Disclaimer: I do not own Bebop or Dashboard Confessional or Spiderman 2.Blarg...
A/N: Ok...I now...OFFICIALLY...Have written a Spike Songfic! Wooooo! Someone actually suggested Nickelback's 'How You Remind Me' but I stuck with my original idea. And that was to include 'Vindicated' by Dashboard Confessional. So...enjoy...
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Spike fell over onto the stairs and closed his eyes. He wasn't dead yet though. "Am I still alive?" He opened his eyes and looked up. It was nothing but darkness. "I'm dreaming again." The darkness faded out and to an old memory.
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
Spike looked over and saw himself talking to Mao and Annie. He sat down and looked over to his younger self who didn't see him. "Did I really make the right choice? Was joining the syndicate right all along?" Spike looked over and saw all three of them laugh. They were all gone now. Including him.
And roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated
Spike's other self left the room and met with Vicious outside. Spike watched. They talked like old friends who had known each other their whole lives. No betrayals. "What about Vicious? Should I have been friends with him?" As Spike's other self continued to talk, the real Spike walked down the hall and felt himself being passed through.
I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along
Spike still walked along as the memory shifted. It was now in a small room. His younger self was smoking and looking out a window. He didn't have a shirt on. The bathroom door opened and out came a familiar sight. "Julia..."
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
Julia walked over to the other Spike and hugged him. He turned around and kissed her. The real Spike sat in a chair and watched them. "What about Julia? Was I truly in love with her?" He put his hand over his eyes. "Was it really meant to be?" He put his head in his hands as the memory changed.
So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intentions
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
Spike looked up to see something shining. It was Faye's necklace. Spike looked over to see Faye walk over to the couch where the other Spike was sleeping. She looked down upon him and lightly touched his face. The Spike on the couch slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Faye. "Where did you get that?" Faye gave a mischievous grin. "I bought it with the money from my last bounty." The other Spike gave her a strange look as he sat up. "Really? Didn't spend it all in a casino?" Faye nodded as the other Spike stood up and walked out of the room. Faye looked over at him wistfully as Ed came up from behind and scared her. The real Spike looked at Faye. "Was she really it?"
And rendered me so isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that
The memory changed to last night. The night he left the Bebop. His other self left as Faye shot holes into the ceiling. She bursted out into tears. The real Spike tried to touch her shoulder but it passed through. Jet walked by. He wasn't sure how to help her. "How could I be so blind?", said Spike, "Faye really loved me and I didn't realize it." He sunk against the wall and he saw the flicker again.
I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along
Spike looked at it as it swung back and forth. The memory darkened out and nothing was left except the flicker. Suddenly, It stopped.
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
The flicker stood still and Spike heard a voice. "Please wake up Spike..." Spike looked at the flicker of light. "Faye?"
So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Spike slowly opened his eyes and looked up at the white hospital ceiling. He was in so much pain. He turned his head towards Faye. Her eyes were red and puffy and she wore the necklace that she had in that one memory. He slowly reached up and touched her face. "Spike...you're alive..." Spike coughed. He felt some blood come up. "Not for too much longer."
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
"What?" Faye held Spike's hand. "You can't die. We need you." Tears fell down her face. "I need you." Spike grinned as he felt Faye's hand.
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
"Faye, possibly the only right choice I made in life was teaming up with Jet. If I didn't, I wouldn't have met you or Ed." He coughed again. "I'm sorry for everything Faye."
I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along
Faye looked at him. "Never be sorry." Spike laughed a little but coughed again. "Faye, I did respect you. I just never showed it. I'm sorry I was so shallow. But when I was in that coma, I realized many things. I'm sorry I never realized you loved me." Faye was taken back. "Spike, don't do this to me."
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
Spike looked at Faye. "It's too late Faye." He leaned his head back, still holding her hand. "I do love you, Faye Valentine." He slowly closed his eyes and his hand went limp.
Slight hope
It dangles on a string
"Spike!!!"
Like slow spinning redemption...