My names Alex. Lexi for short. Im nothing special. Brown hair, brown eyes, dark skin. Just ordinary. Ive never been even close to special. Im not rich, I have a drunk for a mother, and my dad could be the fucking neighbor far as she can remember. As you can tell my life pretty much sucks. The only thing that keeps me going everyday are my two brothers; Declan, who is 12, Conner, who is 9, and my sister Sammie, who is 4.Im the clostest thing they've ever had to a mother. While she was fucking Dan, Tom, Jack or whoever else she picked up that night, starting at only 8, I was changing diapers, fixing up formula, and bandaging up scraped knees.
I never really had a childhood. I was way to busy making sure my brothers and sister didnt have to go through what i had to. I didnt have anyone to hide me when my mom and her boytoy were fighting or to make sure i wasnt around when "Bill" ran out of beer.
When i was younger, before Declan came into the picture, I would spend as much time as i could over at Sarahs apartment which was a couple of floors below me. Sarahwas a widow who lost her husband and two children to a car accident that had left her paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life. She new what i had to endure day in and day out and of course i made her promise to never tell a soul. I was independent, I could take care of myself. Even though my mom wasnt a big part of my life, I still loved her more than anything and the last thing I wanted was to be taken away and to never be able to see her again.She needed me and if i was gone, who would be there to clean her up after a fight or hold her hair back while she was puking her guts out after yet another night of hell? I couldnt leave. Id give her maybe two weeks before one of those bastards would go too far. No..this was how my life was supposed to be..keeping her safe and trying to keep myself out of trouble at the same time.
Sarah always said that i would go far in life and that i wouldnt turn out like my mother. When i was 6, she insited that i enroll in school and get the education that would ensure me the life that i deserved. I vaguely remember walking into my mothers room and telling her that i wanted to go to school like all the other kids. Surprisingly she was completely of the idea and found enough energy to walk down the street and enroll me the following day. Her boyfriend Brad wasnt too thrilled about it though and whenhe learned about what she had done, he demanded that we go back and unenroll me immediatly. It was expansive to send a child to school, and we barely had enough money as it was. My mom explained that she would get a job and that she refused to let some lazy ass bum tell her how she was going to raise her child. The last thing i remember is Brad opening my door and yanking me out of bed. The next morning i woke up with a broken arm, three missing teeth, and bruises all over my body. We won in the end though, Brad left a few days later and before long, I was standing on the steps of Degrassi Elementary, lunchbox in hand.
School soon became a haven to me. My mom had found another man drew who was just like, if not worse, than Brad. She kept her promise of getting a job though, so i knew she was okay during the day while i wasnt there. I loved school more than anything. Back then, noone cared what you wore, what you looked like, or how you acted. Everyone was accepted. There were no labels and that was how i liked it. Diane was my first bestfriend and we were always together. We were soon named the duo of doom jokingly by our teachers and the other students.. Of course our out of school time together was never spent at my house, only at hers. I knew that if she found out about my life at home, she would be scared off and i wasnt ready to lose her. Our friendship was way too important to me.
When i was in 3rd grade, My brother Declan(dee) Thomas Nunez was born. My mother would have to quit her job and i believed that this was the end of everything. I knew that id have to quit going to school because i know hat two people to take care of, my mother and the new baby. Id lose all the friendships i had worked hard to make over the past 2 years. and even worse, id lose diane. but sarah had another idea. She would watch Dee while i was at school until he was old enough to start school himself That way my mom could keep her job and i could stay in school.
My mother had two other children after that, both of which came from two different fathers whos identities were of course unknown. Either way i still loved Conner Trey Nunez and Samantha(sammie) Marie Nunez with all of my heart. They also stayed with Sarah until they were old enough to start school.
Although i could keep all three of them from harm during the day, in the evening, it was a completely different story. I often found myself shaking the two boys awake in the middle of the night and hiding them someplace safe, where "he" could not lay a hand on them. Declan the oldest of the three at the age of 6, new the drill. He would grab conner by the hand, pick Sammie up out of her crib, and listen to every order I gave to him. I was now 14 and much stronger and smarter. Id go out into the living room and see plates shattered, chairs upturned, and my mom on the floor drunk and hysterical. Id check her for any severe injuries and then put her to bed. This routine was always the same. I wouldnt allow the kids to come out until "he" had stormed from the apartment in a fit of rage and i was sure that he was not coming back.
Time had flown by so fast, I was now starting High School where i knew everything would change. Boys, sex, alcohol, and drugs were just a few of the things id have to go through. Dianes older sister Terry who was 17 had warned us about everything. I was honestly scared to death. It was the night before school and I spent the night over at Dianes house so that we could walk to Degrassi High together in the morning. Sarah had agreed to take Dee, Conner, and Sammie for that and i was so thankful for that. I needed Diane there with me. We did what every girl did before their first day of school. Picked out what we were going to wear, expiremented with makeup, and tryed out different hair doos.
Freshman year passed with ease. It was my sophmore year when i noticed that everything was starting to change. Diane had started dating Jay Hogarth. Jay was the definition of a bad boy. He went to parties, expiremented with drugs, had sex, everything that was considered not allowed. One night Diane called me up and asked me to go to some guys party with her and jay. I was hesitant at first but after a lot of begging, i decided to go. I went and before long i was completely trashed. I couldnt find Diane anywhere and instead i found myself alone in room with jay. NOT GOOD. I have to admitt though that jay was and is still amazingly hott. Im sure any girl, not to mention one with a few drinks in her, would have done exactally what i had done. It all happened so fast. My clothes were off, his clothes were off, and then it was over. I didnt know what i was doing. The only thing i knew about sex is what i saw whenever i walked in on my mom and some random guy or by what i had seen on television. Of course Diane found out about what i had done and soon the whole school knew too. I was now the school slut, loser, freak, all of the above. I was resolved to the lowest of the low. I was a nobody, like i had been my whole life. How could i have even thought that i deserved more. Diane now completely ignored me and began hanging out with the popular girls and i was stuck with Jay. Me and Jay dated on and off for a while and i actually believed that i was in love until he gave me gonoreah. After that i was opposed to even touch the bastard. On top of it all, my mom was now drinking more than ever and the kids were getting bigger so it was harder to hide them when Todd was on the rampage. I needed a solution fast. Sometimes i thought of suicide but i knew i could never do that to the kids or my mom. They depended on me and i would never leave them to deal with this all on their own. I believed myself selfish for even thinking about taking my life. My grades started and i knew i was on the path to ending up just like my mother. I stopped visiting Sarah; i was too ashamed. She had done everything to help get me a better life and now i was throwing it all down the drain.