Disclaimer: FFVII and its characters, settings, etc. do not belong to me.

Warnings: Minor coarse language.

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Rude Necessities

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Rude looked at his watch. 11:59:55. 11:59:56. 11:59:57. 11:59:58. 11:59:59. 12:00:00.

He knocked on the door. "Reno."

There was no reply. Rude opened the door, just wide enough to poke his head in.

Blackness. Impenetrable. Rude removed his sunglasses.

After a few moments, Rude's eyes began to adjust. A heavy blanket had been hung and thickly duct-taped over the window, letting in not the tiniest bit of light.

"Reno," Rude said again.

A faint rustle came from one corner of the room. It was followed by a clotted moan that wouldn't have been out of place in a horror movie.

Rude sighed, opened the door all the way, and flipped the light switch. Nothing happened. He glanced up at the ceiling, sighed again, walked to the window, and ripped the blanket down, letting noon sunlight flood the room.

There was a hoarse squawk from the corner, and a louder rustle, followed by muffled swearing.

Rude put his sunglasses back on, crossed to the bed, and looked down at a rumpled comforter and a pillow clutched by a pair of slim hands. A lock of red hair poked out from beneath the pillow. "Get out of my room, you asshole," came Reno's half-smothered voice.

"It's time to get up, Reno."

"The hell you say." The humped figure burrowed into a tighter ball beneath the covers.

"It's noon, Reno. We have to leave for Junon."

"Fuck that. Shut up and go away."

"What time did Cloud leave?"

The lump of Reno beneath the covers, if possible, curled tighter. "Shut. Up."

"I went to bed at two. He was still here."

"If you don't shut up right now, I'm gonna rearrange your nuts."

"You'd have to get up to do that."

Silence.

"I already made coffee. It's waiting for you in the car."

Silence.

"There are doughnuts in the car."

Silence.

"And aspirin."

Silence.

"You can shower when we get there."

Silence.

"Unless you'd rather I just took Elena with me instead."

Hopeful silence.

"Of course, I'll have to call Tseng and explain to him why you're not with me." Rude glanced at his watch again. 12:03:04. 12:03:05. 12:03:06. 12:03:07. 12:03:08.

The covers rustled, and Reno sat up. The green of his face clashed with the red of his hair, Rude noticed. His eyes were turquoise slits.

"I," Reno said slowly and clearly, "hate you."

Rude turned away just in time to hide the twitch of his lips. "I'll see you in the car."

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The End

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