Author's Babble:
Uh. It's 11:52 at night. I have a snow day tomorrow and am bored out of my skull. Since I'm OBSESSED with Yumichika lately, so I guess I'll throw out some drabble. I have no idea why I'm posting it, really it's just practice.
Enjoy?
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Oh, damn, I'm beautiful.
How many people can honestly say they could spend hours standing in front of a mirror is pure mental ecstasy? You know, without pinching any fat or tugging at any skin. All of me is stunning, right down to the strands of hair I have growing as we speak.
But I know that you didn't come to hear me tell you the obvious, right?
You're here about Ikkaku.
Listen, you're a fan of romance aren't you? One of those "I want the world to fall in love!" sort. How precious. Complications in age, race, health and such never crossed your mind did they?
Maybe they did, and you pushed it out of your mind. You know, stupidity makes one so ugly.
Ugly….hm….
Yes, even beauty craves what it doesn't have. Even if that is hideous. People tell me beauty is a perception, we're all entitled to our own opinions on what we find attractive and blah…
But, there are concepts in this world that are universal. Such as, the color of the sky. It's blue. You don't look at it and think: "Because of my thought process, it's green." Even if you are color blind, it's blue. Your eyes are screwed up, not the sky. Just like the color of the heavens, my beauty is understood by all. You breathe air, you're attracted to me. Simple as that.
I have no idea why…but…there is someone who I deem as gorgeous as me.
Someone as beautiful?
Don't get so flustered.
I'm a strong person. My sword is a match. My ambition is a challenge. Basically, you don't want to mess with me.
But he is so much stronger.
We both don't give up. But in different ways. Once the battle become a disgust or dull, I'll go away. Why bother? No merit in winning an repulsive battle, and usually that's what I get. Nasty faced fights. The ones where it's so palpable upon looking who will win.
But he…he gets the beautiful battles. And he doesn't quit. I swear, I'm going to witness him get his last drop of blood smashed out of him. Maybe his breath sucked from his body. As much as I know I am, I dread that day. That'll be the day my other splendor leaves.
Yes. I am in love with Ikkaku.
As if you didn't know. A man, no…a PERSON like me in meant for a man like that. Just one so manly. He balances my personality out, allowing my outlet in any stress I have. Wonderful gaze to see, sometimes I take an extra long stare when he passes me at work. Every bit about him just screams MAN…like the others. Abarai and…Shuhei…
You know what makes me angry about the fact he is such a man? He doesn't find me beautiful. Girls…HA. I know so many with bouncy fronts, and long hair. So what. The deepest curves in the world can't compare to my shine. Look at me! I radiate. Sure, he might enjoy my company and he does c onfide in me when times get hard. Not really, spill his emotions. Ikkaku has his way of expressing himself. Even if it is just a grunt.
I don't want to be a friend. I want to be the light HE looks at. The one everyone else looks at. What I want…he needs to brag about me. I'm the one who dates Yumichika. Or: Yumichika loves me.
Everyone will be jealous…but we won't care. He'd think I'm lovely.
Oh my…I'm one selfish bastard aren't I? Try putting yourself in my shoes though. If you were part of the manliest squad in your army…how could you love it's second highest ranked man…when you're of the same gender…
I just…I just want…
Forget this.
Forgot all of this. We are two who do NOT give up.
Damn. I'm going back to work.
A/B:
Thanks for reading. :D