I cannot say, and I will not say
That he is dead. He is
just away!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
HE IS NOT DEAD WITHIN MY HEART
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Chi-Chi blew the collected dust away from the top of a ragged, old box she had stored long ago... A faded label was plastered on the front side... In black permanent marker was written 'Memories'. Memories...
she wistfully breathed a sweet sigh... So many-- memories... It was time to pack up more wondrous objects that were now too painful to even look at... It was time to add them to the beloved place of security...
She stepped gingerly out of the storage room... Taking one last look at its belongings, she flipped off the light switch. I will be back here soon, she thought, I'll need to unpack some of my Gohan's old clothes and baby furniture… which reminds me—I need to get back to that little outfit I was making… so many things to do -- and all without my dear, dear Goku around…
She
quickly wiped her eyes free of the new tears that had sprung forth… Those tears… always wanting to make a home in my eyes! she thought. My Goku…
My dear, dear Goku… She walked with a heavy step, and carried the old box to the room she and Goku had shared. She dropped the rather large box on the bed and flopped lazily down beside it.
The window was open, letting a faint, fresh breeze fill the room… Goku always loved it that way… She fixated her gaze on the sakura blossom petals that had fluttered their way into the realm… Several small, sweet piles had gathered below and in front of the window… It was the afternoon, and the light was warm as it shone through the open window through a filtered canopy of hickory and sakura trees. Chi-Chi squeezed her eyes shut as another memory threatened to engulf her.
Hey! Look! Petals!
Oh, no! Oh, Goku… they make such a
mess!
Aw… they do no-oot…watch this!
What—are—you---Goku?
See? Look—see how pretty they look in your nice black hair?
Chi-Chi opened her eyes abruptly to find that she had a strong hold on the bun of her hair… Slowly, she pulled out the ties that bound her shiny black mass to her head…
Let it fall…
In a tranced, perhaps, delirious state, she walked over and stood by the window… She watched with childlike wonder as the plain white curtains billowed out with the breeze… She swooped over, with difficulty due to her condition, and scooped up a handful of sakura blossoms…
How pretty…Why didn't I notice before?… She closed her eyes and sprinkled the pink petals on the top of her
head… Some fell down to the rest of her hair…
Goku! Don't be silly! You goof… You'll get my hair messy…
You are a fairy amazon, Chi-Chi!
A fairy amazon?
Where'd you get that? Haha!
You are a fairy amazon!!
"I am a fairy amazon…" she whispered.
She stood up and gazed out the window at the landscape around. She and Goku had always loved the wilderness… and this place was perfect… Her pale hand came to rest on the swell of her belly. Already, her pregnancy was beginning to show… already…
Gohan-- her precious baby -- was out with Piccolo… How odd, she thought, that I hated Piccolo so much at first… and now I thank Heaven he's
here to help my little Gohan… to help him along the way with the 'manly' stuff
which I cannot teach him… Poor Gohan… having to become a man so early… Again the salty liquid began to gather…
Let it fall…
The streams flowing freely now from her eyes ran slowly down her pale cheeks and dripped onto the collar of her Chinese style dress…
Let it fall, Chi-Chi…
She glanced down at her slightly protruding stomach… In some ways, she believed that her pregnancy was Goku's final gift to her… He had been so affectionate and care-free in his last days… He spent the precious time in comfort and happiness with his family… It only occurred to her later that he may have been aware that his time to die was near… His actions, the legacy he left; he must have sensed it… She sighed… My Goku was wonderful indeed… She then returned to her soft spot on the bed…
"Memories," she read aloud. She withdrew a single pocketknife from a drawer to the side of the bed and used its blade to slice the tape that held the box top together. "Ugh!" The tape sliced rather easily apart and exposed the slides to be opened. Shaky with anticipation, she folded the edges back to view the contents. "Ohhhhh…" She gasped at the sight. On top of the pile was a single framed piece of wood… It was rather thin, that plague; and improper treatment had given it the effect of old age…
"GokU LuVs CHi-Chi," it read in scribbled carving…
Chi-Chi remembered that day in the woods… Goku had carved the phrase into a wide oak tree shortly after they had finished a game of sparring… She had loved it so… It was such a surprise; especially from a man such as Goku… He was a simple man… But then, Chi-Chi was rather simple herself; as simple as women can get I suppose… For days she had talked of how much she loved it… (She thought it would stay in the wilderness as a token of love… Romantic…) Then, much to her dismay, on a bright sunny day, he came home with—the very tree that the message was carved in!
Hiya, Chi-Chi! Look what I got you!! That thing you said you loved!!
And his grin was so bright, and his demeanor so cheerful, that she had
not the heart to be
the least bit angry… She was forced to hide her dismay… Though whether Goku saw through the fake smiles she would never know… They saved money and had the carving cut out and framed… Little did she know how much she'd love it at the moment… for it held memories of Goku's kind, but strange thoughtfulness…
Next, a photo album… Wedding pictures… How happy she was on that day! All giggles and blushes while snuggling in the arms of her dreamboat! A picture of she and Goku with his "Dragon Ball Friends" … What a sight we must have been! A bunch of weirdos! she
mused. Oh! Baby Gohan… her first-born child…How funny
Goku had acted at first!
That—came
from your TUMMY???!
Then, there was the matter of a name… and Goku dutifully complied to the challenge.
A name? he
had wondered aloud. He had at once turned serious, but soon brightened once
again and chirped:
Gohan!
Like your
grandfather, Goku?
…..yes….. like my Grampa….
After thumbing through all the wondrous and timeless contents, she stared at the box marked 'Memories.' She had planned to add more belongings to the pile, but—but now she couldn't bring herself to! How could she put it back in storage? She couldn't! Goku wouldn't want it that way!
A sudden idea struck her… She flurried around gathering sentimental items… Photos, gifts, even Goku's favorite blanket! She placed pictures on tabletops and hung them upon the walls. Everything went on display… As much as it hurt to remember—she had realized that it pained much worse to shut the memory of Goku out…
Chi-Chi decided that she would forever tell the stories of her hero to her children… and they would tell of him to their children… And she would wait patiently to see him again… Above all, she would honor and admire his unselfish decision to save the earth…
She lit candles and dimmed the lights, for it was now late evening. Everything was ready… the nice little redecoration and dinner. She looked out the window that Goku had always loved to climb through only to see Gohan making his way toward the house… Piccolo was gliding gracefully in the other direction… After a little pondering, Chi-Chi made a decision. "Gohan!" she called. "Invite Mr. Piccolo to dinner!" His eyes lit up with happiness, the same way Goku's used to when he was delighted. "Really?! Wow! Mom thanks!" He scampered off to inform Piccolo.
You are not really dead…
I Love You, Goku…
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Away"
I cannot
say, and I will not say
That he
is dead. He is just away!
With a
cheery smile and a wave of a hand,
He has
wandered into an unknown land.
And left
us dreaming how very fair
It needs
must be, sine he lingers there.
And
you~oh you, who the wildest yearn
For the
old time step and the glad return~
Think of
him faring on, as dear
In the
love of There as the love of Here;
And
loyal still, as he gave the blows
Of his
warrior strength to his country's foes~
Mild and
gentle, as he was brave,
When the
sweetest love of his life he gave
To
simple things; where the violets grew
Pure as
the eyes they were likened to,
The
touches of his hands have strayed
As
reverently as his lips have prayed;
When the
little brown thrush that harshly chirred
Was dear
to him as the mocking-bird;
And he
pitied as much as a man in pain
A
writhing honey bee wet with rain.
Think of
him still as the same, I say:
He is
not dead~he is just~ away!
-James Whitcomb Riley
Author- The poem is just beautiful in my opinion! I stumbled upon it while reading a poetry book, and I thought it applied to Goku very much. What to you think?
I own nothing, but my opinion, don't sue me.