ask your opinion on how get more attendance. Does anyone havr any ideas?" Reverend Lovejoy asked and Todd rose his hand.
"Perhaps we could have a bible study class after church. That way people who don't have the chance to attend the regular service can still get a dose of god." Todd said and Ned smiled.
"I think that's a Fan-diddly-astic idea Todd my boy. And maybe we could attend, or at the very least, help run the study group." Ned said and Timothy muted a groan.
"Well, that's not a bad idea, so I will write down. But I want to try and reach thosr who don't attend church regularly. The people that really need god in their lives." Reverend Lovejoy said and Agnes rolled her eyes.
"Well, why don't you go down to their doors and demand that they go to church. Just pound on their door until they agree to go." she said and Marge groaned disheartedly.
"I don't know, Agnes. Thay seems rather forceful." Marge said.
"Well, duh, that's the whole point." Agnes stated.
"I think Timothy wanted people to come here on their own free will." Helen said and Luann nodded.
"Exactly and some people won't listen to such forceful actions." Luann said.
"Oh, yeah? Like who?" Agnes asked and Marge cleared her throat.
"Well, I don't like to name names, but I know that Homer likes to drink beer with his friend, Barney Gumball. Barney really lovesbto drink and if one or all of us went down to his door and started beging on it... Well... There's a chance that he won't answer his door because he isn't sober enough to do so." Marge said and Reverend Lovejoy thought about this.
"The drunk do need our help... Who else needs an extra dosr of god's love?" He said out loud, but mostly to himself. But Rodd rose his hand and he waited until Timothy pointed at him until he answered.
"The poor could use extra love." He said amd Ned smiled at his answer.
"You know I read about this event some churches do called a 'Grab and Go'. You see you get a whole bunch of donations and sort them out and you place everything in one or two rooms. People come and take what they want. It's like a garage sale, but everyrhing is free." Luann said and Marge smiled.
"That sounds really fun, Luann, and very Christianly. I have a whole bunch of stuff I have been trying to donate, and maybe now I can finally give it away to a good cause." Marge said and Helen smiled.
"Yes, we can put signs all over town and people can come and take what they need." Helen said and Agnes shrugged.
"Well, I can sign Seymour up to help volunteer. Sometimes he can be so organized that I can't stand having him at home." She said crossing, her arms and Reverend Lovejoy glanced at Ned.
"I know that I may regret saying this, but... (Sigh) You seem awfully quiet over there Ned." Timothy said and Ned blinked at him.
"Oh, I'm sorry Reverend. I think the Grab and Go is a diddly of a great idea." Ned said and Luann rose an eyebrow at him.
"But...?" she askes and Ned sighed.
"My thoughts keep returning to the alcoholics. I've been to that Moe's Tavern and lots of his customers are depressed souls looking for easy answers. I just wosh that there was something that we could do for them." Ned explained and Helen gave him an encoraging smile.
"What do you suggest?" she asked and Ned thought about this for a long minute.
"Well... I suppose that maybe we could talk to Moe or another bar in town, and we could have some sort of... Holy Hour. Like Happy Hour, but with, um... Maybe Christian themed drinks, or a cards with bible verses, or maybe a small sermon as they drink... A little god, every day, could really turn some of their lives around. I would hope anyways." Ned said and Marge blinked.
"Why Ned, that sounds like a wonderful idea Ned. Heck, if you did that then I would have no problem going to Moe's for Holy Hour." Marge paused to giggle.
"Makes me giddy just thinking about it." She said and Luann smiled at her.
"I agree, and maybe Holy Hour can have a few non-alcoholic drinks for our kids, if we want to bring them." Helen said as she thought of her daughter.
"So are we going to ask Moe to do Holy Hour at his bar?" Luann asked and Timothy shrugged.
"It is the bat that Ned named, so perhaps that's where we could start." He said.
"But who is going to ask him?" Helen said and Marge twisted her lips slightly.
"Well, I suppose that I could ask Homer to talk to Mor about this, but... There is a chance that he could forget or Moe could pump him full of berr until Homer forgets that he brought it up." Marge said in a ashamed half-whisper.
"I say prissy Flanders should confront Moe, because it was his idea to begin with." Agnes said and Ned blinked.
"Oh, I don't know if Moe would listen to me. Afterall, I don't drink much, so he may not really notice me." Ned said.
"Well that's a good thing, Ned. You aren't going to get drunk and passout like some overweight slob, no offense Marge. Ned, you will be strong-headed and you willstand your ground,and you will not leave until he hears you out." Luann said, ignoring the glare Marge was giving her.
"Well, Reverend, what do you think?" Ned asked and Timothy sighed.
"My son, god gives us all kind of strengths. I am confident that he will give you the strength to talk to Moe. I think that you have a very good chance of Convincing him to do your little Holy Hour. And if you fail, then we still have the Grab and Go. Helen, why don't you tell them about items we can donate?" Timothy said and Ned kind of drifted into his own mind. He needed to be firm and reasonable when he talked to Moe. No weak actions or intimidation otherwise could over power his thoughts.
But nonetheless, Ned smiled, because he knew that he had god on his side. And when you have god on your side, then you know that his will is being done.