This is about Nymphadora Tonk's "dark side" and the end of all hope told by
Albus Dumbledore (from Chapt. 2 on).
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JKR and the characters of Dumbledore and Tonks do belong to her, too (though the Tonks in this FF is not really JKR's Tonks)
Hatred
by Loony
"Don't tell me about hatred and it's dangers. I know them well. I have been hating someone since the day of my birth.
Well, at least since I was able to think and I'm not talking about the feeling people call hate when they feel anger, loath or when they long for revenge and want to hurt somebody. That ain't the same.
Real hatred is a stronger feeling, stronger and darker and of course, more dangerous than you can imagine, I think.
I may be wrong in that case, but you don't look like you've ever felt real hatred though I don't look like, too.
But I did feel it and I still do.
Every part of my soul and my body longs to hurt the person I'm hating. To make her suffer more than a human being can bear, to destroy her, to spy on her and discover her secrets, to use those secrets to ruin her even more, to make her wanting to commit suicide but not to let her, to laugh at her when she's undone and broken.
My actings are ruled by hatred, I know it, but I can't change. I tried to stop hating but I am too weak and maybe too cowardly cause the person I'm hating is me.
I hate myself for being what I am.
Maybe it seemed to you that I am a friendly, quiet and happy person. I am not, but that's what it seems to everyone. I created this person and I act like her but it's a lie. I am unable to stand the truth, to show my feelings, to accept myself or to stop hating and that's why I am hating me.
I hate me for hating me, isn't it ridiculous? Don't you think it's funny how stupid I am?
Why aren't you laughing and instead smiling at me in this sad, sorrowfully way?"
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JKR and the characters of Dumbledore and Tonks do belong to her, too (though the Tonks in this FF is not really JKR's Tonks)
Hatred
by Loony
"Don't tell me about hatred and it's dangers. I know them well. I have been hating someone since the day of my birth.
Well, at least since I was able to think and I'm not talking about the feeling people call hate when they feel anger, loath or when they long for revenge and want to hurt somebody. That ain't the same.
Real hatred is a stronger feeling, stronger and darker and of course, more dangerous than you can imagine, I think.
I may be wrong in that case, but you don't look like you've ever felt real hatred though I don't look like, too.
But I did feel it and I still do.
Every part of my soul and my body longs to hurt the person I'm hating. To make her suffer more than a human being can bear, to destroy her, to spy on her and discover her secrets, to use those secrets to ruin her even more, to make her wanting to commit suicide but not to let her, to laugh at her when she's undone and broken.
My actings are ruled by hatred, I know it, but I can't change. I tried to stop hating but I am too weak and maybe too cowardly cause the person I'm hating is me.
I hate myself for being what I am.
Maybe it seemed to you that I am a friendly, quiet and happy person. I am not, but that's what it seems to everyone. I created this person and I act like her but it's a lie. I am unable to stand the truth, to show my feelings, to accept myself or to stop hating and that's why I am hating me.
I hate me for hating me, isn't it ridiculous? Don't you think it's funny how stupid I am?
Why aren't you laughing and instead smiling at me in this sad, sorrowfully way?"