This is short one shot. They say the best writing comes from writing one's own experience. So yep, this story is a condensed version of the worst boyfriend I ever had. Abuse is not always black and white, and if you're with anyone that goes out of their way to damage your self worth, don't stay. Anyways, rated M for a reason.

M Rating: Explicit Sexual Content, Language.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

...

From the moment I saw him, I knew he was trouble. It was something in the way he looked at me, never mind that the pretty strawberry blond was standing right beside him. The moment I saw his girlfriend I also realized she was high-maintenance, petty, and vapid little twit. But they definitely looked good together. The typical cliched, super hot, bad boy with the bitchy, tanned, perfectly manicured blonde girl. It was sickening to be honest.

You see, I'm a bitch. This is something I know, and admit easily. He had a charm to him that easily drew everyone in the room to him, his eyes were seductive, but there's was something else lurking there, just beneath the surface, something dark, something dangerous. It was exhilarating. It left me breathless and wanting, this powerful desire to claim and own.

His eyes locked with mine, and instantly I knew it was mutual desire. I had never been so turned on in my life. I decided then that I wanted him. Period. Fuck his girlfriend. Fuck my boyfriend. They were both meaningless in the end. And judging by the way his eyes shamelessly scoured my body, I was pretty sure he was thinking along the same lines.

He was.

Months of teasing, flirty and heated stares I was beginning to be impatient. Finally sitting in my car one night, he bitched about Tanya and how they had been fighting. We talked for a while, smoking cigarettes and laughing, and something shifted. His eyes got my glance, and they were dark, him looking at me such desire. Slowly his hand traveled to my leg, caressing me, teasing and toying. His breathing started to get heavy and then ever so slowly he unbuttoned my jeans.

"Have you ever been touched there?" His voice was breathy.

The thrill of what was about to come, sent chills down my spine.

"No," I whisper.

His face twisted into a smirk, and I saw his own desire clearly straining against his jeans as he slowly ran his fingers between my legs, underneath my underwear. I nearly swore. I was embarrassingly damp there, but he only moaned.

"Fuck, Bella. You're so wet," he said closing his eyes.

I didn't come, because shortly Tanya had clocked out and had started walking towards the car. As I climbed in the back, and she got in talking about absolutely nothing, I looked up and saw him watching me with the most intense expression I had ever witnessed in the rear window.

Now that he had a taste, I knew he'd want more. And I was definitely more than willing to provide.

...

After a few weeks, he called me over. He and Tanya had been fighting again, and Jacob, my boyfriend, had been annoying the shit out of me. So I told my dad I was heading over to Jessica's house for the night. She was my person for these things. My dad never met her parents, and they didn't give a flying a fuck about what she did or didn't do. It was kind of sad actually.

When I got there, we watched movies, smoked weed, and drank. It was the night after that I realized smoking and drinking was fucking terrible combination. My body was buzzing, I didn't smoke much so it hit me really hard, and of course, being in such close proximity to him had me nearly groaning and panting.

And he fucking knew it.

"Has that worthless boyfriend of yours fucked you yet," he asked while passing me the bowl.

And no. He most certainly had not. Apparently, Jacob was waiting for some stupid reason. I really just needed to dump him and be done with it.

"I fucking wish he would, it seems he wants to wait for marriage," I sneer before taking a hit and nearly coughing my lungs up. "As if that's ever going to happen."

There was no fucking way in hell I would ever marry Jacob Black.

"Well shit," he said taking a sip of his beer. "That's annoying."

"Yeah, tell me about it. Honestly, I just want to do it and be done with it. It's going to be fucking awkward anyways, and probably hurt to. And he's so touchy, feely, sometimes I just want to cut his hands off." I say with a snort.

Suddenly Edward takes the bowl from my hands, his eyes finding my own and rolls on top of me, his gaze never wavering from mine.

"I can do it," he breathes.

There's so much intensity between us, it's damn near suffocating.

"What about Tanya," I challenge.

"What about Jacob," he replies with a smirk before leaning down, his mouth inches from my own. "I say fuck it," he continues before lightly grazing my lips with his tongue. "Fuck both of them."

He kisses me hard, and it's all hair pulling, tangled limbs, panting, groaning, moaning and pure wanting. My skin is on fire, my panties are soaked and we laugh as he tries to get my jeans off.

His fingers play with my clit, and it's so swollen, because fuck it, we've been playing this game for months, that it actually aches. Apparently girls get 'blue balls' too. Slowly he pushes a finger inside and refrain from actually losing my shit.

His body is everywhere, but it's not enough. I need more.

He then yanks off his jeans and boxers, and I find myself staring at his hard dick. My fingers graze carefully and lightly over the tip noting the liquid oozing from the slit. And fuck, a guys dick may not be the most attractive thing, but just thinking about what he was going to do with it nearly had me flooding the bed in anticipation.

Turns out, I really am a drama queen. Sex fucking hurt. Like really fucking hurt. But everything that happened before he damn near ripped my vagina in half was perfect.

...

When Jacob finally had sex with me, it left me bored and unsatisfied. I made the mistake of going over there on a Thursday night, only to be super annoyed that while he was panting and dripping sweat on me, Damon fucking Salvatore was gracing the TV with all his vampire, sexy, bad boy goodness, and I was missing it.

Hey, I'm a bitch remember?

Well, finally Jacob had a complete psychotic meltdown and had to be hospitalized. And instead of being a good girl-friend, or even just a good human being, I spent that week fucking Edward Cullen's brains out. Because Tanya finally dumped his ass.

And suddenly, I realized that I didn't think sex was boring, it was just boring with Jacob, because, hot damn, Edward was a fucking sex god in bed.

It was pure bliss for a month. I finally dumped Jacob and spent my time at Edward's house, partying and getting drunk and high out of my fucking mind.

Tanya didn't really leave though, she still wanted Edward, just didn't want to date him. And I didn't really care. It's not as if we were together.

Until I did care. I'm not sure when I realized it. Maybe it was after my dad kicked me out. At some point I realized that I fallen in love with Edward but the notion did not make me happy.

Things got messy. We fought, he swore he wasn't sleeping with her, but didn't want her to know we were together, because it would hurt her.

He was a liar.

I knew he was sleeping with her, because I heard them one night in the room next to me. I didn't cry. I just felt sick to my stomach.

God I hated Tanya, hated her petite, tanned and toned body, bleach blond hair, her sexiness, her bitchy confidence. She was so incredibly stupid too. And it's not as if I had low self esteem. I was tall, slender, had more European features. I was pretty, but not in the typical American way. She was petty and dull, I was aggressive and calculating.

Edward and I fit. She was so easily manipulated and I wasn't.

The game started to get old. I was tired of playing. I played and now wanted my prize.

Turns out, Edward was never someone that could be claimed. Not really.

Then Tanya found out she was pregnant. And she didn't know if it was Edward's or Laurent's, the other boy toy she was fucking.

She told me she didn't want the baby, but Edward told her he wanted her to keep it.

He told me later he purposefully tried to get her pregnant so she would stay. That he tried to get me pregnant so I would stay. But Tanya couldn't handle it, the prospect of being a mother and tried to self abort unsuccessfully. When she actually miscarried later, it nearly destroyed her.

I think I must have lost nearly 20 pounds by the time I told him I was tired of shit and moved out. It would be another six months before I finally would call it quits. He had his fun and I was done with him.

There was something valuable that I learned during my time with Edward. When I was sobbing, screaming and getting drunk out of my mind. People do what you let them do. I was getting the kind of love I believed I deserved. But I didn't deserve it, and I deserved better.

And I did get someone better.

The End. (Seriously, don't stay in a bad relationship. Life is too short to be with someone who makes you feel like shit)