A/N: This is just a little drabble I came up with one day that wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it down.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, no matter how much I wish I owned Wicked.

I sat, desolately staring out the window at Kiamo Ko. I was trapped inside today, due to the rain pouring down in sheets outside. Trapped inside with only my thoughts and regrets.

Liir was off in some remote corner of the castle, presumably moping. Chistery was off minding Nanny so that she wouldn't hurt herself in her advanced age, and Killyjoy was asleep in the corner of the room, the crows on their perch right next to him.

I was struggling, trying to work through my regrets, trying to reason and rationalize all that I had done. Was I truly wicked? I wasn't quite sure. Did the ends always justify the means, as I had always thought? Or was that just what I told myself to keep the well deserved guilt from washing over me? Had I even achieved enough ends to justify the means if it was true?

Looking back on all the people I'd hurt, I began to think that maybe I truly was wicked.

Nessarose, my dearest sister. I was responsible for her deformity, and I knew it. It was all my fault. If I hadn't been born green, our mother wouldn't have had to take precautions to make sure Nessa wasn't, and Nessa wouldn't have ended up the way she did, armless and completely dependent upon others for everything.

Then, even though I knew her condition was all my fault, I left her. I did have a good reason, though, to help the Animals and to help end the corruption of the Wizard. But I could never shake that feeling of betraying Nessa. I just wish I had actually had the chance to apologize and receive forgiveness.

There was also another person I never received forgiveness from, though it was the only thing that brought me out to the Vinkus in the first place. Sarima, my lover's wife.

She wouldn't believe me when I told her I was responsible for Fiyero's death, and I couldn't bring myself to tell her exactly what was going on. Looking back, I really should have told her, and now I knew I'd never get a chance to.

Yet another thing that was my fault. I had to make that trip back to Munchkinland, and while I was there, Sarima, Irji, and Nor were all captured by the Gale Force. I knew that if I had been there, I could've stopped it. I felt solely responsible for it.

Thinking about all my regrets, instead of feeling depressed or upset, I began to feel empty and hollow. This made me wish I could feel, and made me think of the few people who had ever actually made it possible for me to feel like a normal person.

Yero, my hero. He had never been mine, but it felt like it. He wasn't a cruel person, and he never would've meant to betray anyone, but he didn't love Sarima and both of them knew it. He actually loved me. I've never figured out why, but I know he did. The time I spent with Fiyero was, in a way, the best part of my life.

My time at Shiz was almost as good. I actually managed to make a friend there, Galinda, or Glinda, as she was now called. She always fascinated me. She was so very different from me, and yet we managed, somehow, to become like friends. And then I'd had to leave her, she went back to Shiz while I had stayed behind in the Emerald City. I felt terrible for doing that, but I couldn't show it. I'd only seen her once since then, and that didn't end well.

Looking back on all the things I did, and all the people I hurt, I finally knew the truth. I was wicked. I hurt everyone I was ever close to, or ever cared about in the least. I could tell that even Liir and Nanny were at least partially wishing I would just die. I didn't blame them. I was wicked, through and through.

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