a/n: I'm a bit rusty on my Sailor Moon knowledge, let alone Sailor V. But recently, I've been trying to get back on the SM bandwagon, so bear with me. This fic(let?) was mostly inspired by Codename: Sailor V, and how I still think it's inspiring how Minako is so doomed, but can still be so happy.

Sometimes, Minako finds herself alone.

Most of the time these sometimes happen when she's tired. Smiling, laughing, being happy; those things aren't easy to fake—day in, day out.

But she tries.

And it ends up nowhere.

This time, Minako finds herself alone, on the rooftop of their school.

Minako guesses this is what it's like to feel insecure. Sometimes, Usagi talks about her weight. And Makoto talks about her height too, occasionally. For a group of evil-fighting soldiers, they are still teenaged girls. They aren't immune to bouts of insecurity, Minako surmises.

But Minako never understood what Usagi meant, or what Makoto meant. But now, lying on the school rooftop floor—of all places—looking at the idle clouds passing by; now she understands.

It's more painful that she thought.

It's ironic, and when Minako thinks about it, she can't help but laugh a little. She is the de facto leader of a team of magical girl superheroes—how can she be insecure?

But then again.

Minako traces the clouds with her fingers. Her uniform is probably stained by the dirt now, but she really couldn't care less. The sky is fascinating today.

A cloud in the shape of a deformed pair of rabbit ears passes by.

Usagi is happy. Happier than she has ever been since they first met a few years ago. Minako thinks, isn't that a good thing? because happiness (and peace) have been their sole mission all along, right?

Happiness for their princess.

Minako hates it when she starts thinking like this. Their princess—the one they were born to protect—happy? It's a great thing, really. So why is she so unsatisfied?

She knows the answer, but can't admit it.

But every time she sees Usagi in Mamoru's arms, the knife digs in a little deeper.

The soldier of love and beauty—the chosen one under the planet of love's protection—the princess of Venus—

Minako shakes her head violently. Her hair is dirtied by the floor.

All these titles, and not a single of them even true. Love? What is that? How come the one with the literal power of love, not be able to experience any love?

His words come to mind—that damned fortune.

Sometimes Minako wishes she could blame it all on Ace. It's much easier that way, anyway, because he made her feel this—this love thing—and ripped it away from her, all at once.

Unfair.

But Ace isn't here anymore. Gone and dead. Putting the blame on him wouldn't change her fate. After all, it's bad to talk bad about the dead, right? Setsuna would skin her alive if she (ever) found out.

But if he were alive—somehow, if he weren't dead and evil—Minako would punch him, kick him, scream in his face and tell him how it is so unfair—

And he'd kiss her, because he's that kind of person.

Minako sighs, as a cloud rushes by. Dwelling on the past never healed any wounds, especially any of her wounds. There will forever be an Ace-shaped hole in her heart, but there will never be a cure.

"Minako-chan?" there's yellow hair covering the clouds. Minako stares at Usagi, who's staring back at Minako, and there's a huge grin on her face again.

"Ah, Usagi-chan! What are you doing here?" Minako asks, sitting upright.

Usagi tilts her head. "Ah, Ami-chan told me you'd be here. Break time is over, let's go back, hmm?"

Minako gets to her feet and dusts off her skirt. Smiling, she replies, "Let's go!"

It's ironic, Minako thinks as she runs down the stairs with Usagi. The soldier of love and beauty, doomed to hopeless love? Maybe Ace was right, she should be happy about it.

After all, her princess's happiness is better than love, right?

(Maybe just one more day—one more day of smiling, and then she can go back; go back to thinking and being sad and not being the Minako everyone knows. Maybe.)