Title: Baby Steps
Pairings: RikuxSora
Disclaimer/Warning: I do not own the characters from Kingdom Hearts. All credit for the Kingdom Hearts characters go to Square Enix & Disney.
Rating: T
A/N: Baby Steps is a follow-up/sequel to the drabble Inside And Out, which can be found on my profile.
Warning: Contains dark themes for some.
A vision of a hand grasping out to me. A memory of past pain and former times of longing. The burning sensation of my oxygen exhausting its full capacity and the inability to inhale any greater resources to keep me from wheezing for air. I needed to find him. Sora. I was stuck in this room, I remember. I had always had the immense displeasure of seeing an image so similar to myself each day that I laid awake straight into my aching insomnia. I let him go. I had to be alone. The guilt of abandoning a best friend settled into my uneasy stomach before I had arrived in that space that seemed to lack of light. It almost mocks your existence, somehow. Makes you emotionally feel what you can only see clearly in the dark, the most painful memories that you wished were forgotten. Forgotten. What if I had forgotten the true meaning of leaving Sora and heading out by myself? Before I could conceive any more questions in my mind, I could feel myself stir back into consciousness.
Before I was able to question anything, he seemed to have already had the answer. "You seemed uneasy." A concerned tone was heard from my ears. He had the right to be. I was gone for as long as I had been.
"Don't worry about it." I reassured him. "I'm just getting used to being back." I laid my head back on the soft pillow. "It's great to be home."
He made a sound of agreement. "I was almost worried that you'd never be coming back." A quiet laugh to break the quiet tension in the room, I'm guessing. "Almost worried? I thought I'd be missed more than that, Sora." I teased with a lighthearted tone to my voice.
It was surprisingly funny how we could break through the awkward silence of reuniting, and get back on a roll of teases and carefree fun like the past was only once but a forgotten subject. Never to return and to focus on the promising future rather than the tormenting past.
I excused my self to the bathroom. I brushed the cold water over my face constantly until I felt it was necessary to stop. Picking up the towel, I let the water be consumed by the soft cotton as well as the traces of my weary sleeping last night.
The fear of seeing a nightmare when I looked into the mirror was irrelevant. It was not the point of my attention anymore. That fear seemed to have vanished once I was shed positive light. The goals I had striven for were brought to mind. The reasoning behind everything came to me and brought me to the point of succeeding and seceding from my fears.
I could easily look in the mirror now and see an inviting smile rather than a menacing scowl. He was gone. It was only me now. I could control myself. I was me. There was not an old look alike anymore. One that would seemingly give me a dirty look even if I breathed has left for good.
I figured I took long enough in the restroom and exited without another word. Walking into the kitchen, Sora was searching through the refrigerator. He turned to look at me. "Fish?" He suggested.
"For breakfast?" Maybe it was living on an Island for about my whole entire life, but any types of fish didn't seem too appetizing during the parts of the day.
"Don't say another word." He closed the door from the chilling refrigerator and walked to the cabinet on his right. "Cereal? I can make a mean bowl of cereal."
I shrugged. "Sure." He smiled before getting the bowls, milk, and cereal for the both of us. "I want to go back." Sora turned to me. "Huh?"
"I need to go back there again, to the place I was staying at this whole time." I gently poked my cereal with the spoon as I watched the cereal pieces dive into the milk before popping back to the surface again. "Are you sur-"
"Yeah. I want you to come with me. A little part of me still doesn't feel right, you know?" He nodded slightly as he continued to eat his cereal before speaking up. "Later today is probably a good time to go, huh?"
We seemed to be in unison with our thoughts. "I'm going to change. Once I'm done, we can go." As he descended into the depths of his room, I took this time to do something productive while I thought. I grasped both of our bowls firmly in hand, and scrubbed them both up once I felt they were clean enough for my inspection.
"Done." Sora said as he broke me from my own thoughts. I dried off my hands by brushing them on the sides of my pants. He had the door open as he waited for me to walk through. Once I had found myself outside, Sora closed the door and locked it for our safety as well as the safety of the house.
It wasn't a short walk. Sora watched as the closer we got to that abandoned building, the less the houses around seemed to be nurtured or taken care of. The tone around this neighborhood was plain dark.
Everything in either a literal or metaphorical sense just seemed to be a lot less friendly than the more suburban parts of the Island.
Once the roads seemed to turn to gravel and fragmented rock pieces, I knew we were getting close to our destination. The rusty building came into view. As we walked up the small hill of stones, I could feel myself become a bit uneasy.
The door creaked on its hinges as it was opened. I was less frightened than I assumed I would be once I set foot in my few-month home. The cracking of glass stirred me out of my thoughts. I looked into the mirror. It was smashed by a hand. My hand.
I could feel the oxygen level in the room decrease. Second by second, it became harder to breathe. I coughed, somehow trying to get more oxygen into my lungs to stay awake.
I found it easier to breathe once I made myself to sit on the floor. I felt much more dizzier than I had ever felt in a while. I coughed multiple times as my vision decreased.
There was a break next to me as the sound of shattered glass echoed in my head. My head bobbled to the left a bit. I put my hand on my head, trying to stop the loud sounds of the glass around me.
Then there was a feeling. A hand reached behind me and I could have sworn it was my reflection until all I could see was black.The memories were slowly coming back to me. This was a time to not remember but to forget. A time to move on from past fears and continue your life with your head high.
Examining the other parts of the structure, I saw my old notebook on the stained glass table. If it was still here and nonetheless untouched, this building must have been more abandoned than I thought.
I grasped the notebook that laid beside the empty bottle on the table. I opened it and skipped through the mass of letters that I never finished and never had the courage to send. I stopped at an empty page and tried again to put my life into written words on some wrinkled piece of paper.
I'm fine.
Looking at the two words on the paper, I almost couldn't even believe myself. Was I really fine? I had to be. He would never run away from his problems. Why should I? He would go head-on with it until it wasn't a problem anymore, but just a piece dust he could kick around at his own will.
A soft sigh escaped my lips. Grabbing the paper, it somehow found its way into becoming balled up and thrown across the floor.
I got up and put the notebook back on the table, I'm guessing today wasn't the day.I gazed at Sora. He was being unusually silent. He seemed a bit shocked but still looked calm and collected. He looked at me with a brow held high. The area was messy with crumbled papers and glass pieces.
I had been known to clean up after myself. When I was here, It was hard to do anything. It was hard to sleep. It was hard to breathe. It was hard to be myself. It was hard to face my fears and leave.
Maybe it was Sora's presence. It could be him knowing my truth, even so I could feel that empty void being plastered shut.
He didn't seem to care who I was before or what I had done. He stayed with me for me. Even if I had left without a word for months, he still waited for me to come back. He never doubted me nor had I ever doubted him.
I couldn't jump headfirst.
Sora and I were going to help each other a little at a time.
We weren't going to rush anything.
We have all the time in the world.
All we have to do is take baby steps.
Baby steps, and everything will turn out okay. We promised.