Sex Talk w/ Fred Weasley and Mandy
A/n. Please don't ask what came over me when I got the idea for this fic. I was half asleep when I started this thing.
Summary- The title pretty much says it all. Sex talk, talk about sex. The hosts are Fred Weasley and the authoress, me, Mandy. R/r this please I'm only asking once.
Mandy: Welcome to Sex Talk. Come with me and my co-host the oh, so fine Fred Weasley, as we tell you about our sexual adventures.
Fred: Yes that's right. You asked "A whole show about the sexual adventures of a Gryffindor House member and an authoress?" Well we say YES! It's not *all* about us. You may call in over the phone when the time comes, and we have some guests.
Mandy: Fred is right everyone. But before we bring out our first guest, Fred, I must know what your first adventure was.
Fred: Well, it was in my 5th year and in the trophy room. I'm not telling who it was though.
Mandy: Okay. So was it interesting?
Fred: Well sex is sex, Mandy. The floor was hard but when you have ruff sex, like when you do it with me, the floor is even harder. When just sit on the floor it hurts. But when you get banged around you tend to hurt your back and knees.
Mandy: Okay. Too much info!
Fred: Alright, sexy let's hear yours.
Mandy: I don't go to Hogwarts. My first time was in a movie theater.
Fred: A movie house? How did you do that?
Mandy: It was a late night movie like at midnight. There weren't a lot of people there. We did it on the chair *and* on the floor.
Fred: Wow. I bet that was the best thing he ever got.
Mandy: Yeah. For him but not for *me*, He didn't know what he was doing. My back still hurts and it was 2 years ago.
Fred: 'Kay. Let's bring out our first guest Slytherin House member Draco Malfoy.
(Slytherin member cheering.)
Draco: Thank you.
Mandy: Thank you Malfoy for coming here tonight.
Draco: No problem.
Fred: As you know Malfoy is the caption and Keeper for the Slytherin House team.
Draco: Yes I am.
Mandy: 'Kay, Draco what was your weirdest place you've ever had sex at?
Draco: Well, in the Herboligy classroom. And in Hagrid's Hut. That big "tart's" Hut was probably the oddest place
Fred: Can you tell us why?
Draco: Well, think about it. Hagrid's hut? That tart almost caught us. Thank goodness for Potter's invisibility cloak. Me and my partner hid underneath it while Hagrid came in for a while but he left soon thank goodness.
Mandy: Can you tell us who it was?
Draco: No I can't.
Fred: That's fair. Alright Malfoy, thank you for coming.
Draco: No problem. I'll go this way.
Draco walked off the side of the steps.
Mandy: Our next guest is the other authoress my best friend, Ice!
(All the guys except Fred go wild)
Fred: Welcome to Sex Talk, Ice.
Ice: Thanks Fred.
Mandy: Before we ask Ice what her favorite sexual adventure was, we need to know what the oddest position to have sex in. Like anyway and place. Fred, you go first.
Fred: I think that the oddest way is anyway. No matter how you do it, it's odd. But the oddest place is probably standing up.
Mandy: Okay. Ice?
Ice: Yah? Oh, what Fred said but in water.
Fred: (laughing) Mandy, how 'bout you?
Mandy: Well the oddest position for me, but I haven't done it, is doggy style. The oddest place is on a TV.
Fred: A TV? (Laughing)
Announcer: We are experiencing technical difficulties. We have to end the show. We are sorry. Tune in next time for more.
A/n, hehehehe. I don't like sex on TV. Why you say? I tried it once and fell off. Hahaha!
A/n. Please don't ask what came over me when I got the idea for this fic. I was half asleep when I started this thing.
Summary- The title pretty much says it all. Sex talk, talk about sex. The hosts are Fred Weasley and the authoress, me, Mandy. R/r this please I'm only asking once.
Mandy: Welcome to Sex Talk. Come with me and my co-host the oh, so fine Fred Weasley, as we tell you about our sexual adventures.
Fred: Yes that's right. You asked "A whole show about the sexual adventures of a Gryffindor House member and an authoress?" Well we say YES! It's not *all* about us. You may call in over the phone when the time comes, and we have some guests.
Mandy: Fred is right everyone. But before we bring out our first guest, Fred, I must know what your first adventure was.
Fred: Well, it was in my 5th year and in the trophy room. I'm not telling who it was though.
Mandy: Okay. So was it interesting?
Fred: Well sex is sex, Mandy. The floor was hard but when you have ruff sex, like when you do it with me, the floor is even harder. When just sit on the floor it hurts. But when you get banged around you tend to hurt your back and knees.
Mandy: Okay. Too much info!
Fred: Alright, sexy let's hear yours.
Mandy: I don't go to Hogwarts. My first time was in a movie theater.
Fred: A movie house? How did you do that?
Mandy: It was a late night movie like at midnight. There weren't a lot of people there. We did it on the chair *and* on the floor.
Fred: Wow. I bet that was the best thing he ever got.
Mandy: Yeah. For him but not for *me*, He didn't know what he was doing. My back still hurts and it was 2 years ago.
Fred: 'Kay. Let's bring out our first guest Slytherin House member Draco Malfoy.
(Slytherin member cheering.)
Draco: Thank you.
Mandy: Thank you Malfoy for coming here tonight.
Draco: No problem.
Fred: As you know Malfoy is the caption and Keeper for the Slytherin House team.
Draco: Yes I am.
Mandy: 'Kay, Draco what was your weirdest place you've ever had sex at?
Draco: Well, in the Herboligy classroom. And in Hagrid's Hut. That big "tart's" Hut was probably the oddest place
Fred: Can you tell us why?
Draco: Well, think about it. Hagrid's hut? That tart almost caught us. Thank goodness for Potter's invisibility cloak. Me and my partner hid underneath it while Hagrid came in for a while but he left soon thank goodness.
Mandy: Can you tell us who it was?
Draco: No I can't.
Fred: That's fair. Alright Malfoy, thank you for coming.
Draco: No problem. I'll go this way.
Draco walked off the side of the steps.
Mandy: Our next guest is the other authoress my best friend, Ice!
(All the guys except Fred go wild)
Fred: Welcome to Sex Talk, Ice.
Ice: Thanks Fred.
Mandy: Before we ask Ice what her favorite sexual adventure was, we need to know what the oddest position to have sex in. Like anyway and place. Fred, you go first.
Fred: I think that the oddest way is anyway. No matter how you do it, it's odd. But the oddest place is probably standing up.
Mandy: Okay. Ice?
Ice: Yah? Oh, what Fred said but in water.
Fred: (laughing) Mandy, how 'bout you?
Mandy: Well the oddest position for me, but I haven't done it, is doggy style. The oddest place is on a TV.
Fred: A TV? (Laughing)
Announcer: We are experiencing technical difficulties. We have to end the show. We are sorry. Tune in next time for more.
A/n, hehehehe. I don't like sex on TV. Why you say? I tried it once and fell off. Hahaha!