Fic: If Music Be the Food of Love…
Fandom: Pitch Perfect
Pairing: Chloe/Beca
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Pitch Perfect is the property of Universal Studios. I'm just spectulating.
A/N: this unbeta'd so there are propably mistakes in here.
Summary: Beca and Chloe finally address the elephant in the room.
Chloe Beale and Beca Mitchell have been friends for three years. Depending upon whom you ask, three years can be either a really long time or not a very long time at all. But for these two, three years may has well have been a lifetime. That's because Chloe and Beca have been through a lot in those three years. From the time they met as students and members in the Barden Bellas
a cappella singing group while attending Barden University until now, Chloe and Beca have been constant fixtures in each others life.
Throughout the course of their friendship there was some good, some bad and some ugly but somehow they always managed to come out all of it very much in tact. No matter what was going on in their respective lives, they always managed to be there for one another and all of those shared experienced only served to fortify the very strong bond that they shared.
It was a cold, rainy night in New York City when the two close friends found themselves sharing a vegetarian pizza and a bottle or two of red wine. They originally planned to have an evening out on the town but they found the idea of traveling out in the inclement weather an unappealing one. So Chloe and Beca decided that a night in was a far better way of catching up with each other during one of their weekly get togethers.
As they sit on the floor of Beca's very small and extremely minimalist apartment, they are half way through their second bottle of malbec when the subject of relationships comes up.
"Aubrey told me that maybe I should reevaluate just exactly what it is I'm looking for." She says in a hushed tone just before taking a languid sip from her glass.
"And have you?
"I have."
"Aaand?"
"Aaand, it's complicated."
The younger of the two quirks an eyebrow as she takes a sip from her glass before asking the obvious question.
"And what pray tell Ms Beale makes it complicated."
The look from the older young woman is one filled with a coyness one would never associate with her, as she is an exceedingly open person without any pretense or concept of personal boundaries. Quite simply put, Chloe put the "extro" in extrovert.
"If you must know, it's complicated because it stirs up some things that I thought I had laid to rest a very long time ago." She replies.
"That is very cryptic, Chloe." Beca all but laughs out loud.
When she sees the redhead tense up, she realizes that whatever it is, it was no laughing matter. So she sets down her glass and places her hand atop Chloe's and gives it a gentle squeeze as a means of urging her to continue. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be an ass. You know you can tell me anything." She offeres.
Now it is Chloe's turn to set her glass down. She looks down at their joint hands and takes a deep breath and lets it out.
"Beca, it's complicated because for a long time now I've tried to forget…to move on from this insane crush that I've had on you since that day in the showers. And no matter how far I go or who I'm with, it always comes back to you." She says quietly.
"Me?"
"Yes, you." The redhead points at her.
Beca is flummoxed and tries to process this newfound information.
"Wait lemme get this straight, are you saying that you've been into me this entire time?" She asks quietly.
"Jesus, Beca all the signs were there and you mean to tell me that it never even occurred to you that there was possibly something more than platonic going on between us?" The redhead asks incredulously.
There was a slight pause before her brunette counterpart replied. "It may have crossed my mind for like a split second but I never really thought about it, thought about it. Ya know, I just…" Beca let the words just hang there because if she finished the sentence then it would open the conversation up to a whole new realm of things she just wasn't prepared to handle.
"So it has occurred to you?" The girl sitting next to Beca presses on.
"Chloe, please. Can we not do this," the petite young woman whispers.
The line of questioning was entering into territory that was full of emotional land mines, and the younger girl was ill equipped to navigate its terrain.
"Beca…apparently, we've 'not' been doing this for years now. Don't you think it's finally time to address the elephant wearing the pink tutu in the room?"
"Chloe…"
"No, Beca. It's time."
"Chloe, I can't...I just…can't."
The girl with the chestnut colored hair and stormy blue eyes gets up from the spot she occupied on the floor and retreats to the window that looked out on to a city that is pulsating with life.
A deafening silence fills the small apartment, hanging in the air like an albatross. The only sounds that can be heard are the faint screeches of rubber against wet asphalt.
"I never connected with anyone the way I connected with you in that moment. I never felt that naked before and it wasn't just about being…literally naked. That kinda vulnerability scares the shit outta me, Chloe. I couldn't…I didn't…I…"
Beca isn't quite able to articulate what she wants to say and in her frustration just lets out a strangled yell of sorts as she runs her fingers through her hair and turns back around to look out onto the street once again.
"I get it Beca. I get it because that's exactly how I felt in that moment. The connection I mean. Music has a tendency to do that. It has this way of allowing you to get in touch with the feelings that you have no idea how to relate to otherwise. Remember when you asked me why I was still performing after I told you guys that I had nodes?"
Beca thought back to that day and nodded. "Music is everything, Beca. I eat, sleep and breathe it. It fills me up in a way that nothing else does. Music is how I make sense of this crazy world that we live in. And it's exactly the same way for you. I knew that the moment I looked into your eyes three years ago in that shower stall. That's pretty much the core of our connection, the music." She finished.
Even if the other girl can't see it, there is a smile on Beca's face that out shines any of the lights that illuminated the street below. And just as quickly as the smile appears, it fades.
"That's exactly what I'm talking about. You totally get me, Chloe. You get me more than I get myself sometimes and that's why I could never allow myself to ever think about it, think about it. Because if I did, then I would run the risk of ruining pretty much the most important relationship I have in my life. I just can't take that chance. I can't chance losing you. If you and I were to become…more, I'd only end up hurting you and I would never be able to forgive myself if that ever happened. I just can't lose you, Chloe. Why can't you see that?" Beca says with an earnest desperation.
There is an underlining sadness in her voice as the words fall from her lips. It is a sadness that she has become acutely aware of whenever she thought about long, flowing red locks and bright, bluer than blue eyes that came with a matching smile.
"You know Beca, for someone who's suppose to be this badass; rebel without cause; anti-establishment; fuck the word, warrior chick, you sure are incredibly defeatist. Did it occur to you that maybe, just maybe…"
"Don't, Chloe! Just don't. It's not me being defeatist. It's me being realistic. It's me acknowledging the fact that I suck at romantic relationships and I have the ghost of Jesse's broken heart to prove just how much I suck at them. And I can't allow that to happen to you." Beca lets out a heavy sigh as she braces her hands on the rough surface of the wooden windowsill.
Again silence falls over the room. Another wall is erected. Another line in the sand is drawn. The only question that remains is whether or not the wall will be toppled and the line, crossed. Seconds stretch out into minutes and those minutes stretch into a steady stream of silent tension. The atmosphere around the two young women, a thick cloud of uncertainty.
Chloe stares at Beca's retreated figure and everything inside of her simply breaks and as if of its own accord her mouth opens up and the words to an all too familiar song comes out…
You shout it loud,
but I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud,
not saying much
I'm criticized,
but all your bullets
ricochet
you shoot me down,
but I get up…
Chloe stands up and slowly walks toward the window as she continues to sing…
I'm bulletproof,
nothing to lose
fire away, fire away…
When the young woman with the bright, bluer than blue eyes finally makes her way across the tiny room, she stands directly behind Beca and stares into the reflection of the window's glass. As their eyes meet, the wall crumbles and the line fades. Beca wraps her arms around herself, closes her eyes and falls into the song with her own offering …
ricochet,
you take your aim
fire away, fire away
you shoot me down…
But the petite brunette begins to falter as her voice starts to give way on the last note but before she becomes completely undone, the redhead catches her. Chloe takes hold of Beca and unwraps her arms from around herself and turns her around until they are finally standing face to face and as cool cerulean meets incendiary indigo she finishes the rest of the chorus…
but I won't fall
I am titanium
you shoot me down,
but I won't fall
I am titanium…
She holds the last note as if it were a tender caress, all the while keeping her eyes trained on the eyes that are staring directly into hers. As the note comes to its inevitable end, Chloe's hand reaches up to tuck an errant strand of silky, chocolate tresses behind Beca's ear. Eyes still trained on the skittish young woman, she braces both hand hands along a face that is far too delicate and far too beautiful to belong to any living creature and then leans down to press a soft kiss to her forehead.
"I'm not Jesse, Beca. And I will never be Jesse. Who we are, is different and what we have is different and I'll be damned if I let you use that as an excuse to push me away."
Chloe's voice is one of steely determination. A determination that Beca has seen so many times over the years to know that the fiery redhead meant every single word. She could already feel her resolve chip away.
"You're crazy, you know that right. No sane person would take on the most emotionally retarded person the world has ever known as a legit romantic possibility." Beca tells her, trying to lighten the heavy mood that had taken hold of them.
"Lucky for you I am both insane and emotionally stable enough for the both of us to compensate for your lack of emotional broadness." Chloe cracks back with a wink.
"Seriously Chloe, are you sure you want to do this?" The shorter girl asks nervously.
"Beca, I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life." Chloe beams.
"Besides things aren't going to be very different than they are now except with one very distinct change."
"I'm almost afraid to ask what that is." Beca replies with a hint of skepticism
"You shouldn't be."
"Oh yeah. And why is that?
"Because this…" The taller of the two leans down and presses her lips to the shorter of the two.
The kiss starts off tentatively but then builds in intensity as lips, soft and supple meet in a symphony of hitched breaths and approving moans. Arms and fingers engage in newfound territory and revel in that the sensations that their explorations reveal. Both women are lost in a moment that was years in the making. They clutch at each other as if to hold on to one another for dear life. And when it finally comes to an end they remain in each other's embrace, eyes closed, foreheads touching and both smiling.
They stand that way for several moments before Chloe breaks the spell as she pulls back just far enough so that they can look into each other's eyes, "I've waited so long for that."
Beca lets out a light chuckle. "Well you do have the patience of Job. I just hope it was worth the wait."
Once again the redhead pushes back a strand of the brunette's hair, letting her finger linger on the outer shell of Beca's ear.
"Ms Mitchell, nothing worth having ever comes easy. Trust me, it was more than worth it." She gives Beca her patent Beal wink and gives her a quick peck on the lips before taking her by the hand and leads her to the couch on the other side of the room.
They curl up on the couch, pizza and wine long forgotten. They take comfort in being each other's arms unencumbered and unabashedly. As Chloe strokes her hair, Beca can't help but hum her contentment and Chloe joins her, falling into the tune with her own harmonies. She recognizes it as the same tune Beca sang for her Bellas audition and she couldn't help but smile at the remembrance of that day.
"If music be the food of love…" the older girl starts to say.
"…then play on." The other girl finishes. "Is that what this is Chloe. Love?"
"Beca, I'm totally confident about all of this." Chloe replies.
After a beat, Beca tightens her arms around the ones wrapped around her slender frame and cranes her head back to look into the bluest eyes she's ever seen and says, "You should be."