Disclaimer: Not Mine!


The first time he tried to kiss his partner, she appeared, standing right in front of him, watching him with something akin to curiosity in her eyes. He pulled back and offered the woman in front of him a small smile. She gave one in return and left.

"What are you doing here?" he hissed at the apparition, after glancing around to make sure no one else was in earshot. She only looked at him, sadness in her eyes. Unlike last time, she wasn't wearing a sexy schoolgirl outfit. She was just wearing normal clothes – like she was going to work. The expression on her face was one he had never seen before. She took a step forward, reaching out to him, and then Abby opened the door and he jerked his head round. Looking back, she had disappeared.


When he was smiling at Jeanne across the table, he saw her, standing right next to him. He saw her, but didn't say anything. When Jeanne stood up to go to the bathroom, he turned and glared. She just stared at him, like a lost little girl.

"This isn't…I don't…"

"It's wrong," she said softly, "Playing with her heart. We don't like it."

"We?"

"Women, Tony!" for a moment she sounded like herself, "Don't be so inconsiderate. Don't…"

"Don't what?" Tony asked, when she paused. Kate just shook her head sadly. "What's the point of seeing you if all you do is say cryptic things and then disappear. Do you know how hard it is, seeing you, being reminded….why do you do that to me? You're dead, Kate. Why don't you stay that way?" Almost instantly he regretted his words – then wondered why he felt bad for insulting a vision.

"You know how you feel," she said, but then Jeanne came back and she was gone.


When he got home and sank into a chair after the whole mess with Jeanne was over, she was there. This time she was wearing pajama pants and a tee shirt – her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She looked as bad as he felt – the tears dripping down her cheeks were testament to that.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice instantly turning concerned. She just looked at him, pain and longing in her eyes.

"Katie," he smiled, teasing her with the name. Her expression only seemed to get more upset.

"Why are you crying?"

"It feels better." She said simply. A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts, and by the time he had convinced the drunk teenagers that this was not their apartment, she had gone. Tears filled his eyes and the day's events caught up to him. He blinked them back.


When his partner had gone missing, and Gibbs was gone, and he was pretty sure that they would all end up dead or imprisoned or worse, she appeared. She was standing in the corner of the morgue, watching as his team all signed their lives and futures away for a woman who could possibly be a traitor. And as their hands connected, suddenly her hand was there too – and she smiled sadly at him.

"I'd do it for you too," she said, "and you'd do it for me."

She didn't come back until the end of the day, smiling as he watched the news and complained. She slapped him upside the head – but he said it didn't hurt much. When he got home she frowned at him and tried again – still, he could hardly feel it.

"Here," he reached behind and slapped himself, "Better?"

"You didn't do it hard enough," she smiled at him. He did it again. "Better," she confirmed.


When he was laying on his bed, about to make love to his perfect, crazy, assassin partner, she stood in the corner of the room, arms crossed, frowning. There was no sadness from her – not this time. And she wasn't wearing anything like she had worn before. Instead, it was the outfit she had donned when they went "undercover" to the paternity testing clinic. He hesitated.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Ziva said suddenly, rolling off the bed and grabbing her shirt, "I'm sorry. I…" she turned and left. Kate kept glaring at him.

"So now you fantasize about her?"

"Kate…Look – it's not my fault. It's been four years – I'm sorry."

"Why? Why did you have to go and fall for the one who replaced me? Like she's so much better than me."

"Kate – I didn't mean to. It doesn't mean that what I felt for you wasn't real."

"Remember this?" she asked, looking down at her clothes.

"Yeah – the undercover thing. Jerry Springer couple," he added with a grin, "Why?"

"It was yours."


It was almost cold out, but not cold enough to warrant long sleeves. The cemetery was deserted – no one went out to visit graves in weather like this.

"Yeah," Tony muttered, "When the sun is shining and the temperature is a lovely 70 degrees it's all 'let's make sure Grandma and Grandpa have flowers and aren't forgotten' but God forbid anyone actually go through discomfort to honor the dead."

"That's low, Tony, even for you." He turned, and there she was. Of course. He had been expecting it really – this was what happened, after all.

"Yeah, well…I guess people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, huh? Never did get around to visiting."

"No one did. Well," Kate amended, smiling, "She did."

"Abby?"

Kate laughed, "Abby practically lives in a graveyard, she doesn't need to visit one. She comes sometimes – she used to come a lot. Not as much now. That's good – moving on. I'm glad. Still…it gets lonely. But no, not Abby. Her – she replaced me, took my job, my desk, my friends and my…and you. But she came – twice. Once after Ari…she told me the whole story. Sat here and talked to me all night long. Told me I could go in peace, now, since I'd been avenged. Told me she was sorry for not having seen his betrayal sooner. Told me all about herself. And she told me she was taking my job but not replacing me. It was nice – not being alone. It's almost impossible to hate someone when they're so nice…to a dead person."

"That's the first time you've said it," Tony said suddenly, stopping as they walked closer and closer to her grave. "The first time any of us has ever said it."

"Well it's true. I'm dead."

"Then why are you still here?"

"Unfinished business?" she said, laughing. He smiled. "I don't know. Maybe you just won't let me leave."

"So you're a figment of my imagination, is that right?"

"Maybe."

Tony opened his mouth to say something, but Kate was gone. Again. Sighing, he made his way to her gravestone and knelt down. The ground was still frozen, and he found himself wondering if she was cold. Then he shook his head to clear his thoughts. He put the small bouquet of flowers down – they were multicolored, a combination. They said, 'I like you, but I'm not pushing for anything you don't want'. Kate would tell him they said, 'I like you, but I don't want anything long term, because I'm a jerk'. Maybe she was right – maybe not.

"I miss you. I admit it. And I do like her – love her, even. But I still love you. I…I uh…wasn't sure if it was a boy or a girl. You probably didn't know either, but I figured this," he reached into his coat pocket and removed a teddy bear, with a yellow ribbon around its neck, "would work for either. So…I figure if it was a boy, we could've named him Michael. I like the name Michael – you?"

"Sounds a bit…stupid," Kate told him, and he turned to see her standing behind him, smiling.

"It's a good name!" he protested, and she grinned.

"Alright then. And if it was a girl?"

"Sasha," he said automatically.

"I like it…why?"

"Had a friend – " he began, when Kate raised her eyebrows. "Oh who has the dirty mind now?" he protested, "I was seven years old Kate! Anyway, she always said she would name her son after me, so I said I'd name my daughter after her."

"Where is she now?"

"Married with two boys – Jon and Kyle." Kate laughed. "Well," he added, "She is pregnant with her third, a girl, and this one is going to be Antonia." Kate laughed harder. Tony would give anything to hear that laugh again – for real.

"Is this the last time I'll see you?" he said suddenly, afraid of losing her as much as he wanted to move on.

"Probably. Now someone knows…now you know that you aren't just mourning for one. It wasn't right to leave here without you knowing."

"When did you find out?"

Kate said nothing. She just smiled at him, "I wish I could kiss you. One last time."

"Kate, why did you keep working? Why didn't you tell me?"

She still said nothing. She turned around and started walking away.

"Kate!"

She turned, her arms now clutching a tiny bundle of yellow cloth, "It's been four years, Tony. It's time to stop this."

"No!"

"You wanted me gone, remember? You wanted me out of your life so you could start over." Her voice held traces of anger in it.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, walking up to her. "I'm really, really sorry." He wrapped one hand around her head and pulled her closer, in a semi – hug around the fragile parcel she carried.

"One last kiss for me?"

He obeyed instantly. It was tender and sweet, full of promises that would never be kept. And then she was gone.


Review!