Title – Science & Faith

Rating – Teen

Pairing – Nick & Sarah

Author Notes - This would be my first FF in years! So please forgive me if I am slightly rusty. I figure the best way to start would be taking a shot so here it is. Inspired by the script's song " Science & Faith "

Disclaimer – I do not own these characters – I'm simply toying for fun :)

Self sabotage – Self destructive behaviors. All play into the start of relationships sooner or later. That specific "shift" that changes everything. How the little things that were once intriguing suddenly become the catalyst for questioning your self worth – with arguments looming imminent as you carefully walk along eggshells to avoid confrontations as blissfully unaware as you perceive. Nick had realized the shift; had silently predicted the way Sara would react to the sudden breech of personal space. The things she had buried behind walls so carefully constructed now brazen almost brutal in the way they had come to his knowledge. Her past mistakes. Her alleged love affair from a distance. The way she would conduct herself seemed cold. At least now. He was yet to mention the "L" word. Out of fear for her skipping town. Or worse still skipping out on what they had.

Contemplation of a relationship hadn't occurred to either of them. It just didn't seem right to blur the lines of such a close friendship. Like a double edged sword – it struck to his core after the harsh realization that perhaps it would be a consideration. Nick kept his feelings on the brink for a long time. Months. Years. Quietly watching from a distance as the minutes melted into days, days into weeks, weeks into months and so forth. He was content with the arrangement. Never wanting to pursue a risk that would render him void of her. Sara's voice was low – stoic to the point that it was not a mere suggestion. Rather a statement of cold words that stung like ice floating across the room hitting his ear drums – his finger transfixed on the cup of coffee he had just poured himself. The ceramic warming his hands as he bowed his head down preparing for the blow.

" This connection your speaking of doesn't exist Nick " Sara stated coolly – her arms crossing her chest in a defiant argument. " There is no such thing as a spark – your attracted to me for two simple reasons " Her lips pursed together waiting for his reaction.

Nick calmly placed the mug flush with the table top; summing up the little restraint he had. This would be one of the countless conversations they had within weeks. They were getting closer to the point of questioning. Where is this relationship going? .

" So now your saying – There is no such thing as a connection ? "

" That's right Nick – you were attracted to me purely because of my BMI and Facial symmetry "

Nick exhaled watching the steam from his coffee rise; the curling tendrils calming him transfixed staring at her. Blatantly staring in disbelief at the most recent declaration on the theory of "We".

"Sar..." Nick started readjusting his tone to ensure he was not looking for another heated argument. Why couldn't she just see his point. Love is love. It's not science. There's that specific moment you KNOW you love somebody. You see them in everything you see. Every song you hear. Their name resounds in your mind over and over. You play memories of them as if silent films in your mind. Sometimes you fall into so many day dreams about them you literally hear the sound of film slapping around in your head until your plucked back into reality.

" It's not science. Feelings are not science. There is no logical explanation for the way you feel about somebody else. It's like seeing a mother with an unfortunate looking child. You sit there and question how could she love that ? "

"Love Nick"

Nick halted mid rant – Sara's eyes boring into the back of his skull. She rested her back against his sofa in mere attempt to look nonchalant as they exchanged gazes. Trying to make sense of what was unfolding before them. Nick stared innocently, his hands now clutching the mug as if it were a security blanket, his brow is furrowed almost painstakingly so. As if regret was a label stamped across his forehead. He once again ducked his head to avoid the scrutiny. He had seen the quiet recognition of confusion flash across her features before replaced with the mouth agape futility mask her usually stone exterior.

" Love is a state of mind " Sara argued to the silent audience.

" That's it " Nick pushed his chair from beneath him his body shifting before her in near record time. Faster than she had predicted his breath warm on her neck. His arms encircling her body pulling her towards him. She felt his hands creep from the small of her back, resting midway to pull her flush against his chest. Feeling his heart pound against her own. She felt his other hand gently tuck errant strands behind her ear, tangling them before smoothing them once more. " Is this a state of mind ? " He asked aloud.

Sara was side tracked. The sudden reality powerless against her arguments she had been spewing so freely moments ago now seemed trivial. How could she write this off as science. The physical shape of her demise was consoling her regardless of her arguments, her theories.

" You don't find this In books " Nick smiled. Pulling away to gauge her reactions. " It is what it is Sara "

Sara reached out for his hands. His hands were gentle, much like his nature. Despite the work they did. The amount of time spent encased in latex gloves, using sanitizer, scrubbing hands, cleaning. They were calloused to the touch, yet smooth, inviting.

Sara stood between two places. What she wanted. What she needed.

Standing in Nicks apartment. She felt a prick of guilt. Seeping through her pores, springing from her lips. Her throat becoming parched, dry, her lips moistened from a quick slip of the tongue, Eye lashes adorned her cheek bones hesitation echoing in her ear drums. Nicks ever patient gaze, observing waiting for some kind of cue. She could sense the dread, the worry. Could see it in his slumped shoulders, his weary eyes flickering in an attempt to read anything to suggest a way to react.

Gallantly he slowly raised his hand to caress her cheek, as a subtle way to encourage the words to come. Anything to give peace of mind. Some form of something to hang onto or an invitation to let go. Silently without words, he traced his fingers around the context of her facial features, his eyes never leaving hers. Her frame rigid to the touch. Strange to think of the intimate nature they have implored. Strange to think that between the sheets, they were so much closer than standing in Nicks living room. Strange to think that they have seen, tasted, touched, smelt, heard. Yet fully clothed – with no intimacy. They were as dysfunctional as ever.

Besides the ticking clocks, that rhythmically sung of time passing all that could be heard was the breathing patterns of two.

Nicks fingers entwined Sara's as the time continued on. Eventually his hand fell. After what seemed like hours with nothing coming through. No break through. No change of body contact. He finally gave in. He let go. Nick turned his back, his feet shuffling underfoot his shoulders dropping further.

It wasn't within seconds he felt her hand reach for his.

" Nick... "

Nick felt her slender fingers intrude between his tightly clenched finger tips, felt them snake around his digits before connecting with the palm of his hand. Her other hand resting on his shoulder, as her footsteps circled around him.

" What is it Sara ? "

*** To Be Continued ? *** Please Read & Review ***