Disclaimer:

I, in no way, shape of form, own the manga/anime Diamond no Ace. This is, after all, fanfiction.

Chapter I — Her Name Is Nakano Emiri

Everything was spiraling out of control.

.

.

.

"Okaa-san please," Emiri begged for the umpteenth time that day alone. "Please. I was doing just fine at Tōō!"

[Emi-chan,] her mother admonished, [transferring schools isn't going to ruin your art career.]

"But the art program there is better!"

[You went there because of Shōichi-kun.] Nakano Eiko snipped back.

"I have more self-respect than that," Emi muttered underneath her breath, too low for her mother to hear over the line. "Ei-chan is a big boy now! Why do I have to take care of him?"

[Because, he needs all the help that he can get—you know your cousin, Emi-chan. And besides, with you there he's never going to get in trouble.]

"Okaa-san—"

[Sorry, Emi-chan but I need to go now—bye!]

"Okaa-san—" the dial tone cut Emi off. She stared at her blank phone screen, feeling more than just a little annoyed at her mother's easy dismissal. Kissing her teeth in annoyance, she shoved her phone into her school bag and yanked at the stifling school sweater.

"If I had done that to her, she would've given me the dressing down of a lifetime... " Emi muttered underneath her breath, a scowl setting over her pretty features. "She gets mad at me when I don't text her back in five minutes—what she would do to me if I hung up on her like that... "

And not to mention, what did her mother mean when Ei-chan wouldn't get into trouble with her around?

Did she not remember when the cousins had to be hospitalized after they went apple picking?

And Eijun had somehow, with his powers of idiocy, managed to piss off an entire bee hive of which they were both allergic to?

Emi's face had looked more like a tomato than a tomato looked like a tomato for at least six hours.

Or when she nearly drowned because the idiot had managed to drag her off a—somewhat short—cliff when their families had gone to the beach when she had been eight and he seven?

Or when he set her hair on fire with the flames of his birthday cake candles?

Did her mother not remember any of that? Because Emi sure did.

"She's not even considering my health at all, stupid mother."

Her mother had also disregarded the heart attack she was sure she had when she found out Eijun was doing his high school schooling in Tokyo! Now Tokyo was a densely populated prefecture, that much was true, with a ton of schools in each district, but knowing her luck? Emi would be lucky if she landed in the hospital or died a quick death with her younger cousin within a hundred kilometres difference—she was barely safe when her cousin lived just over two hundred kilometres away in Nagano!

But with Eijun living in Tokyo? And the two of them going to school together?

That just spelled out STRESS for Emi—especially her heart.

Emi couldn't even do anything for her own health at this point. Not only did her father support her mother's suggestion of sending her to the same school as he imbecile of a cousin, he had arranged all the necessary paperwork within the week of the news. She was lucky she hadn't transferred to Seidō as soon as their Jii-chan has called with the news! Her parents had at the very least let her finish the term at Tōō.

But now she had to start anew at a different high school that was an hour commute—by train—away in comparison to Tōō's fifteen minutes' walk—she was losing a half hour of sleep and two hours of procrastinating! Not only that but she to socialize to make new friends. That meant she was wasting precious time for her drawings, paintings, calligraphy and all that visual art "trash" she adored. The school environment would be different too and she would have to deal with being as green as the first years in navigating the school—talk about embarrassing.

Really, Emi saw no benefit to this arrangement at all.

With an agonized sigh, Emi shuffled into the gates of her new school. Absentmindedly, she tugged at the hem of her skirt, scuffing her shoes as she looked up at the imposing building. The aesthetic of the school yard and the sweet smell of cherry blossoms didn't lift her mood at all.

"Somebody help me," she whined to herself. "I'm spending the next two years with Eijun. Please kill me now."

— [ + ] —

The opening ceremony had been fairly pleasant—Seidō's principal looked like a happy old man, and her certainly didn't have the principal of Tōō's sharp tongue—and getting to her class was easy enough. Emi had just followed the herd of second years to their floor and had looked for the classroom with a plaque overhead that read 2-A. The shrill gossiping voices she could do without—and the sadistic cackling. Seriously? Not even Shōichi did that, and he was the poster boy for sadism.

Her homeroom teacher happened to be the history teacher for their grade which was just great—really. If he didn't talk in a monotone and had the volume of a mouse. Emi was really questioning whether or not the man realized his students were teenagers and hence, easily distracted when bored to tears.

At least she had gotten a window seat.

It was the only good thing the day seemed to yield. Seidō had a more of a natural beauty to their school than Tōō did—but then again, Tōō was closer downtown. Trees lined up behind the brick walls and gate, bushes lining the perimeter of the school itself.

It wasn't as green as Nagano but it was green enough for Tokyo—

Chiming filled the hallways and classrooms, blaring from the PA system and signalling the end of the class.

Emi immediately perked up, eyes shifting to the clock—

And then immediately deflated. The clock had to be lying to her because certainly the school day had to be over, it had not just been an hour.

"You have to be fucking with me," Emi seethed, slamming her hand on her desk and disregarding the startled squeaks and nervous laughter around her. A bemused chuckle broke her out of her angry trance, so with narrowed eyes and crossed arms, she whipped around to give the mocking little shit a dose of her infamous death glare.

Even the stubborn Sawamura Eitoku cowered underneath his adorable granddaughter's venomous gaze.

A round faced boy immediately raised his hands in surrender, trembling at the cool eyes that promised death by several means of torture. The girl sitting in front of him was scarier than Asuma-senpai. Gulping, he raised his hands higher and leaned back as far as he could from the girl with the murderous glare.

"I'm sorry?"

"You should be," Emi sniffed derisively.

Kawakami bit back a squeak at her bite, only letting the tension from his shoulders pool on the ground when she had harrumphed and turned to face the front.

And he had thought he was lucky when he ended up in a different class than Miyuki and Kuramochi. Isashiki-senpai had a temper but at least the upperclassmen didn't hurt them enough to warrant actual injuries. But the new girl had no such reservations to not hurt him seeing as she wasn't even part of the team, much less called him friend.

Kawakami made the decision then and there to try his best not to piss off the new girl because she didn't seem to mind throwing hands.

Kawakami'd rather not have to deal with funeral preparations so soon.

— [ + ] —

"I'm going to kill that fucking idiot."

Members of the surrounding audience swivelled their attention to the dark-haired girl that was pacing along a metre stretch of fencing and muttering obscenities.

"I am going to wring his neck like a towel until he turns so fucking purple he looks like fine wine, and then—then! I am going to break every single bitch ass bone in his body—starting with his precious fingers—precious my ass! And if he fucking cries, I'm going to demonstrate how the fuck you're supposed to hit a baseball—none of that nothing but air bullshit because stupid ass fucking Eijun—"

—here, Emi glared at the distinctly crying and running figure on the other side of the field—

"—bloody fucking stupid Eijun is a complete and total dumbfuck!"

Emi seethed, growling and wringing her hands because she was so, so, so pissed.

"Waste of my fucking time! How the Hell did you manage to piss your coach off on the first fucking day?!"

Eijun cringed, moving away from the fencing and perimeter of the field as he rounded closer and closer to his seething cousin. Better to be safe than sorry. Knowing Emi, she would find someway to walk through the fencing, grab him and gut him as an example of why exactly you don't piss her off.

'I thought Kaa-san was joking! But Emi-nee really is here!'

The boy gulped when he made his second incredibly stupid mistake of the day—making eye contact with his cousin. The gleam in her eye was just a little more than demonic at this point and the aura she was exuding wasn't helping his shot nerves at all. Emi grinned—and were her teeth always that shiny and sharp-looking?—brought her thumb to her neck and made a vivid, and horrifyingly accurate slashing motion, all while maintaining eye contact.

'I'm going to die.'

'He's going to be six feet under in six seconds... I can't wait until I get my hands on him.'

A/N:

So this is what happens when I suddenly feel the urge to re-watch a couple DnA episodes. And I like to think Emiri is the better version of my trashy ass.