Title: Quidditch is a brutal game.
Author: That's My Pen Name.
Rating: R, for the use of the F bomb.
Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana.
Length: 2554
Spoilers: This is AU. I mean, seriously. They're flying in brooms. AU, people! So no spoilers.
Summary: "And once again, I believe some of us are having trouble finding our place in the pitch."
Disclaimer: Everything you recognize is not mine.
Author's note: Still inspired by inthehat's discussion of Hogwarts and Glee. Now it's a crossover. Yeah. I think I'm on a roll with those things. This might be the first part of a series, but I'm not sure about that yet. Again, not beta-d and English is not my first language, so forgive the mistakes.
When the schedule of the Quidditch season is posted in the Slytherin common room, Quinn Fabray sighs heavily, because really, she didn't want to face Hufflepuff that early in the season, let alone as their first game. It's not that she fears that they have a chance at winning; Merlin knows that Slytherin has the best team and it's been that way for quite some time now. So really, it's not about the game results, but the game itself. She knows her team very well and matches against Hufflepuff never end well. And she would like to say they never wend well for the opposing team, but she can't. Truth is, most of the time one of her own ends up in the Hospital Wing and it's always because someone from her team managed to do some damage. She could point fingers, but for her sake – both physical and psychological – she'd rather not to.
That doesn't change the fact, though, that she thinks a game with Hufflepuff first thing in the season is just plain stupid. Really, everybody should know that by now. It's stupid, like, completely, and it always gets her team in a bad atmosphere and she has to work in double to make them return to their normal, we-can-beat-everyone, self. She really wants to march right up to the director – that wacko lady who seems to think it's okay to treat students as if they're four and not eleven, or even seventeen – but she doesn't because the last time she did that, the woman offered her a pumpkin candy that Quinn thought it looked odd, but ate anyway, and ended up grinning at everyone who passed her in the hallways, and seriously, there was only one person who deserved Quinn's grin, and she would be dammed if she'd let that woman try ruin her reputation. Again.
So she just takes a deep breath and hopes for the best.
Even if it's completely futile in this case.
---
"Welcome, my fellow Hogwarts students," Quinn hears through the cheers of the crowd and the butterflies immediately start to go crazy in her belly, and she knows that it has nothing to do with the game. Merlin, when did Slytherins get that cheesy? Maybe Santana is right, it's sickening. "to the very first game of the season, Slytherin versus Hufflepuff! While I do believe that we all know how this game is going to end, I sincerely hope that those rumors I heard about you betting on who Santana Lopez would try to kill today are not true, because--" Quinn sighs when the voice goes quiet, but it comes back a few seconds later, and she can't help the smile that takes over her lips. "But of course I'm not saying my fellow students did that, Professor Roberts! It'd be outrageous! I can't even fathom the idea of one of us doing that."
It's silent again, and Quinn can picture the face of Mr. Roberts, Head of Gryffindor, trying to control Rachel's comment on anything and everything, and she just knows it's pointless because if there's one thing her girlfriend likes to do, is talking. And she does it well. Among other things, of course, that Quinn doesn't want to think about right now, because if she does, she knows Quidditch will be the last thing on her mind, and she really has to focus.
She can see her team getting antsy, and Santana is already rolling her eyes at Rachel's voice, and she just knows that this is not going to be a good game. Well, it will, because they're going to win, but she really hopes that she's not the one lying on the ground unconscious when everything is over, because honestly, she's had enough of that already. And besides, Rachel will cut a bitch if Santana ever sends her to the Hospital Wing again and that if there's anything she can do to prevent that, then you better be damn sure she's gonna do it.
"Go hit Puck, or something," she tells Santana, as the latina began to clench and unclench her hands in fists. Really, they'd been best friends for years – even before they got to Hogwarts and were placed in the same house – and Quinn knew the other girl like the back of her head. Besides, it doesn't take a genius to realize that trying to reason with Santana is completely pointless. Especially right before a game against Hufflepuff. "Seriously. Go hit him now. It's better than doing it in the pitch."
"I swear, if one of them so much as brushes against her..." Santana whispers, her voice cold and threatening, her gaze set on Puck, who is currently focused on polishing his brand new Lightningbolt.
"I really don't want to hear it again, Lopez." Quinn says, and she's not the best friend anymore, but their captain, and Santana fully acknowledges that by pursing her lips shut and nodding her head. "Just try not to kill anyone today. Focus on the bludgers. And do not aim them at our team."
"I make no promises." is all Santana says, shrugging her shoulders and throwing her legs over her broom as Rachel's voice echoes outside, calling out their names.
"And playing for Slytherin we have Lopez, Puckerman, Karofsky, Rutherford, Chang, Winters, and of course, my beautiful and talent-- uh, sorry Professor Roberts, Fabray as Captain!" they fly around the bleachers, the crowd cheering excitedly. When they stop in the middle of the pitch, side by side in the air, Quinn hears Rachel calling out the other team. "And, playing for Hufflepuff... Cohen-Chang, Johnson, Morgan, Brittany, Darrieux, Schroeder and Cavendish as Captain!"
As the seven yellow blurs take over the sky, Quinn finds herself looking towards Rachel, where her girlfriend promptly awards her with one of her biggest grins and she can't help but mirroring the action. It's stupid, really, because she's a Slytherin, and Rachel is, Merlin, a Gryffindor, and they shouldn't work out at all, but somehow they do, and it's like they're Hogwarts' power couple and people don't even care about it anymore. Granted, she was scared her father would threaten to kill her – and Rachel – when he found out about the entire thing, but he had been surprisingly okay with the relationship. She thought that Rachel being from an influential family beat the fact that she was a Gryffindor and all that. Or maybe it was just because they were past the dark times and it didn't matter anymore. But still, she knew how the Wizard Society worked, and it just kind of surprised her that she could have it all without people wanting to Avada Kedavra her here and there.
It wasn't the easiest relationship; of course it wasn't. But they somehow made it work.
She thought, though, it wasn't as weird as Brittany's and Santana's relationship.
The blonde chaser had finished rounding the pitch, and now had stopped right by Santana's side, and dropped a small kiss to the latina's cheek before happily sitting back in her broom, obviously waiting for the game to start. Quinn rolled her eyes.
"And once again, I believe some of us are having trouble finding our place in the pitch." Rachel's voice echoed, and Quinn smirked, before sending a glare towards Santana, making the girl turn to Brittany and whisper something in her ear, which promptly made her fly to the opposite side, next to her own team. "Seems like it's solved! The golden snitch is free, the bludgers are ready to go, Madam Riley is ready to throw the quaffle-- and it begins!"
And as soon as the quaffle is thrown, they all seem to forget everything, only focusing on the game and in Rachel's voice, narrating every move. For the first five minutes it looks like any other game Slytherin plays; they're focused, they work well together, and they're good. It's clear when Puck scores three times in a row that Hufflepuff has no chance against them. And really, who thought they had? Brittany – not surprisingly, because even though she's not very bright, she is damn good at Quidditch – grabs the quaffle after Puck's last throw and flies by the place where Quinn is standing, looking for the Golden Snitch, in such a speed that it almost knocks the seeker off her broom.
"And Brittany seems to be approaching the Slytherin goal posts, but wait, not if Karofsky has anything to say about it!" Quinn hears that, and she immediately wants to smack her beater over the head, because really, stupid much? "Lopez seems none too pleased about this, however, and honestly, if Karofsky knows what's good for himself, he will not aim that bludger at Brittany-- and clearly he is as stupid as he looks, fellow students."
She hears Mr. Roberts admonish Rachel again, but brunette just argues with him, saying that Karofsky really is stupid if he thinks that he can throw a bludger at Brittany and get away with it, and honestly, Quinn knows just as well as anybody else on that pitch that such thing is not possible. And honestly, she really did want to finish this game without any, uh, fatalities.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" And it's too late. She hears Santana snap at Karofsky just as his wooden club hits the iron ball and goes straight towards the blonde chaser from Hufflepuff and from then on it's like she can see everything happening in slow motion. The Golden Snitch brushes by her ear, but she doesn't even want to know about that anymore. Somebody just unleashed a monster, and she has damage control to do.
"Uh, oh, I think I'm going to re-think my decision of not taking one of those bets." Rachel says, clearly not focused on the game anymore, much like the rest of the students on the bleachers. They all know what's about to happen. "1,2, 3..."
"Are you out of your fucking mind, Karofsky?" Santana yells, her bat connecting to one of the bludgers, sending them towards her teammate, and all Quinn can think about is trying to find a way to deflect the bludger that it's coming towards Brittany in an alarming speed, because really, she doesn't want to end up in the Hospital Wing again, but if any of them let Brittany gets hurt, then Santana will personally make sure they each need to grow a bone – literally – by the end of the day.
"It's a game, Lopez!" the other beater screams, swiftly deflecting the bludger the latina sent his way, and Quinn watches as Puck grabs his bat, and throws it a her, just in time that she can catch the iron ball that was almost connecting to Brittany's face. "She chose to play!"
Phew. That one was close.
"I try, and I try to figure out how such stupidity can possibly exist, but no matter how hard I think – and trust me, friends, I do think a lot – I can't possibly understand how someone can be so stupid as to try and throw a bludger at Santana Lopez' girlfriend." Rachel says, and by now Mr. Roberts has given up trying to reign her in – and honestly, Quinn doesn't know why he even bothered to try in the first place. "One would think that he would have learned something from his teammates at the last couple of ears, but apparently not. I do believe this is not going to end well."
"It doesn't mean you have to hurt her, you idiot!" Santana bellows, and the crowd is so focused in the whole exchange that Brittany easily scores the first ten points to Hufflepuff. "You're lucky I don't have my wand here-- you know what? I don't need my wand!"
And then it's chaos.
"Lopez aims another bludger at Karofsky, and the Hufflepuffs seem too afraid to even try and continue the game. Honestly, if they know what is good, they will stay as still as possible." Quinn sighs as Rachel starts to narrate the fight and not the game, and just shakes her head, taking a deep breath. She would step in the middle of it, but honestly, she likes her face way too much to do that. "The bludger is followed by Lopez' bat, and Karofsky obviously doesn't have the coordination to deflect them both, and now they're taking the fight to the ground. I don't know why those stupid rules about not hurting a teammate even exist. Look at that! And Lopez' fist seemed to be connecting with Karofsky jaws and Madam Riley doesn't really know how to approach the fight, and oh, look, enjoy while you can, my friends, it's about to end."
"San? What are you doing?" Brittany steps in, and Quinn sighs in relief, because really, she already got her ten galleons and she really just wants this fight to stop so they can go back to the game and she can catch that damn snitch. "Oh, not again."
"He threw a bludger at you!" Santana tries to justify, but Brittany only nods and moves to take Santana off the almost unconscious boy on the floor. "He asked for it."
"I know." Brittany says, placing a small kiss on Santana's lips, which makes Santana's face immediately change, all the anger gone. "I'm okay, Quinn sent it away."
"She better," Santana huffs, but she sends an thankful smile towards Quinn anyway, and the blonde just shrugs. Really, she's used to it by now. "Or the next one unconscious on the floor would have been her."
"But then Rachel would kill you." Quinn watches as Brittany's eyebrows furrow in a mix of confusion and sadness. "I wouldn't like that."
"Yeah, well, it's not like Santana could take me anyway." Quinn smirks, and gets on her broom again, before turning to the refree. "I believe we can start again."
She doesn't even care that Karofsky is lying on the floor, clenching in pain. Really, he asked for it, anyway.
"Okay, looks like we're ready to continue." Rachel announces, as Quinn flies past her, a small smile playing on her lips. "Let's hope that what happened to Karofsky serves as a lesson. Well, at least for this game, anyway."
Slytherin wins, of course. In the end, Karofsky only has to spend three days in the Hospital Wing, and Quinn thinks that Santana might be losing her way, because had it been any other time, the guy would have spent one week week, at the very least. She knew that first-hand. But it's not so bad. Sure, she might start considering another beater, but as they walk out of the changing rooms, Brittany practically glued to Santana, and Rachel waiting for her, a mischievous smirk on her face, she knows even though it was a stressful day, it's going to be one hell of a great night.
She's pretty sure Quidditch might be one of her favorite things ever. Especially when they win.