The past never dies.
"Abe," Janine's voice sung sweetly in my ear as I turned around, facing the beautiful young woman before me. She was a little younger then I, though not by much. "Won't you come inside?"
I was roaming around in the fresh air, taking in all the academy in Montana had to offer. Janine was just recently graduated and I knew she would soon be shipped elsewhere around the world, anywhere that needed her assistance. She was one of the best guardians, maybe even the best female guardian I ever came across. Her stealth, strength and courage proved a threat to any. I nodded, "Yes, darling." I said, "I'll be in shortly."
She nodded and turned, going inside with her best, dhampir friend, Cassandra. Janine and I had an... interesting relationship. We weren't publicly together, although there were a few times we've hooked up, and I cared about her deeply. I never managed to tell her I love her, though. It... wasn't me to get so deeply involved in emotions, although it was true, I loved her and she was my one and only ever since I laid my eyes on her.
I walked a little more, snow gently falling from the dark, calming sky and landing on my coat along with the winter wonderland around me. It was early December in Montana, and like always, snow covered everything. It was so serene and sometimes, it was hard to believe that there could be such a harmonious place on earth with all the evil in our world. I inhaled the cold winter air then exhaled. It turned white around me like a cloud of smoke.
After another few minutes of admiring the outdoors, I decided to go join Janine by the fire in her dorm room. I got up and strode across the ground, entering the academy and going to her room. I didn't knock, I just went in, taking my coat off. "Hello darling," I said, seeing her admiring the snow falling from the window, the fire burning brightly in the fireplace.
She smiled, turning around and her long brown hair and captivating big, brown eyes sent chills down my spine. "Hey," she said, timidly. She was always a little... awkward around me at first. It seemed as though she thought I expected more of her then I did. She was perfect, inside and out and I always tried to convince her of that. I smiled, going over and taking her small frame into my arms, pulling her close.
"It's beautiful outside," I said, breathing in the coconut smell of her hair as she nodded, smiling up at me. I rested our foreheads together. "Though not near as beautiful as you."
I seen a scarlet colouring fill her cheeks and she brought her lips to mine. I smiled against her lips, kissing her back gently and lovingly. When she pulled back, I smiled down at her and took her hand, leading her over to the pillows and cushions on the floor in front of the fireplace. I sat down with her in my arms as we leaned against more cushions behind us. Janine looked up to me, her big, brown eyes burning into mine with the look that we shared occasionally that showed me she wanted me just as much as I wanted her. I brought my lips down to hers and lowered her, so she was lid down on the pillows, blankets and cushions underneath us and I hovered over her. I kissed her hungrily and she kissed me eagerly as I brought my fingers to the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up, and off with her help. Then, the night went on from there.
Three and a half months later...
It was early March and the snow was just beginning to clear to make way for the flowers to start blooming again, the birds to come back out, and the world to come back to life once more, rejuvenating. I was in my dorm room, looking out the window as Janine and I did frequently the past few months. Although, I had my suspicions of her lately. She was always hungry, too warm and irritable and I wondered what was happening to my angel. I still hadn't told her how I truly feel, although, it wasn't fair to either of us the way she had changed ever so slightly.
I heard a knock come upon my door and I quirked a brow, knowing Janine was supposed to be in the gym, helping some novices. I wondered who else it could be. When I opened it, I seen Cassandra. Janine's best friend.
"Abe... Janine needs you... now." And as soon as the words left her mouth, I nodded and exited the room, letting her lead me to the woman I love.
"She's in there," she said, gesturing to the family bathroom beside us with an 'Out of Order' sign on the door that obviously wasn't professional.
I nodded, puzzled and entered curiously, finding her leaning against one of the stalls, tears streaming down her face, a little, white stick in between her index finger and thumb. I went over, my head attempting to put the pieces together, but my heart not letting it until I walked over, seeing the little, pink '+' sign on the small screen. I lost all breath then and I shook my head, my world beginning to spin. "Janine..."
"Abe, I'm sorry... I didn't mean for this to happen." she said, brokenly, dropping the stick.
It took me a few, long moments to respond. I was in shock a very appropriate state to be in at this moment. But, removing myself from the equation, I got down, sitting next to her and pulled her into my arms. "It'll be okay..." I whispered in her ear, kissing her hair. "I promise. I love you, Janine."
And at those words, she looked at me, wide-eyed. "Really... you... you love me?"
I chuckled softly. I thought it was obvious to this point. "Yes, really. I love you."
She smiled and started crying again, wrapping her arms around my neck. "I love you, too." she said, almost inaudibly.
I couldn't help but to have a smile on my face and kept her close. "Are you going to have this baby?" I had asked her after a few moments.
She frowned, pulling back. "I don't know... God, I really don't know."
I nodded.
"What do you want to do?" she asked, biting her lip. "He or she is yours, too."
I felt a queasy feeling in my stomach at that. This would tie me down and make a man out of me, if I let it. "I don't know," And those words alone, knowing I wasn't sure about my future daughter or son, made her give me the cold shoulder, getting up off the bathroom floor, shaking her head. "I knew it was a mistake... being with you. I knew something like this would happen and you would just... get up and leave, or something."
"Janine," I said, standing as well. "I love you, I do, but a baby? I'd have to be foolish to give up everything, and you would too!" I hadn't realized I was yelling until she shushed me.
"Someone will hear," she said sternly, wiping her face clear of the little make up and tears still visible on her cheeks. "keep it down." she chastised me.
I went over, sighing, wrapping my arms around her from behind. "Love... please, don't have this baby. You want my input, there it is. It will ruin your future." And mine, but I kept that to myself.
She shook me off. "Abe, how can you say that?" she asked, turning to face me. "A baby, our baby." she said, tears shining in her beautiful brown eyes.
"It's not a baby," I objected. "It's a piece of tissue." Though I knew that wasn't entirely true. "It will be a baby though if you don't fix this." And with that, I left, furious. I seen Cassandra standing outside and as soon as I stepped into the hall, she reached up, slapping me.
"You're an ass-hole," she spat, rushing past me into the bathroom to comfort her best friend.
What had I done? I sighed as my cheek stung and shook my head, stalking off outside. This wasn't fair. She couldn't just expect me to drop everything and raise a child with her... I'd lose everything and so would she. I shook my head angrily. I knew everything Janine and I had accumulated would be gone if I left or didn't help her raise our child and although it would kill me... I wasn't ready for a child. I had made up my mind at that moment, unable to be a father figure in the least. I wasn't a loving, caring person. I couldn't bring up a baby, but I knew Janine, if she chose to, would do a fine job on her own. I would feel terrible for leaving but I had to.
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Authors Note:
Hope you guys like this little story. I'm not sure if I will add anything on, if I do, it won't be many chapters, but let me know what you all think.
Reviews? :D
~ DramaticField