AN: So I was completely inspired by Danny's reaction to his shootout with the loan shark in 'Point of No Return' that I just had to write this.
Please review afterwards!
Playing it Safe
Daniel Messer had never been the type of person who played it safe. He had given his mother and grandmother plenty of panic attacks when he was a child due to his rash actions, and he's never really outgrown it. When he was a kid he would always choose 'dare' whenever he and his friends played truth or dare. He had jumped off of a second story balcony, streaked naked through his high school campus during the big homecoming game, and once even egged the local police station. Nothing was too risky or scandalous for a teenage Danny.
By the time he was in college, he no longer needed dares to do something impulsive, and he had gotten into plenty of fights during those wild four years as a result. Most of the time he got into fights for various reasons (like when he would feel up some girl in front of her guy), but even then he couldn't deny that what he'd done was stupid. Yet out of all the thoughtless fights he'd gotten into, he knew that the one that ended his professional baseball dreams was the one that took the cake. If he's honest he knows that he isn't bitter about it. He loves his job and everything that it brought him.
Then there was that whole mess with the undercover cop. He remembers when he chased after that suspect that led to the subway shootout and officer Minhas's death all those years ago, and he still feels regret. He regrets ever springing into an adrenaline filled action and engaging in a blind shootout where more than one person could have been killed. He knew he was lucky to have been cleared of all charges, but the guilt still sometimes creeps up on him and he swears he'll never what he did again.
"Danny, you okay man?" Flack asks him after he walks away from Little Stevie's body.
"Yeah, man. I'm fine." he responds, keeping his voice as steady as he could while he wipes his blood stained hands on his shirt.
"Ya sure?"
The skepticism was clear in his friend's blue eyes.
"Yeah, Flack. I'm sure."
The ride back to the lab is a silent one. He feels Flack glance back at him from the rear view mirror from time to time, but he keeps his gaze on the world outside them. He's managed to calm his nerves enough so he's not shaking too much, but he's still breathing a little to raggedly, even for his own ears.
The sensation of hearing his blood pound through his veins and reverberate in his ears reminds him of when he made the quick decision to fly to Bozeman to see Lindsay. He had been more than a little delirious by the time he finished his shift that night, and even more so by the time the plane had taken off. He had managed to stay calm throughout the flight by passing out into a dead sleep, but by the time he was walking down the hall and into the court room he felt his heartbeat pick up. He remembered his heart continuously pounding in his chest the whole time Lindsay was on the stand testifying, and it had only picked up when she stepped down and sat beside him, holding his hand.
"We're here, Dan." Flack says, breaking the silence when he pulls into the crime lab's underground parking structure.
Slowly unbuckling his seat belt, as to not get blood on the fabric, he makes his way out of the SUV and into the main lobby. He gets looks from the people passing by him, but he isn't surprised. He is, after all, covered in blood.
"Danny, go change and take a break." Mac tells him.
"Sure, boss." He says, absently nodding back to him while making his way to the locker rooms.
As he enters the locker room he looks down and sees how bad the damage is to his shirt, and then he's suddenly got the need to get rid of it. The dark brown stains on the fabric remind him of how his shirt looked like after being taken hostage by the Irish mob. He supposes that he was luckier then, he didn't lose pint upon pint of blood, and it could have been much worse. It could have been Lindsay that they took hostage along with Adam and those two cops.
After quickly unbuttoning the salmon shirt, he practically rips it off and throws it into the trash, unable to look at it anymore. He makes his way to the sink and lets out a deep breath before staring at his reflection. He shakes his head at the memory of nearly getting his face shot off, and he knows he can't afford to be in that situation again. The sound of the bullets flying by him and hitting the table he hid behind plays in his ears, but all he could think about is his family.
'Christ.' He thinks. 'I nearly died today.'
Lindsay would have had to raise their baby on her own if Little Stevie had gotten to him first, and he would have never gotten to meet the person who already meant the world to him.
'I can't do that anymore.'
He realizes that he can no longer run into situations with guns blazing if he ever wants to grow old with his wife and see their child grow up. Looking back down at his hands he notices that there was blood in the grooves of his wedding ring, so he turns on the water and begins to furiously wash it off. He never wants to see his ring covered in blood.
He manages to get the band somewhat clean before his phone rings. He sees that it's Lindsay so he quickly pulls off the ring, places it on the sink and dries off his hands on his jeans. He lets out a short sigh of happiness as he feels a smile form on his face. Just the thought of his wife calling to relieve herself from the boredom of Montana rids his mind of the memories of the shootout.
"Hey, babe." He answers, silently cursing at how shaky his voice is.
"Hey, Danny." Lindsay replies, her voice helping to sooth his rattled nerves.
"How ya feelin'?"
"Really good actually. Mom took me out baby shopping to relieve my boredom."
"That's good."
Damn it, he's still breathing too harshly, and he knows that she noticed.
"Danny, are you busy? What's going on there, anything new?"
He keeps his eyes on his reflection, trying to maintain a smile as he tries to loosen the tension in his neck and shoulders.
"Same ol', same ol' over here."
Their conversation continues as she tells him about all the things she and her mother have purchased for the baby, and he gradually feels himself relax. He takes a seat on one of the benches, and tells her that he doesn't mind what color the kiddo's pajama's come in. It's when Lindsay starts talking about buying safety covers for the outlets in their apartment that he is reminded of his promise to himself and his family. He walks back to the sink and finishes washing away all of the blood on his hands and arms, slipping his wedding ring back onto his finger.
They wind down their conversation after twenty more minutes with the promise to call her after his shift is over.
"Please be careful, Danny." She says in earnest.
"I will, Montana." He replies, hoping that she could hear the equally earnest promise behind the teasing tone of his voice.
"We love you."
"I love you two, too."
And with that, they hang up. He slips his phone back into his pocket and goes to his locker to get a new shirt. He can't help but feel slightly comforted at the fresh scent emanating from it, and he remembers that Lindsay had laundered it only a few days ago. He looks into his locker, making sure he's got everything he needs, and finds his vest hanging there. He takes it off its hook before closing the metal door and heading upstairs to his office. He's promised to be careful and he's going to follow through with it, starting with making sure he always has his vest with him. He really does need to start playing it safe more because he figures that if he gets himself hurt, Lindsay may just kill him.
