A/N: I need to preface this…I am sick and beached on the couch with the laptop. I have school tomorrow which is going to suck because I can hardly move now. I am sore and miserable and I wanted to write this. So either love it or…love it.
Light pushed his ragged bangs back from his eyes and his lips skinned back, showing his teeth. It was not a nice smile – it was exhaustion and satisfaction and just the smallest touch of primal madness. He had spent the last six hours attempting to write names in the Death Note, but he had to be cautious because of L's cameras. With his potato chip trick, he'd only managed to write one name. It wouldn't be enough for L to withdraw from investigating him. Despite his lack of success, his body continued to degrade, and he knew a shower was inevitable. His hair was lank and greasy, and it would be suspicious of him to not take care of it. L was likely observing his patterns of behavior, and Light was always extremely manicured and put together. If he suspected that Light was ignoring it because of trauma and guilt, or merely his first priority being killing, then L would never remove the cameras.
So, sighing like he'd just spent a hard night studying, he pushed away from his desk and stood up to stretch. He started to walk out of the room.
"Hey, Light, where'ya goin'?" Ryuk questioned drowsily from his corner of the room. Light, of course, didn't answer. He eased the door to his room open and stuck his head out into the dark hallway. It was late, and everyone was asleep, but they probably wouldn't be bothered by the shower running.
Light pulled a towel off of a shelf in the closet and looped it over towel rack by the shower. Then, with a subtle grimace that came every time he was indecent and conscious of the cameras in the house, he stepped out of his clothes and into the shower.
He tried to get it over with quickly, hastily kneading shampoo into his hair and rinsing. He picked up the bar of soap and rubbed it between his palms. It slipped out of his hand and hit the wall, sliding down the edge of the tub. It settled by the drain. Light growled, annoyed, and started to reach for it, but stopped abruptly.
L likely had cameras in the corners of the bathroom. He might have cameras in the showerhead or the drain or hidden anywhere in the small space. Suddenly, bending down to retrieve the soap didn't seem so trivial anymore. Should he retrieve it to avoid suspicion of the fact that he knew cameras in the house? If he did, the shame would be unbearable. He pictured L watching the monitors. Perhaps he could find a way to pick it up with his feet? He could slowly nudge it up the wall with his foot, and then grab it. Would that be too obvious?
Light set his teeth and put his toes on the bar of soap, pushing it up the wall. It slipped out from underneath his foot almost instantly. He cursed inwardly. This wasn't going to work. He needed a plan. A plan that would require every ounce of his ingenuity.
He could just bite the bullet and do it.
No. He couldn't imagine a greater shame.
He could keep trying to push it up the wall with his foot. He might get lucky.
Deep down, he knew it'd never work.
He could sit down in the bathtub and grab it, then stand back up.
That would look ridiculous and suspicious.
Light cursed inwardly again. He couldn't call Ryuk to get it, because L would see a floating bar of soap. Anyways, there was no chance in hell that Light would ask Ryuk to get in the shower with him.
Light pretended to be occupied with scrubbing his upper body without soap, aware of how stupid he looked just standing there staring at the bar.
He rolled his shoulders, suddenly struck with an idea. He reached out with his foot and touched the bar of soap with his toes. Then, with a determined shout, he kicked the soap up. It flew up the tile, and Light made a wild grab for it. He lost his balance, and swayed on the spot, trying to regain it. He teetered dangerously, then went down sideways into the shower curtain. The shower rod pulled free as he fell. He landed heavily on the curtain outside the bathtub and tried to scoot away from the shower rod desperately.
His nose went horribly hot and fuzzy for a moment, and he realized it must've fallen right on his face. He reached for his nose and his hand came away red.
"Damn," he growled.
Then he remembered the situation.
He was lying on his back in the middle of the bathroom like a dead beetle, his nose bleeding, and the spray from the shower starting to wet the tiles and mirror.
And L was watching.
And the fucking soap was still sitting by the drain.
L rolled the lollipop to the other side of his mouth. It was his only physical response to the bizarre events that had occurred while Light Yagami showered.
A/N: You know, it wasn't supposed to end with Light looking that ridiculous, but I hate Light's guts, so there you go.
If I'm funny, review. If I'm not, review. I'm sick and you should feel bad for me.