The Surrogate

Chapter 1: The Road to Surrogacy

Most surrogates are supposed to have already created their families. I hadn't. I was still on the fence about children, but what I did know was that I wanted to be pregnant. I wanted to carry a baby and get fat and have all the attention be on me; but I wasn't so sure about raising a child. They cried, they pooped and to be honest you wouldn't have a life for the first year and possibly even beyond. Don't get me wrong I love children, I especially love babies, but I also love giving them back to their parents.

My story starts out on July 14, 2012 when I found out I had gotten my dream job. I had just graduated from the University of Texas with a nursing degree under my belt. Ever since I was a young child I had always wanted to be a nurse. Every sleepover I had, someone would be the patient and I would be the doctor giving out candy as medicine. But it wasn't until I started my first shift at the nursing school that I realized this is what I wasn't to be doing. I found out that I had gotten the job and I was to report to the chief of staff first thing Monday morning. I was so excited that I rushed off and spent $150 on scrubs. I couldn't wait until Monday!

There was something that I kept thinking about in the back of my mind. Just a few weeks earlier when I was looking for a job, I came upon a website for surrogates, or gestational carriers as they are otherwise known, I was intrigued by the concept and decided that I should research more. I was a single woman fresh out of college in need of some money. The more I researched the more interested I became. Who knows, I could provided an infertile couple with a child. I have always wanted to help a person, that's why I became a nurse, but to heal someone was one thing, to provide an infertile couple with the thing they wanted the most was even more wonderful. I knew I wanted to give someone the joy of having a baby so the next thing I know I was signing up to get more information and request an interview.

My interview was scheduled for the day after I found out I had gotten the nursing position. The interview went great, it looked like I had passed all of the psychological tests and the biological interview. They told me they would call me in a few weeks and let me know if I could become a surrogate and if I was what would happen next.

Because my job was starting up in a couple of days I put the interview out of my mind and focused on my new job. My first day went pretty well, I shadowed one of the nurses and got my bearings for the first half and then after lunch they threw me out onto the floor and what can I say I thrived. That first day I delivered a baby and told a couple they were pregnant, lots of little things happened also but that was the highlight of my day. The next couple of weeks passed in the same fashion, I'd wake up and get ready check my messages to see if the agency called and head into work. I made many new friends, mostly were nurses on the different floors I worked but some were doctors and others were patients. Overall I could say I was thriving. I worked in the Emergency Room, Labor and Delivery and the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Most days I worked in L&D which reminded me that I could be in their position in just a few months, I couldn't wait to find out if I could qualify to be a surrogate.

The beginning of September was when my life changed. On September 4, 2012 the agency called as I was starting the bath water and pouring a glass of wine.

"Hello?" I asked. I had forgotten to check the caller ID.

"Hi is this Isabella Swan?" A female voice on the other side asked me in a slight southern accent.

"Speaking. Who is this?"

"This is Angela from Surrogates of Texas. We have your results from your interview a month and a half ago."

"Oh hello, what do the results say?" I was very curious and anxious as to what it would be because this would be my only chance to be a surrogate.

" Well I have them sitting right in front of me and the results are good. You passed both the psychological and biological interviews and if you would still like to become a surrogate you can."

I was so elated when I heard the good news, now I was truly on my way to carrying a baby for an infertile couple in want of a child or children because multiples were common.

"Yes I still want to become a surrogate," I commented.

"Then you will need to come in in the next few days to start filling out forms and picking out your ideal couple. If you are free tomorrow, you could come in at 10 o'clock."

"I am free then, is there anything I need to bring with me?"

"Great, all you will need is identification."

"I'll make sure to bring in my license."

"Thank you and have a nice day."

"You too."

Once our conversation ended I sat in my bath thinking about how I would be carrying a child pretty soon. Thinking of having a child soon even if it was for another couple made me think of my parents and the fact I would have to tell them soon. I was dreading what my mother would think but my father would be proud of me. Thinking of their possible reactions got me to thinking about my life when I was younger and my relationship with both of my parents. I had a great relationship with my dad and step father but the relationship with my mother was a different story. When I was 4 her and my father divorced and she moved me from my home in Austin to San Francisco. At that point on she dictated my whole life, when I was 10 she stopped allowing me to go see my father saying she didn't have the time to take me. I knew it killed my father but he never let it get to him, he would secretly call me every day while my mom was at work to talk to me. Starting from a young age my mother let me stay at the house alone or if she was going to be gone for a while she would ask the next door lady named Mildred, who was 60, to watch me. Mildred was almost completely deaf so she didn't hear me talking to my father. My mother was almost never home and when she was she was constantly nit-picking about what I was doing. My room wasn't clean enough, the food wasn't cooked properly, I needed to get better grades, and nothing I seemed to do was good enough for her. She finally mellowed out when she met her future husband Phil. I love Phil, I think of him as a second father because he was always there for me, when my mom would go away on a business trip he would stay home with me. The only time he wasn't there was when he had a game. You see Phil was a pro football player for the San Francisco 49ers and anytime they had an away game he would take me with him. I went to every game and to almost every practice; I ended up being home-schooled because I was never home. I don't know what he sees in my mom but he says he loves her so I'll take his word for it. I decided that when I turned 16 I would move in with my dad because it was just about to be my senior year and I wanted to go to a real high school for a change. Phil was pretty upset and my mom tried to make me not go but in the end I won and I was soon on my way to my dad's house in Austin. Phil had gotten me a car for my birthday, well not just any car a black Ford F150, from the moment I saw it I fell in love with it so instead of flying down I drove down.

My dad was so happy to see me and I was so happy to see him. We were now finally getting a chance to form a bond. My Junior and Senior year seemed to fly by and before I knew it, it was time to apply for colleges. I had fallen in love with Austin the moment I got there so it was no surprise that I ended up attending the University of Texas at Austin. My dad was pleased that I was staying close to him and also going to his Alma Matter that he ended up paying for my 4 years of schooling with the help of Phil. I still got to see Phil because whenever he had a break he would come down to see Charlie and I. The two of them had bonded also because of their mutual love for football and their mutual hatred of the New York Yankees. Both were born and raised in Texas, both went to UT, and both had been married to or were married to my mother.

Once I came to the realization that I didn't care what my mother thought of my decision I was going to stick to it. Either way I knew I would have support from both Phil and my father. I didn't realize the time until I checked my phone and found out I had been sitting in the bath tub for over an hour and a half. I guess I got a little carried away thinking about my parents because my bath water was starting to become cold. I downed the rest of my wine and got out of the bath and into my nice warm bed. I quickly fell asleep dreaming of a little baby girl and two smiling men.

The next morning I woke up with plenty of time to take my morning jog and be home in time to make it to the agency. I always try and work out either by running or going to the gym to swim or use the workout machines they have because I view my body as a temple and I need to take care of it. I also make sure to eat healthy I mean I'm not vegetarian but I make sure to not eat to many unhealthy foods, although I do have a weakness and that is coffee, I realize that once I become pregnant I won't be able to have coffee until I have the child but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

I left my house at 9:45 in the morning because the agency was just a 10 minute drive away. I found a parking space close to the entrance of the building and walked in.

" Hi I'm Isabella Swan I am here to fill out some paperwork."

"Hi Isabella, if you will take these papers here and start filling them out at one of the tables over there," she was pointing to these little cubicles with a comfy chair and moveable table in them, " then once you are finished bring them back to me and we will have one of the Overseers come out and bring you to their office to talk about what you have chosen and written down on these forms."

That sounded simple enough and with a thank you I went over to one of the cubicles and started to fill out the forms. They started out basic and then gradually required more thought out answers. But in the end they didn't take me very long to accomplish and I ended up finishing them in about 45 minutes. I turned them back into to the lady at the front desk who wasn't Angela. 5 minutes later I heard my name being called so I got up and walked over to a lady who introduced herself as Emily. Emily turned out to be one of the co-founders of Surrogates of Texas and had been a surrogate herself which I thought was quite interesting. She took me to her office and we started talking about what I had put down on the forms.

"So I see that you are almost 23, have no children, are not married and currently employed by St. David's." Emily started out by saying.

"Yes, I just recently graduated from nursing school with a BSN. I have been working for close to 6 weeks at St. David's and am not currently in a relationship with anyone nor do I have any children."

"Why do you want to be a surrogate then?"

"Well I saw an ad in the news paper for a surrogate and I realized that my dream of giving another couple the possibility of having a child could actually happen. I have always wanted to be pregnant but I don't know if I want to parent and what better way than by being a surrogate. It had nothing to do with the money I just want to make someone else's dream come true."

"That is very noble of you to do. Truth be told that's exactly why I became a surrogate also. When asked what kind of couple you would want to be a surrogate for you put down it didn't matter. Does that include gay or bi men? Or do you only want to be a surrogate for heterosexual couples?"

"It does include gay/bi men in fact I would prefer to have a child for them."

"You have also put down that you would use you r own egg if it came down to it. Since you want to be a surrogate for a homosexual couple and they agreed you would donate some of your eggs?"

"Yes I would because then they would know the person the eggs are coming from and it would make it easier for them."

"Now because we are in the state of Texas, you and the biological father will have legal rights over the child until a new birth certificate is issued with both men listed as fathers. This also means if you decide that you wish to keep the child instead of the intended parents then you will have more of a chance than if you didn't donate the eggs. I am not saying you will do that but it has been known to happen."

"I understand, that is not what I want because I am going into this knowing this is not my child and I will not be raising it."

"Good, I like to hear that. Just as a precaution we are going to require that you see a psychologist of your choosing every week once you hit your 20 week mark. If you need him/her before that time then by all means go ahead and see them. We want you to have a successful experience and be helped throughout your whole pregnancy."

"Thank you for that."

"Don't worry about it. Now lets talk about your day to day activities and what you do for fun and what you eat that sort of thing. You have put down that you work 4 days a week and have 3 days off. How does that go?"

" Well I start off on Mondays with a 36 hour shift that goes from 8 in the morning to 8 on Tuesday night. During that time I get, depending on which department I'm working in and how many patients I have, 5-7 hours of sleep which is actually quite a lot. Then I am off all of Wednesday and don't go in to work until 12 on Thursday I work until 10 that night and don't go in until 10 on Friday. I get off at 8 on Friday and both Saturday and Sunday I have off."

"That sounds very tiring, when you become pregnant depending on what the couple wishes you will more than likely have to cut down your hours. Are you ok with doing that?"

"Yes I am. I will cut down my hours to a more normal time, but I will wish to continue working up until I can't work any longer."

"That is reasonable, I was the same way. Now let's talk about your activities and what foods you eat and don't eat."

"Well I try and work out every day and I know that when I become pregnant I will have to cut down on that when the pregnancy progresses but right now I run about 3 miles a day and swim for 4 hours a week, I also go to the gym and work out. I like to when I'm not exercising or working I like to cook and bake, I also like to crochet and knit. Most weekends I go out with my dad to the lake and we fish and have parties. Now for the foods I eat, I eat seafood which I know I won't be able to eat when I'm pregnant, I eat salads and many kinds of fruit, I eat all different kinds of meat. Whatever my dad and I hunt and kill I usually eat. I try to stay away from caffeine and sodas but I love coffee and with my job I need it. I also stay away from junk food and try to eat as organically as possible."

"That sounds good, as for the coffee you won't be able to drink it while you are pregnant but you are allowed one cup of decaf a day. The exercise is actually a good thing so keep it up because it will help the baby and your blood circulation, when you decrease your running you can increase your swimming actually so you will be able to stay active. That's what I did when I was pregnant. I am going to ask you so questions now that have to pertain to what the intended parents usually ask for.

"The first question is: if they asked you to move into their house would you?"

"I would it depends on when they ask me and if I felt like it was truly necessary, I don't want to feel like a freeloader so I would help out around the house by cleaning up and cooking some nights."

"If they asked you to take maternity leave when you hit your 7 month mark would you?"

"Once again if I felt like it would be necessary and I couldn't handle the work load then yes I would but only if it was truly necessary."

"Will you accept money for any clothing or necessities that you may need in the future?"

"Yes to a certain amount. I wouldn't want them to spend large amounts of money on me but if they offered I would accept some compensation along with the money they are paying me for the child." I know that sounds so impersonal but it is true I will be getting paid to have a child for them.

"Will you allow them in the delivery room and to go to doctors appointments?"

"Of course, this is their child and I don't want them to miss the birth or miss seeing their child while it is inside of me."

"Are you going to choose where the baby is born, who your doctor will be, what pain meds you will use, and what kind of birth you are going to have?"

"Yes I am. I will ask their input on everything but in the end it will be my decision. I will not have an epidural unless I truly need it, and I have yet to decide on a home birth or a water birth."

"For right now that is all the questions I have for you, the couple might have some questions of their own so keep that in mind. I also think we are done going over your form. It looks like we have covered everything and we can always sit down if something comes up. Now you know that once we match you with the couple you will have a baby for we will step out of the way. We will provide you with support groups or if you ever need advice you can call our hotline but for the most part our job is to match surrogate with intended parents. You and the intended parents will decide what IVF clinic you will use and how much involvement there will be with lawyers and the like."

"Yes I understand. I will make sure to go to the support clinics if needed and to procure a lawyer. Thank you so much for choosing me to be a surrogate and I hope to meet the intended parents soon."

"You should be matched within a matter of days to a couple and once you have been matched you will meet and if all goes well then a contract will be made stating everything you will have agreed to in writing and the first payment will be made. Then once you become pregnant a second payment will be made and each month you will get paid. Once the baby is born you will be paid the rest of what you are owed."

"That soon, well I can't wait, let's get this process started."

"Haha. Well if that is all you are free to leave and one of the receptionists will call you in a couple of days with your match."

"Ok. Thank you. Good bye."

And with that I left the agency ecstatic. I hoped the next couple of days went by fast.

As I was driving into work on Friday morning I got a call from the agency and once again it was Angela.

"Hi Bella its Angela from Surrogates of Texas and I was calling to inform you that we found a couple that fits you perfectly."