A/N: I intend to update this weekly. Hopefully, it will help with the withdrawal symptoms we are all having since the series ended! This first chapter explored what happened between Alison and Emily in episode 5x05. The rest of the story will take place primarily in season 7 when I explore their moments off screen, but I thought this first on-screen experience established a lot in their relationship. I re-watched their interactions in season 5 recently and came to the realization that it was the first time Alison seemed more than willing to be more than Emily's friend and was ironically the first time Emily was resistant to her. I guess that's what made their story so satisfying in the end: they both finally landed on the same page.

It started with a simple question. "Ali, are you asleep?"

Neither of them could have predicted what the answer to that question would be, it just happened. Alison's kiss was a long awaited reunion, Emily's a reluctant apology.

When Emily realized that their kiss was deeper and longer than any they'd had before Alison ran away, her breath was knocked out of her chest by the overwhelming shock and she pulled away to gasp for air. Ali was ripped out of her haze as she looked down at Emily. It took all of the courage she collected while on the run to speak.

"Are you okay?"

Emily couldn't speak, hard as she tried. She nodded.

Alison gave her a moment to calm down and ran her ring finger lightly along the back of Emily's ear. Suddenly they were kissing again. The whole night seemed to be controlled by unseen forces. Gravity urged their lips together, though neither was sure whose carried a greater mass, whose really controlled every action. Their legs entangled and their hips moved closer like magnets, only to come back together when pulled apart. They connected and resisted, connected and resisted. It was during this electric interaction that Emily began to doubt what she realized were her own actions.

Alison occupied almost every section of Emily's brain: the smell of her hair, the pressure of her thigh between her legs, the soft sensation of her tongue slipping into her mouth. Almost every cell was screaming "Alison!" Almost every cell. But, one piece of her brain, all the way in the back, gnawed at her. The piece telling her that this was all false and a complete manipulation. Alison had a need and Emily was filling it, as always. These doubts were not her own but everyone else's, everyone who had been warning her to protect her heart since Alison had come home.

Ali slid her hand down Emily's stomach. This terrified her, and in an attempt to satisfy her own uncertainty about control, she grabbed Alison's waist and flipped them over so that she hovered above her. Stopping entirely was no longer an option because Emily was hopelessly unable to let go of the girl she'd just wanted to hold for so long.

Alison stopped the kiss and grabbed the back of Emily's neck to keep her close. She stared into her eyes and without even blinking to break the contact she jerked her hips up toward Emily as if challenging her to take the interaction further than any of their others had gone.

Emily gasped and sighed and pushed her hand past the hem of Alison's shorts and into her panties. But as her fingers combed through the hair between Alison's legs she paused and her gaze softened.

"Have you ever done this before?"

Alison smirked and tried to kiss Emily to avoid answering the question, but Emily pulled back.

She tilted her head. "Ali..?"

Alison looked away then, over Emily's shoulder. "Yes. I mean, no. Never with a girl."

When Ali finally looked back at her, Emily was sure she saw a deep fear in her eyes. She was the only person who never wondered if Ali could truly feel fear or not or a loss of confidence. Of course, Ali could fear rejection, it's part of what made her so harsh. The fear didn't shock Emily, but the fact that Alison felt it with her did.

This caused her a fleeting and regrettable moment in which she felt a deep craving for vengeance, payback for all the times Alison had denied her. But this feeling was quickly replaced by a heart-sinking sadness. Emily wanted nothing more than to make Alison feel wanted in that moment and to show her that she was right to come home. She shuttered at the thought of Ali sleeping alone and starving after having been pulled from the ground. She pulled her hand away and rolled on her side, Alison followed and they faced each other on the bed.

Alison couldn't decipher Emily's expression as she retreated deeper into her own thoughts. The shock of feeling Emily pull away made her shiver. After so long without so much as a hug, she was desperate to be touched. She especially wanted to be touched by someone who loved her as much as Emily, after so long of feeling hated and rejected. She sought the utter safety of Emily's presence and she wanted Emily to know that she loved her too, even though she couldn't bring herself to say it, to say any of it.

"Em?"

Emily was coaxed out of her thoughts by Ali's whine. "Are you sure?"

Alison's eyes watered. "Please," she begged in a whisper.

Emily responded with action. She kissed away the tear that crossed the bridge of Alison's nose and then gently lifted Alison's leg over her hip and slid her hand between her legs. The warm wetness she found there made her moan. There was physical proof that Alison did want her in some way, that she could make Alison feel something, at her very fingertips. With Alison's legs spread wide over her, she slid two fingers inside of her. With every few thrusts, she pushed them deeper. She pulled Alison in and pushed her away. Alison enveloped her and resisted her only to envelop her again and then suddenly Alison's eyes shot open and she panted.

Alison had felt similar, if duller, pleasure before with the boys she had been with, but those interactions were shrouded in slight disappointment as if she'd always been desperately climbing a mountain and never reaching the peak. But then, her movements sped up and she looked at Emily in total surprise. She was mesmerized and perplexed by what was a new feeling to her. Her heart raced and she was slightly scared by the frantic actions of her own body. She was powerless to stop it.

"Em, what's happening?" She hadn't meant to ask out loud.

"Are you okay?"

When Emily's fingers threatened to stop Alison grabbed her wrist and urged her to continue.

Emily realized what Alison meant, and she kissed her cheek before resting her lips on her ear. "It's okay," she promised, "just let it happen….When you feel like it, hold my hand steady."

"I missed you so much," Alison choked out before clutching Emily's wrist and shuttering as she orgasmed.

She looked into Emily's eyes with total awe as it happened, and held Emily's hand still for what seemed like an eternity. When she finally relaxed and caught her breath, Emily kissed her.

"Okay?" Emily asked.

She nodded, her damp brow brushing against Emily's forehead. "Okay."

Emily pulled her fingers out slowly and moved Alison's leg to rest between her own. She tucked Alison's head under her arm and pulled her into her chest.

Alison's request broke the serene silence. "Can I touch you?" Her voice was muffled by Emily's chest.

Emily kissed her hairline. "Just sleep."

Emily was completely unable to comprehend what had just happened, and this inability paralyzed her. She was drowning in her own utter satisfaction at having finally felt wanted by the only person she'd ever wanted and this exhausted her.

Alison didn't want to feel rejected by her request, but she did. She would never tell Emily though and risk making her feel guilty for simply not wanting something.