Once upon a time, you were all alone, with only Chain and TV for company and you were like a zombie. But one day Strip Light flickered and sparked and I came shooting down and crashed onto rug, CRASH! And you cut the cord and said, "Hello, Jack!"
Two figures lie facing each other, curled up in a double bed. The smallest blinks open his eyes and yawns, before sitting up and smiling down at his bedmate. Pushing his long hair away from his face, he says, "Pa, I'm five!"
His whispering draws a chuckle from the other person, who ensnares him in a fierce hug and rolls onto his back. "You're five! You're so old now!"
"Yep!"
"Come on then, time to get up."
Jack rolls off Pa and drops to his knees to look under the bed. "Good morning, Eggsnake! Good morning, Bed! Good morning, Plant! Good morning, Sink!" He slowly makes his way around the room. "Good morning, Telly! Good morning, Rug! Good morning, Toilet!" He doesn't notice the look of despair etched across his roommate's face. "It's my birthday!"
Sherlock drops a cereal packet onto the table. "Yes, I get it," he grumbles. They take their usual chairs and sit down, Jack pulling up one of his legs and tucking it under his body. They face each other, as they always do, twenty-four hours every day.
"Take you vitamin, it's the last one," says Sherlock, tipping it out into his hand and holding it out to Jack, who takes it happily.
"Vitamin!" he squeals, holding it up like a trophy, before popping it into his mouth. Sherlock smiles at him, then winces as he takes a bite of breakfast and cups his jaw, groaning. Jack watches him with all the concern of a five-year-old.
"Is bad tooth hurting?"
"Yes, but you know, Mind over Matter," says Sherlock, tapping his temple with his forefinger.
Jack grins, delighted. "If you don't mind then it doesn't matter!"
Sherlock stares lovingly at his son, before shoveling more food into his mouth. They finish their meal in silence.
888
Most days are the same, but some are different. The same days have routine. Pa wakes me up at eight o'clock and I say hello to Room. Then we have breakfast and we count the pieces of cereal to get our share, before choosing what clothes we're going to wear. I have more clothes than Pa. Pa can't wear trousers because of Chain. We both have three T-shirts, but mine are starting to get small because I've grown so much. That's why it's my birthday. Pa doesn't have any jumpers, but I do. Pa has two pants but I have four. Because I'm the littlest, I have more clothes and more food than Pa.
After dressing we do exercises and running. Pa makes me run all around Room as fast as I can, which is difficult because Room goes so far from one end to another. Pa can't run because of Chain, but he's the best at stretching. Then Pa makes lunch while I watch TV and practice de-duc-tion. After lunch we make Eggsnake longer by adding more shells. He's so big now, he's taller than Pa. Maybe one day he'll be as big as Room. After that, Pa scrubs Room to make it all clean and he washes our clothes. Pa says cleaning Room helps us stay healthy, like vitamins and toothbrush.
At two o'clock, Pa sleeps for an hour because he's always tired. He says I'm too little to understand, but now I'm five, I'm old enough. While Pa naps, I practice hiding from monsters. When he wakes up at three o'clock, we play de-duc-tion games. I have to put my thinking cap on and try and guess if Pa is lying or telling truth. I'm so good now, I'm as clever as Pa! Then we watch more TV, but not too much or my eyes will go square. Then I have a bath and Pa does my hair because it's so long, but he always gets bubbles everywhere. Pa cooks dinner and I play with my dog, Redbeard, to make time go faster. After dinner, Pa puts my pajamas on and tells me stories about pirates and the name of some bones in my body. Once dinner has gone down, he tucks me up in wardrobe and I have to promise no peeping whilst he washes. And then, at same time on all Same Days with routine, Door opens and They come in. There's two of them. They talk with Pa. They whisper and then it all goes quiet. Most times I fall asleep and when I wake up, Pa has put me back in Bed and he has even more bruises on his legs and arms. Pa always hurts himself a lot. Clumsy Old Pa.
"Do you know what we're going to do today?" asks Sherlock, watching Jack with anticipation. The small boy shakes his head. "We are going to bake a birthday cake."
Jack gasps, his eyes bright. "Like on TV?"
"Just like TV. Do you thing you can help me?"
"Hm hm," nods Jack.
"Okay. You grab the eggs and I'll get the oven ready. We need to do this right."
"Have you ever baked cake before, Pa?"
"No, I have not, but I do believe it's simple chemistry. Grab the butter too, please."
It's messy. They get flour everywhere and it takes a while to clean up afterwards. Jack kneels on a chair and washes up whilst Sherlock cleans the floor and dusts off Rug. A delicious smell soon circulates around Room. After checking the cake multiple times, Sherlock eventually smiles.
"Sit down and close your eyes. No peeping."
"No peeping," promises Jack and covers his face with his hands.
There's the sound of movement and Chain rattles as Pa approaches. The clonk as something is put down in front of him. "Open your eyes, Jack"
Jack stares in wonder at the cake; his first birthday cake! Then disappointment grips him. "Where are the candles and lights?" he asks.
Pa's satisfied expression drops. "We don't have any, Jack, you know that," he swallows. "Please Jack, we have to be grateful for what we've got. We can't have everything they have on TV. You're a big boy now, you're old enough to understand," he licks his lips nervously. "Now, this cake is a special treat because it's got sugar and other ingredients in it that I'm not too keen about shoving down your intestines, not to mention damaging your teeth. This is a very special treat, Jack. I haven't had cake since before you were born. What do we always say?"
"Appreciate what you have." Mumbles Jack.
"Exactly." Pa strokes Jack's hair. "Come on now, I'll cut you a slice."
"I'm sorry, Pa."
"That's OK. Here you go, tell me if it tastes like rat poison."
"Pa! S'not funny!" They laugh.