Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, or any of the characters in this story.
I know that maybe what I feel is wrong. Maybe the way I feel isn't even reciprocated… but I know that I feel this way. It didn't start out as a kiddie school-crush or anything like that. I'd never even thought about guys in that way, until that night.
It was late, maybe one in the morning, and outside, a storm raged. I was actually planning on going to bed, as soon as I finished the joint I'd lit up. I'd spent all morning trying to fix my car to no avail. Something was busted and I wasn't sure what, but I'd figure it out some other time. Anyway, I'd gotten one, maybe two, hits off my joint when I heard someone knocking at my door. I sighed and put the joint out, heading towards the door.
"Who is it?" I said, trying to peek through the window next to the door. Hey, I might be badass, but it was one in the fucking morning.
The voice that answered me was soft and shaky. "Jay?"
I frowned and opened the door. "Sean? What's-" I stopped short, looking at his face, which was covered in bruises and cuts. "Jesus Christ, Sean."
He looked away from me, down at the ground. I reached out and took his arm, pulling him inside. "Jesus… Sean, what happened?" For the first time, I realized that he was soaking wet. "You must be freezing. I'll get you a change of clothes."
Sean said nothing to me, keeping his eyes on the ground. I gently steered him towards my bedroom, sitting him down on the bed. I handed him a dry hooded sweatshirt, boxers, and pajama pants and sighed. "Sean. Please tell me what happened… how did you get here?"
Sean shook his head and changed into the dry clothes. When he did, I watched out of the corner of my eye and saw bruises all over his stomach and back. His skin was covered in bruised purple, recent yellow, and fresh red. I took his wet clothes and tossed them in the laundry room, hurrying back to him.
"Do… do you want any ice, or something? Tylenol?" I offered, wishing he'd say yes. He simply shook his head.
"Then why don't you lie down?" I suggested to him. He nodded, and I pulled the covers back on my bed. He moved below them and I tucked the blanket around him. I sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Sean… man, you can tell me." He shook his head, and I nodded. "You can tell me. I swear."
He was silent for a moment, then looked up at me and whispered, "They tossed me out. My-my parents tossed me out, Jay. I have nowhere to go. Nowhere." He turned away from me then, and I was sure he was trying to hold back tears, or emotion, or something.
"Sean, please don't… it's gonna be okay, man." Sean's shoulders were trembling, and I reached out and put a hand on one. He cringed and I pulled my hand away. "Sean. If… you need a place to stay, Sean. You can stay here. I won't…"
Sean shook his head and kept his back facing me.
"No, Sean. I won't let them hurt you again, and I want you to stay here. I… I promise, okay?"
Sean turned to face me then, and I don't know what possessed me, but I reached out and touched his hair. He closed his eyes and I wasn't sure whether he was going to sleep, or he was just trying to rest, or whatever. He pulled back the bedcovers and looked up at me, his eyes practically pleading me. I moved myself under the covers and sat up, leaning back against the wall, looking down at Sean. I shifted and he moved himself up, curling himself in my arms.
I held him that whole night, until he fell asleep and got a much-needed rest. Once he was asleep, I looked down at him and felt something in my stomach clench. I leaned down and kissed his forehead.
Yeah, maybe I'm a pussy, or whatever… but that's when I figured out how I felt for Sean. I'd never felt that way about another guy before, but this was different. He wasn't just some guy. He was Sean… I respected him; I let him in my crew. Maybe I gave him a hard time, but that's just how I am. He was a good kid, and he didn't deserve this shit that was happening. And if I could protect him from it, I would, I swear to God.