Hi all!
The idea for this story came already along during reading Deathly Hallows and resulted in this one-shot about one year later. Finally, I translated it into English and I hope you'll like it! :)
Since I'm not a native speaker, there will be for sure mistakes – please don't hesitate to correct me if you find anything.
The German version is also available here.
Summary:Nymphadora Tonks followed her husband in the crucial battle and died in it, like him. Their little son she entrusted to the care of her mother Andromeda who has a hard time coping with this stroke of fate. Will she understand sometime, why her daughter went for the fight?
Disclaimer:All characters of that fanfiction belong to J. K. Rowling, and I am not making any money out of it.
A/N: The lyrics below I translated from the "Wiegenlied (Cradle song)" by Edvard Grieg (Op. 9, No. 2). Recently, I found an English version of the original lyrics by Andreas Munch in the internet, but I chose to stick to the slightly different version I got to know from Grieg's song, since it fits better for Tonks' story.
Your son, Nymphadora
~by Yllana~
~~~oooOoOoOooo~~~
Sleep, my boy, now get to sleep,
Lying so softly in your crib,
Alas, the one who gave you life
Lies peacefully in the cold, dark grave
She cannot now as she went away,
Be there for you all night and day,
Cover you up inlove with your fleece,
Sing you asleep in heavenly peace
"Cradle song" by Edvard Grieg
~~~oooOoOoOooo~~~
Another hot summer day in the south of England draws to its close, fades to that mild twilight ambiance, that lets happy people become melancholic – however, tears the heart out of the lonesome. On such a night you lost your life. And since then, I'm lonely. Because now I had to give away all who were dear to me. All but your son, Nymphadora.
You were a fighter, with your body and soul. Was it really supposed to be the fate Merlin gave you to take with you, since the minute of your life you had to fight your way out into this world?
Since without your help, my daughter, we both wouldn't probably have survived your birth. You were like a miracle, an angel for us, whose foot maybe touched the earth only by mistake. Since you didn't want to stay long. Not even for him.
Not even for your son who has to go out into the wide world without his parents. Who is supposed to give him the roots we tried to give you, my girl?
Was this really bound to happen? I wonder, as I'm standing at the window watching the red sun sink down to the horizon. When did you see him last time, Nymphadora? Were you still alive, as he kissed the earth, which was red from all the blood having been shed? Could you give your lover the shelter he needed to keep death away a few minutes longer from him? I'll never know what it was good for, don't know yet what to tell Teddy when he grows up and begins to ask about you.
Your son is sleeping now, after he has been crying in my arms for over an hour; breathing evenly and calmly towards the coming night, a little angel, as you once were. Since you have gone, he hasn't changed his hair color even once. And the supply of milk, which you had frozen for him is exhausted since yesterday. While the last drops from your body were running through his throat, I cried my last tears. From now on, we have to go entirely without you, my child. I really try to live with it. Even though I'll never understand it wholeheartedly. There were so many others. Why you, Nymphadora? Only for fighting by his side?
"You would have done the same for Dad," you had thundered at me while you breastfed Teddy one last time; you could barely sit still in your chair, being in thought already with Remus on the battlefield, your hair was glowing red.
"I've done a lot for your father," I answered slowly. "But I would never ever have left you alone! He could take care of himself. You couldn't. And Teddy – he is less than three months old!"
Your shoulders drooped, never in your short, difficult life I have seen you so torn. "But I'm coming back, Mum," you whispered. "We're both coming back, my Teddy!"
"Bellatrix is out there." My voice was barely above a whisper, a giant hand seemed to squeeze my throat. I knew I would lose you. And I felt so helpless.
"I'll be careful," you said, but could not look me in the eye while gazing down on the little head of your child, whose hair gleamed in a gentle pink. He had fallen asleep while drinking, and long moments of parting followed, in which I was forced to watch helplessly how you could not tear yourself away. But you did not shed a single tear.
And time was flying. The battle had begun long since, in each minute a man might have breathed his last. Maybe Remus. The man who had left you alone when it was you being in trouble. The man of whom I am still wondering if he ever deserved your love.
"Nymphadora," I tried again after you had pressed your milky-scented baby into my arms. "It's madness. Bellatrix is –"
"Mum! Stop it!" Your voice was brittle, but your eyes were still bright and shining in a belligerent blue. And then I realized that I was not allowed to stop you. For several times, I would have had the opportunity to make you immobile by a spell, to keep you here until the fight was finished. Perhaps you would have thanked me – perhaps you would have hated me for the rest of our lives.
What sense would it have made after all to give you the roots and love you needed as a child, when I would now break your wings? Since you had to fly, my daughter, fly for him. Although it would be the last thing you would do in your life. Deep down, I knew it was your destiny. With a fight your life began, with a fight it would end.
"Well, Nymphadora," I said in a tear-choked voice. "Go, with my blessing. May Merlin protect you. May He protect us all." We hugged us goodbye, but you tore yourself away quickly. Otherwise, I felt, you had probably changed your mind. Once again the warm skin and the smell of your child who rested peacefully between us in my arm, and you would have stayed with us. With him.
"I'll be back, Mum," were your last words.
"Of course," I whispered to you while you went through the door without looking back. And went out of our lives. My tears you have not seen anymore.
And now I have no more. My eyes remain dry while the sun touches the horizon, sinking below and covering the fine clouds above with a flaming red. You would have liked that view, Nymphadora. Although few knew it, you were at least as romantic as me.
But now you are lying in your cold grave in which we lowered you two days ago, and never can you see the light of heaven again. Or are you already somewhere, you and your lover, along with all the others who had to give away their lives? Can you look, together with your father, down on us?
Look over my shoulder when I hold Teddy on my arm and once again don't know how to calm him down? Supposed to read all the countless small signs that only you understood?
He is missing you, his mother. I miss you, my child. One night was far too little to say goodbye to you. Why you, Nymphadora? were my only thoughts, in the hours that I spent blinded by tears beside your lifeless body.
And they are still controlling me. Did you really walk out on your child only for a man? Or because you were born for fighting, as I always suspected? Your whole life was a struggle, a path full of rocks and boulders. Yet you have kept your good heart, you fulfilled your dreams; the education as an Auror, the love for Remus Lupin, the birth of your son, which was far from easy.
Maybe I will tell this to your son. He will be proud to have had such a brave mother. That it was a farewell for good, he could of course not understand. He probably thought you were just asleep and would fetch him from his crib when he gets hungry next time. Or did he know? Children sometimes see more than adults; maybe he can feel the souls of his parents when they watch over him …
A knock at the door makes me start. A visitor at this hour? And who could it be?
My heart beats wildly while I go to the door and peek through the spyhole. And what I see takes my breath away. It's Narcissa. Your aunt.
With shaking fingers, I remove first the door-locks, then the magical spell. The fear of Voldemort and his followers still goes deep, probably I won't be able to do without all those safety catches.
"Hello, Andromeda. May I come in?" she greets me after I opened the door for her without saying a word. She is still beautiful, even though the war has left its mark also on her. Until three years ago we had met in secret, then it seemed to become too dangerous to both of us.
"I'm so sorry," she murmurs into my hair while we are hugging. "This loss – when I imagine it would have been Draco –"
"She wanted to fight," I say huskily. "Draco, however …"
"He never wanted," Narcissa said softly. "Just as Lucius and I. We have had such a good fortune. Nevertheless, the two of them now have to answer for what they have done under the Lord. – It was the reason why I did not come to the funeral," she adds. "We have gone underground for a few days. We wanted to be together at least once, after all this time …"
"I understand you quite well," I say as the tears are crawling up bitterly, making my throat tight. "Want to see my grandson, Narcissa?"
"He is beautiful," she whispers, as we are standing at the crib of your son. He sleeps, as always, on the back, the little fists clenched beside his head. "I do not understand how she could leave him alone. If it only hadn't been for Bella at least – she had it in for Nymphadora …"
For a moment, her voice falters, my sister who is usually so self-controlled is visibly struggling to maintain her composure. "Did you know that Molly Weasley dealt her the deathblow?" she says. "They say she fought for Ginny like a lioness …"
I cover my face with my hands. "And I … simply let you go," I just manage to utter before I burst out crying. Merlin, why didn't I made sure that Teddy at least keeps his mother?
Narcissa takes me into her arms. "You had to let her go," she says emphatically. "It was her decision."
And while I cry on her chest all the tears which I thought were long since dried up, I intend to tell her about you, as soon as I have regained my voice.
That you have been a lioness, too. That you risked your life for your husband and contributed your part to free our country from this terrible tyrant. Since finally I understand – it has always been your calling. To ensure that your descendants may grow up without the fear that has already become second nature to us.
And I'm sure that also Teddy has understood in his little heart of hearts – for he is your son, Nymphadora. The son of a fighter.
~~~oooOoOoOooo~~~
The End